are-other-people-seeing-this-because-i-was-dying

5

On primitive human planet, plants touch YOU.

i dont know where to begin with this so if i ramble on, im sorry, or not, i dont know. over the past couple of years ive had this growing anxiety building in every particle of my body and im finding it so hard to tame and control because its monsterous compared to my levels of patience. i hate growing up, im extremely pessemistic about this kind of stuff because the way i see it is that im one day / hour / minute / second away from dying. and i know thats a shit way of thinking of things but i cant help it, one day im going to die and the only thing that will be left of me is the memory of others who will also inevitably die. i want to create. i want to experience life in the way that all the inspirational people say it is. amazing / colourful / energetic / vibrant. i want to feel all of that before its to late but i cant get myself out of this fucking rut of self loathing and doubt. i put up a front most of the time to make people think im having a good time with whatever im doing but i can never be 100% into what ever is going on because i have the constant annoying as fuck voice in the back of my head telling “you know this is one step closer to the last time you’re gonna see your friends, right?” or “this is edging closer to the last time you will ride your skateboard around the street annoying the elderly neighbours?”.

ive felt empty for so long & i know this is turning into a cringe fest but im past caring. i want to fucking enjoy myself without thinking about the inevitable. if you have any tips or tricks to making me feel less shit id be happy to read them

I’m so sick and tired of this damn fandom that I’m about ready to erase myself from the entire fandom.


Its a god damned ship people. We respect you want your week, and we will let you have your week because you deserve to show off the ship you love, but people don’t always pay attention to these kinds of things AND they may even have your ship blacklisted because they don’t personally want to see it. But yelling and complaining to others about it is not ok and quite honestly, there are more important things to complain about in this world. There are people dying all over the world from starvation, discrimination and/or disease and you all are complaining about fictional character love.

anonymous asked:

holy fuck you should yank your two front teeth out then reset them so your not some sort of buck toothed retard

Why they’re great. Also resetting them don’t work. I suffered with braces for YEARS AND YEARS IT WAS HELL and they just slipped back. I don’t really see the point in being miserable to correct them for other people’s benefit when they are so much prettier as they are. I mean, Hermione has teeth like me, it’s so cool. I also rly like that they are this way because of my first stim. I sucked my thumb for years, until I was about 7. It was the first really noticeable autistic behaviour I had. I like having something that embodies my autism, a lot of my stims are stil oral-related.

thanks for this ask I’ve been dying for an excuse to gush over my teeth tbh I fucking love them.

Except the back ones fuck them they can fuck off forever,

Tagged by lost-in-thyme-and-spacebars and avengers-on-the-uss-enterprise.

Rules: if tagged, post a picture of the hairstyle you would have as a Star Trek captain. Once you post it, tag 10 other people you want to see do it (blalablalb to lazy). #captainshairstyle

This hair is my “dream hair” (link because I can’t post a fucking pic today thanks to my stupid internet)

I dