are-you-kidding-you-are-both-so-married

Sleeping Beauties

Anonymous asked: Hey, i really love your fics and i have a prompt for you if you have thetime, just skimmonsdomestic au where jemma and skye are together since high school and now they are getting married and having a kid, i just wanna skye and jemma playing with their kid, preatty please and thank you!

Thank you! You are great, thanks for your kind words. I know this is fairly short, but I just had this image of them and I thought I’d share it like this. Thanks for prompting!

“Skye?” Jemma calls out when she carefully closes the door of their apartment behind her. The place rarely was so quiet. It only happened when their daughter and the dog were both asleep and the TV was off. It rarely was the case. Luca got fussy, Bruce was an active dog and more often than not they had friends over to either watch a game, a movie or just to hang out. It was a rare occurrence that there wasn’t any form of activity in the Simmons’ household. Jemma almost trips over a toy truck on her way inside after shedding her coat, but doesn’t find her wife in the living room. Odd. She calls out her name again, but still no response.

“Bruce?”

Their dog doesn’t respond either, but she’s sure she saw his leash in the hall and Skye’s keys on the little board they put up together to hold all of their keys. The hook below Skye’s “S” is taken.

She quirks an eyebrow and sets her bag down on the cooking island; there’s no note. She wouldn’t leave the house without her keys anyway, so Jemma realises she’s in the house somewhere.

On the coffee table she finds the baby monitor. It’s on, and through the speaker she can hear the soft breathing of Luca, their little girl. Jemma smiles and picks up the device. She could listen to the soft breathing for hours on end. For her it didn’t matter what else was going on, as long as she knew that this breathing belonged to her daughter and that she was safe in bed.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

okay, so I'm an asexual. So is my boyfriend. we'll fall sleep on each other all the time, and we cuddle all the time. We've talked about getting married and stuff. We both want kids(our own kids. Adoption is great, but we want our kids, you know?), but neither of us want to have the sex to make them. I think that sounds like really stupid, but do you have any advice?

That’s totally okay! You definitely do not have to have sex to have kids. It will cost you a bit of money, but there’s options out there for you. I’m inferring based on what you said that you are in possession of a uterus, so if you want to carry your own kids, artificial insemination is the least difficult and least expensive process. It basically works like this: your boyfriend masturbates and the semen is collected, processed, and a gynecologist will insert the semen into your uterus via a pipette. If that’s not working, in vitro fertilization is the next option - same process for him, but they’ll collect eggs from you, combine the two in a petri dish, then grow some embryos, transfer them into your uterus, and bam! Pregnant. If you don’t want to carry your own kids or if that is not a viable option, in vitro fertilzation can also allow a surrogate to carry the embryo for you. 

-Kiowa

A Marriage of Convenience

This fic is based on a request from anon: 

If you’re still accepting requests could I ask if you’d write on where the reader’s family dies and she then marries Bard just for convenience for both of them (like she would take care of him & his kids in exchange for a roof over her head) but over time they slowly fall in love? Perhaps some fluffy smut near the end?

Bard/Reader

Warnings: This is going to end in sex to put it bluntly, so if you aren’t into getting sexy with Babe the Bowman maybe don’t read this one.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bard or Laketown or any of Tolkien’s creations because I am not worthy!!!!!

AN: I tried to make it fluffy smut, but maybe it’s more on the smutty smut end of the spectrum? But I really hope you enjoy this story anyway nonny, and the rest of my lovely followers! This is my first Bard (Babe) the Bowman story so let me know what you think of it.

You and Bard had been friends since you were small children, when his wife passed you and your husband did everything you possibly could to help him and his children. His wife was also your very close friend and you missed her dearly. The children reminded you of her and you loved them looking after them as if they were your own. One tough winter when food was scarce and fuel for fires even scarcer your husband fell ill. Although you worked hard and brought home what little food and firewood you could, he passed away from his ailment. Bard was the first person by your side, offering help when you needed it. Sigrid, his eldest, was particularly helpful, helping do some of your housework while you were out earning money to live. This situation went on while you mourned for your husband but soon people were beginning to talk, saying that it wasn’t proper for a woman of your age to be living alone. You saw nothing wrong with it until the day the Master declared that if you did not marry in exactly one week, you were to live with him and he would take ownership of all your property. You would never suffer to live with such a disgusting man and desperately wracked your brains trying to find an answer to your problem. Bard had been away on his boat picking up fish for the village when the Master had made his decree. He arrived home a day before the week was up and Bain told him what had happened. He quickly made his way to your house, crashing through the front door, to find you sitting on a single suitcase in the middle of the room, your face in your hands crying, resigned to your fate of living with the Master of Laketown. You looked up at him with your face stained with tears and he dropped to his knees cupping your cheeks with his huge hands.

“What am I going to do Bard?” you asked through your sobs, staring into his dark eyes.

Bard considered this question for a moment, then his face lit up with realization. He stood up tugging at your hand.

“Come.” He said pulling you towards the door.

“Where are we going?” you spluttered back, as you got to your feet and let Bard lead you.

“To the magistrates office.” He replied, walking along the toppling walkways of Laketown.

“But why are we going there? He can’t help me.” you ask, completely mystified by your friends actions.

“So I can marry you of course.” He replied, impatiently pulling you forward.

You stopped dead in your tracks, jerking him back slightly. He turned around to look at you, wondering why you had stopped.

“But we’re friends Bard. You can’t marry me. What if you fall in love again?” You say sadly.

“You’re right y/n. We are friends but what kind of friend would I be if I just shipped you off to the Master’s doorstep without trying to help you?” he said a little exasperated.

You just stared at him silently, still clutching his hand.

“Please y/n. Let me help you.” He pleaded, squeezing your hand.

A single tear rolled down your cheek, you were so touched by his friendship.

“Alright Bard, but only if you’re sure.” You said, a small smile lighting up your features.

“Of course I’m sure!” he said, relieved that you were accepting his help.

He led you on between the rickety buildings, and wobbly bridges till you got to the magistrates office. The magistrate looked up and upon seeing his old friend Bard he waved cheerfully.

“What can I do for you old friend?” he asked shaking Bard’s hand.

“Good to see you Tom. I need you to marry us.” Bard said breathlessly.

Tom looked at Bard curiously.

“What did you say?” he asked surprised.

“I said I need you to marry us. Y/n and I.” Bard repeated himself.

“Oh, you wish to save her from the old pig. Well Bard it is a good thing you’re doing here, not that I expected anything less from you.” Tom said to Bard, leading you both into his office.

You came out ten minutes later with a smile on your face and a marriage license in your hand. You walked slowly with Bard along the wooden walkways by the water, until you took hold of his sleeve stopping him. He turned to face you smiling.

“Thank you so much for doing this for me Bard. I don’t know how I could ever repay you. You’ve saved me from hell on Middle Earth.” You said tears spilling down your cheeks again.

“I’d do just about anything for you y/n. You have been such a good and patient friend to me.” He said softly, pulling you into him for a hug.

“I wouldn’t be doing that with a man you aren’t married to y/n. You know how people talk and the Master won’t be best pleased.” Came a sniveling voice from behind you.

You turned to see Alfred snarling at you, wrapped up in his disgusting, oily coat. You smirked back, Bard still holding you protectively close to his body.

“Actually Alfred, I think you’ll find I am married to this man.” You replied triumphantly, waving the marriage license around in front of his face.

He tried to grab for it but you kept it out of his reach.

“If you don’t believe us, go check with Tom the magistrate. It’s all completely legal.” Bard said icily, leading you away.

“People are going to expect us to live together now y/n.” Bard said, finally starting to think through his chivalrous actions.

“Mmmmm and that you sell my house.” You replied, the full consequences of your actions now making themselves apparent.

“I will sell it for you, but you will be keeping all the money.” He said thoughtfully.

“I’ll sleep on the floor tonight too. I don’t wish to put you out at all.” You said, realising how much trouble this marriage had the potential to be.

“No. I’ll sleep on the floor you can have my bed.” Said Bard adamantly.

You went to argue but he raised and eyebrow at you and you decided to stay silent. This was going to take a lot of getting used to.

Months had now passed and you had spent your time in Bard’s household looking after his children much as you had always done and doing your fair share of the work to help feed and clothe everyone. Bard had made himself a bed and left it in the living room leaving you to have his room in privacy. You tried in vain to get him to stay in his room and let you sleep in the living room but he was having none of it. The Master had been enraged when Alfred told him what you and Bard had done, but he could do nothing about it, because as Bard had told Alfred, the marriage was legal. One afternoon as you were coming home from work Sigrid, Tilda and Bain caught you at the front door of their home.

“Y/n may we please go and stay at John and Margery McCarthury’s house?  Mrs McCarthury is making a cake especially for Johnny’s birthday.” Sigrid asked you.

You looked down at their hopeful faces.

“Did Mrs McCarthury invite you?” you asked them.

“Yes she did!” cried Tilda excitedly.

You smiled at the small girl.

“And will you be going empty handed?” you asked the three of them.

“No y/n.” they all said in unison.

“I’ve got her some flowers.” Said Bain, showing you a small poesy of purple blooms.

“Good, well I don’t see any problem with that then. Have fun!” you called after them as they ran off into the distance.

You dragged your feet inside and fell down onto a kitchen stool, completely exhausted from your day. You looked around at the kitchen noticing it was completely spotless, and that there was a vase with the same purple flowers in it that Bain was just holding. You got up to smell their sweet scent and noticed a small piece of paper with ‘Thank you!’ scrawled onto it, it made you smile.

“Those children are angels.” You mumbled to yourself, as you went to draw yourself a bath.

You enjoyed a long, hot, soak in the tub, scrubbing the dirt and grime from every inch of your skin. You were expecting a long night alone as Bard was out picking up barrels that floated down stream from the Woodland Realm till morning. After you were clean and dry you put on a light nightdress and snuggled into the furs on Bard’s bed. Even after months of sleeping in them, they still smelt of Bard. Lately you found yourself thinking of Bard more and more. Sometimes while you were working or washing the dishes at home or just running errands Bard would just pop into your mind and refuse to go away. Ever since you had accidentally barged in on him washing you couldn’t get his strong chest, and toned abs out of your mind, or his earthy smell or his kind brown eyes. You knew you shouldn’t be thinking of your friend in this way but you couldn’t help it. It had been so long since you had been with a man and you found yourself aching for Bard’s touch. You lay back against the bed head and breathed in deeply. The smell of Bard filled your nostrils and you sighed out loud. You fell into a light sleep, not caring that your nightdress was scandalously high on your thighs, as you weren’t expecting anyone home.

Bard made his way home silently and under the cover of darkness. He hated that the Master had him watched, but he also enjoyed outsmarting the watchmen. He opened his front door quietly and entered the dark house. He looked around him and noticed that his children were nowhere to be seen, after a moment of panic he remembered Bain telling him about Johnny McCarthury’s party and calmed himself. Then he thought of you, and your beautiful smile. He had been thinking of you a lot more then he cared to admit to himself of late. Late nights when he was alone on his boat he would imagine how warm it would be in your embrace. He chuckled when he remembered the day you had caught him washing and how you would blush every time he caught you looking his way for days afterwards. He saw a light coming from his bedroom and decided to see if you were awake. He took his boots off and left them at the door, silently walking towards his bedroom, he stopped when he reached the doorframe and his breath caught in his throat. You we half leaning, half laying on his bed propped up against the bed head. You were clad only in a thin little nightdress and you were on your side with you legs together and bent. Your nightdress had ridden up your thigh enough for him to see you weren’t wearing any underwear and a small groan left his lips. He was torn between leaving you and your modesty in peace or descending on your in a flurry of passion. It had been so long since he had lain with a woman and your show of skin was already making him rock hard. He decided on the latter.

Bard coughed loudly.

You awoke suddenly from your sleep; you thought you had heard somebody cough. You rubbed your eyes lightly and looked around the room sleepily. You eyes came to rest on Bard standing in the doorway.

“Oh hello. I thought you were supposed to be away for the night.” You said sleepily motioning for him to come and sit on the edge of the bed, completely forgetting about your state of dress.

He smiled at you, shrugging off his coat and dropping it on the floor as he walked towards the bed. You rubbed your eyes again, trying to wake yourself up a bit. Out of habit you ran your hands over your nightdress to smooth it out over your body. It was then you realised that it was barely covering you. You squeaked quietly in panic trying to pull it further down your thighs, blushing a deep pink colour. Bard had sat down next to you by now.

“No leave it.” He said softly, placing a strong hand on your own stopping their movement.

“But Bard, I’m hardly dressed.” You say desperately, looking into his eyes.

His normally light brown eyes, were now dark with passion. He moved your hands out of the way and started rubbing the exposed skin of you thigh.

“Forgive me if I have read your signs wrong, but I think we both want this.” He whispered as he leaned his face in close to yours.

He kissed your lips softly, his lips were a little weather beaten and they tasted slightly salty but you liked it. You kissed him back, sighing as he rubbed your thigh. He forced his tongue past your lips and you moaned. He tasted of ale and you swirled your tongue around with his, hardly able to believe this was actually happening. Bard broke the kiss and stood up to take his shirt off, your jaw dropped. His chest and abs were even more muscular then you remembered them. His chest was covered in dark, curly hairs, which thinned into a line and disappeared into his trousers. He chuckled while you gazed at him. You got up off the bed too and in one fluid movement you pulled your nightgown over your head. He groaned as he let his gaze roam over your naked flesh, taking particular notice of your full breasts and ample behind. You laid back down on the bed, your nipples becoming hard from the cold night air and Bard’s lust filled gaze.

“You’re so beautiful.” Bard sighed as he looked over your naked form.

He undid his belt and pushed his trousers and underwear down his legs, stepping out of them as he made his way over to you. His huge, hard member made you moan in anticipation. He pulled your legs open gently and settled himself between them, his naked body hovering over your own. He kissed your neck softly and you could feel his length pressing on your lower body every time he leaned into you. You tangled your hand in his hair and brought his lips up to your own kissing him hard and making him groan. He scooped an arm underneath you and pulled you up to a sitting position, you scrambled onto your knees and pressed you body flush against his, feeling his member press into your stomach. You kissed his neck lightly and let your hands roam over his strong back. He let his big hands fall to your ass and squeezed it hard, groaning at the feeling of your ample flesh in his hands. You pulled away from him slightly and he looked at you questioningly.

“Lie down Bard. I want to show you how grateful I am for your help.” You tried to say as seductively as possible; it had been a long time since you had done this.

He obeyed your command and lay down on the bed. You planted small kisses across his chest, lightly flicking each nipple with your tongue as you passed them. Bard moaned at the contact and you smiled into his skin continuing your way down over his stomach till you came to his hard member. He could feel your warm breath on him and his eyes rolled back into his head. You stroked him a few times with your hand then sunk your mouth down onto his member taking his whole length in one go. 

“Uh y/n!” he cried out in surprise, at the sudden heat enveloping him.

He tangled his hand into your hair and gently pushed down on your head, slightly thrusting his hips up to meet your mouth on every one of your downward movements. He started to moan loudly and tightened his grip on your hair, thrusting up a little harder into your mouth. You ran the hand that wasn’t supporting your weight up his body, gently caressing his skin and driving him wild. You could tell he was getting close but you weren’t finished with Bard just yet. You gently eased your mouth off his member and leaned up to kiss his lips. Your own lips were swollen and covered in saliva and he kissed you hard, pulling your body onto his and wrapping his arms around you. You eased yourself out of his embrace and leaned over to the drawers at the bedside. You fished out a small phial of sweet smelling oil. Bard raised his eyebrows.

“Why have you got that hidden away?” he asked, looking at the little glass phial in your hand knowing exactly what was inside it.

“It was for when I felt lonely during the night.” You explained, your cheeks turning red again.

Bard imagined exactly what you would do when you were lonely at night and groaned softly. His attention was brought back to reality when you sat between his legs, your own draped open, giving him a full view of your womanhood. His eyes widened waiting to see what you would do next. You took the phial and dripped some of its contents directly onto your heat, sighing at the sensation. You put the phial to the side and placed your right hand on your heat, spreading the oil with your nimble fingers, leaning back onto your left hand to give Bard a good view of your glistening womanhood and heaving chest. You heard a small moan leave his lips as he watched you rub yourself in front of him. When you dipped one finger, then two into your heat you heard him moan louder. You pumped your fingers in and out of yourself letting little moans leave your lips, you could hear Bard running his hand up and down his length and you were glad your show was having the desired effect. You slipped your fingers out of yourself and moved to Bard’s side, gently pushing his legs together and moving his hand from his length. You straddled him and slowly sunk down on his length till he was buried inside you to the hilt. You both moaned loudly, finally getting what you had both wanted for so long. You moved on him slowly at first but quickly built up speed.

“Uh gods y/n you’re so tight.” Bard panted as you rode him.

He squeezed the flesh of your ass hard as he watched your breasts bounce up and down with your movements. You could feel a familiar heat pooling in your core, every time your hips ground down onto Bard your clit pressed hard against his skin sending shivers up your spine. Bard could feel you heat getting tighter and knew you were close.

“Oh god Bard, I’m so close.” You said through gritted teeth, chasing your orgasm.

He reached a hand down so he could rub your clit and with a few more movements you were coming hard around his length making him groan at the tight squeezing sensation around him.

“Oh Bard!” you cried as you let the waves of your orgasm wash over you.

You slumped over him, placing your hands on either side of his face as you kissed him sloppily. He smiled into your kisses.

“How did that feel y/n?” he asked between kisses.

“Incredible!” You panted.

He bent his knees a little and gripped your ass hard, and started to thrust in and out of you, panting into your neck. He got harder and faster stimulating your already sensitive womanhood and sending jolts through your body. You started moaning loudly enjoying being taken hard. Bard’s moans became louder and his thrusts fell out of time. You bit down on his neck hard sending him over the edge.

“Ugh yes y/n, I’m coming!” he cried out as he spilled his seed inside of you.

You rocked your hips back and forth on him a few more times to draw out his pleasure a little longer until he wrapped his arms around you and you collapsed onto his strong body. He pulled out of you gently and rolled you onto the bed beside him keeping you enveloped in his embrace. He kissed your forehead lightly and you snuggled into him a bit more.

“I love you y/n. I’m sorry it has taken me till now to realize it.” Bard said softly, breaking the silence.

“I love you too. But don’t be sorry, I have you now and that’s all that matters.” You said sleepily in his embrace.

FIN

reasons a h50 deancas au is a great idea:

  • cas as steve means shirtless cas, badass!cas, cas with tattoos
  • dean as danny means daddy!dean, snarky dean, dean frequently yelling at cas “WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU.” 
  • constant Old Married Couple bickering
  • dean’s kid would call cas “uncle cas” and cas would help them train for physical stuff
  • dean’s love affair with malsadas and cas’ disapproval
  • they both have keys to each others houses and are each others emergency contacts :’))))))
  • real, verbalized “I love you”s SO MUCH

anonymous asked:

Hello! Can I have oikawa and noya hc when they are married to their s/o and have a 5 y/o child? Thank you so much I loooove your blog! <3

*dies of cuteness overload* Hope you enjoy Anon :D

- They both like to style their kids hair just like theirs and take selfies which they later post in Instagram with hashtags like #minime #mykidiscuterthanyours #mykidisinvincible

- They love doing the whole “take your kid to work” day. They both try to act all cool and professional, but they would always be like “isn’t daddy cool?” or “did you see that c/n?”

- They’re the parent that somehow always manages to be late to their school performance and games, but it’s because they were trying to get them a little something for their hard work.

- They take their kid out of school early sometimes just to go grab something to eat and spend quality time together.

- They have family movie night at least every week.

- They try to pick out outfits for their kid, but their s/o just tells to leave it to them bc they will create a fashion monstrosity.

- They ALWAYS cook/bake together as a family.

- They take their kids on play dates with some of their former volleyball buddies kids.

- They have a habit of ruffling their kids hair whenever they see them.

- They love doing those cheesy family photoshoots for like holiday cards. *bonus* they always include their pet

  • A wee grade 1 child:Miss Austin,my mom said girls can marry girls and boys can marry boys
  • Me:They sure can!
  • Wee grade 1 child:So both of the girls can have babies?
  • Me:Yes, if they want to.
  • Wee grade 1 child:Then who wears a bow tie when they get married?
  • Me:They can both wear bow ties or both wear dresses or one can wear a bow tie and one can wear a dress.
  • Other grade 1 girl:I want to marry *girl classmate's name*
  • Me:Well if she wants to marry you too then you can get married when you're older.
  • Like it's that easy to talk to kids about this stuff. Parents have nothing to freak out about. Little ones don't give a shit about gay sex! They only care about what you wear to the wedding!

anonymous asked:

I just wanted to tell someone I finally had the courage to tell my boyfriend about my diagnosis. It was difficult. I cried. I talked too much. I said "I don't know" a lot. I also gave him the facts& answered his questions. At the end he said he was a little freaked out but he likes me a lot, if not more, than he did yesterday. We aren't having sex until we're married anyway& I'm still nervous for the future but he said this wouldn't change anything &we'd figure it all out when the time comes.

I’m not kidding, I started tearing up while I was reading this. I’m so happy for you, and I hope this gives others hope for when they disclose to their partners. I wish you both the best and he sounds like a keeper! :)

Another Haikuish Proposal

We should get married
And then create some babies
To raise together

And when we grow old
Our children can stick us in
A nice nursing home

Then if you die first
I’ll see what kind of action
An old guy can get

But if I die first
I expect you to mourn me
Till the day you die

Lol, I’m just kidding
Have all the fun that you can
Till we meet again

But who knows maybe
We’ll both die at the same time
Cumming and going

I guess time will tell
So baby what do you think
Is it yes or no

Names (sim and partners): Cadmium Kinky and Daffodill Aria Smoothie (only Cadmium pictured)
Berry Lineage(If so how berry are you and/or your partner): Both full berry.
Age: Young adults
Marital Status: Soon-to-be married. (They aren’t young adults or married yet, but will be likely by the time the decisions are made.)
The name of the Baby Sweet you’d like to adopt: Dusty Rose
Reason why: Daffodill grew up in a big family, and though she wants kids, she doesn’t want a crazy hectic house like hers was. She only wants a few kids, however Cadmium wants a few more. As a compromise, they agreed adopting an older child (or, in this case, teen) to raise would be good.

Application by: berrysweetplumbobs

We’re still accepting applications to adopt Dusty, Oleander and Aubra!

With fond memories and tender kisses they sorrowfully wished one another happiness for the future, each one knowing that it could not be so.

Isolde gave Tristan a ring, a sign of her undying love, and Tristan departed in deep sorrow, boarding the first ship for Normandy. For some time he sought distraction on the battlefield, seeking out wars and conflicts in foreign lands. Finally he settled on an island called Arundel between England and Brittany, where he offered his services to a knight named Kaedin, who had a beautiful unmarried sister. She was called Isolde of the White Hands.

Living in Kaedin’s castle, Tristan frequently came into contact with Isolde of the White Hands, and with time he found himself becoming more and more attracted to her. He himself did not know why. Was it her beauty? Or was it her name? Was it the person? Or was it a phantom memory of times past that could never be relived? Was it the essence of love itself? He did not know.

Gottfried’s account breaks off at this point, but the story, as told by Thomas of Britain and others, continues:

Tristan’s feelings had no center. His frustration and confusion found no satisfaction. He could not surrender to his desires, for he did not know what he wanted. Finally he did what others expected him to do. He married Isolde of the White Hands. On their wedding night he did not sleep close to her, although it was obvious that she desired him.

http://www.pitt.edu/~dash/tristan.html

Why is it so hard for fellas to decide where to take a girl for a date? There's museums, so you can both learn about history. Art galleries, so you can both glare at fascinating masterpieces. Public parks, so you can have a picnic and play some frisbee. Drive-in theaters, so you can watch both the movie and the sky filled with stars. Beaches, so you can both enjoy the warm sun while your feet are buried upon the sand. Amusement parks, so you can both pump adrenaline and feel like you're flying. Live concerts, so you can both listen to the music that brought every individual at that location together. Stop being so simple, guys. A dinner date should only be for 2 occasions: For a first date, to get to know each other. And for when you guys are married and have jobs and kids and you want to know how their day went and just relax knowing you won't have to do the dishes. Be creative, I'm tired of all the females out there complaining that guys aren't chivalrous and thoughtful when planning dates.

I should introduce myself, call me Grissoul. I am female so proper pronouns please and thank you. Obviously I am a furry. So here are some quick facts.
- I am a parent to both kids and pets
- I’m married to the love of my life for almost 10 years
- My fursona is a cross fox
- I’m pretty laid back unless you mess with my babies
- I am a jack of all trades crafter with a lot of experience in sewing
- want to know more? Ask I swear I don’t bite!

anonymous asked:

2, 3, 4, and 6 for the achievement hunter thing? :)

2. Member you think you are most like?

Gavin, Probably; he and i are really stupidly funny??? We also ask a lot of hypothetical questions and say things that make no sense

3. Member you think you would get along with best?

Geoff, we both are pretty cynical and had really similar childhoods, so we’d probably have a lot of fun talking together.

4. Favorite member overall and why?

It used to be Ray, but now it’s Ryan. He is really weird and crazy and I love how he can be like that, but it’s also really cool that he’s married and has kids and is also a family man. Geoff has a family, too, but Millie is older now and he and Griffon are super laid back and amazing, but Ryan just has a way about him that makes me feel oddly comforted??? You can see it in him sometimes when he talks to Gavin, who he obviously thinks is the most childish of the group.

6. Favorite Team? (Lads, Gents, Nice Dynamite, ect.)

R&R Connection all the way, those two are great together and sometimes it brings out the best and worst in Ray.

Things the girl I babysit said just today:

  • "hey, did you know that boys who want to be girls is illegal? jesus made it illegal"
  • "that seagull is the prettiest, because it is the skinniest and it has the biggest eyes"
  • "boys cant wear pink or theyd be a girl and thats illegal"
  • "you can marry another girl??? gross! yuck! but you’re both girls? gross no!"
  • "I’m going to marry a Mormon man, and if I have a lot of kids I’ll be a good person.”

anonymous asked:

part 2 for the birthday wish please!!!

"my otp is the author of glory and gore and the author of experiments together, i dont even know if u guys know each other but i want you both married with kids and writing AMAZING stories together"

"why is experiments eveything ive ever wanted in life but didnt knew until now?????? i just finished reading all chapters and omg 10/10"

"Yo what happen to Read You Till I Need You?"

"I love the relationship that L and C have in the perks of being a lesbian so muchhh!! Please update again soon! I need more of this fic in my life!"

"experiments goes so hard fuck"

"Hey guys it’s Em! So I wanna know-do you want the second part of Birthday Banned to be in Camila’s P.O.V, or should I just stick with Lauren? Thank you so much for taking the time to read it tho omg I just saw the notes!! Glad you enjoyed it 😘"

"FIRE ESCAPE BROKE MY HEART, OHMYGOD"

"You should really write another chapter for fire escape ugh it was so good"

"I made the terrible decision of reading Experiments in school and the teacher asked me if I was ok and why my cheeks were so red.  I couldn’t even give him a coherent answer. 😳"

""Did the one-shot about C working in a coffee shop and L ordering the same thing every day and is a bit “weird” get removed? (forgot the name of it)" yep, because it was another case of plagiarism."

anonymous asked:

Hey. I need help. I have been told by one of your friends to go to you for advice. Her name is Alliza? I'm one of her friends on Tumblr and she said you were a good source for advice. What do I do if both of my fictional characters in a book fell in love instead of the other two that I planned for them to be with? Lol

Accept you fate. Deal with it. Roll out the fanfics where your otp grows up,gets married, have 12 kids, and grow old together. And just so you know anon, I’m am here for you during these devastating times. Lol ;)

I was tagged by adeadlyinnocence and five-string-serenade. love you both!

Rules: Answer the questions from the person who tagged you. Make up 11 new questions and tag 11 new people. Tag whoever tagged you so they can see your answers.

1. What are your thoughts on marriage and having children?

I think marriage is highly overrated and pointless for the most part and I have absolutely no desire to ever get married. I am 100% NOT wife material. as far as kids go, I would literally rather die than have a kid. I think pregnancy is THE most horrifying and absolutely disgusting thing on EARTH. I have literally thrown up after seeing pregnant people and i’m not going through that myself, even if it means never having sex again. if someone else wants to do these things, go for it. I will not be taking part, however.

2. What’s your relationship like with your parents?

I detest both of them.

3. Who is the most inspiring person to you? They can be dead.

hans-joachim marseille. no one will ever compare to him for me.

4. If you were trapped in the Twin Towers on 9/11 would you let the fire and smoke consume you or commit suicide by jumping?

it’s hard to guess what I would do in that situation, but I feel like i’d jump.

5. If you could transport back and live in any era, which one would it be?

I wouldn’t want to live in another era because i’m super happy with this one, because it’s the EDM era, but if I could just visit one it would be the 80’s for the new wave/industrial/goth/thrash metal scenes.

6. Is it ever okay to lie or is honesty the greatest value?

I am painfully honest with everyone close to me and I expect them to be the same way back.

7. Is war necessary?

a necessary evil, as they say.

8. Do you believe in monogamy?

i’ve seen enough examples of it around me to say I do.

9. If you committed a crime with someone, would you turn on them if you were caught?

depends on the person. for the most part, if i’m going down you’re going down with me.

10. What’s your reason to continue living?

to hopefully do/experience all the crazy things I want to in life. and, most importantly of all, I have many more Ultra Music Festival’s and EDC’s to attend. that is THE reason why I struggle to make it through each day, because the end result will be a 3-day escape under a sea of lasers where nothing else on this earth matters with people on the same cosmic trip as me to the music we would all die for, and having the only thing I will ever consider a true spiritual experience. it’s what I live for and what makes this all worth it.

11. If you could choose how you wanted to die, what would it be?

realistically, I see myself being killed instantly by speeding in my car and crashing to this song. it’s bound to happen eventually and I embrace that fully. I would go out extremely happy and on a massive natural high. 

anonymous asked:

No but seriously I've seen two pics and in both pics she's only wearing an engagement ring not a wedding ring/band. So that means she's not married to Jesse whom is wearing a ring. So the question remains who is she engaged to? Give you my guess, the guy she's had a storyline with the whole season.

Oh no you don’t!
I already accepted she’s not going to end with Sam, don’t come here giving me hope kkkkk Okay I’m kidding but idk… because here where I live guys use rings when they are engaged and I didn’t saw Sam with a ring, but your theory is good!
But right now all we can do is wait and see what happens :)

anonymous asked:

Okay dis John I'm trying to send it through the web browser and not the app so HEY

FUCKING FINALLY why was tumblr eating all of your asks D:

First impression:

wtf there is a boy in my dorm room

Truth is:

i dont care how gay we both are we’re still getting married


How old do you look:

like 12.9

Have you ever made me laugh:

all the time bc we are funny as heck B)

Have you ever made me mad:

yeah but that’s because ur a piece of shit and im also kind of a giant bitch so like….

(just kidding of course i’ve been mad at u but i love u so it is ok)

Best feature:

all of them except ur yugioh boner

Have I ever had a crush on you:

*war flashbacks*

You’re my:

bae <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Name in my phone:

I think you’re still Stone Cold Gay

Should you post this too?

do the thing bae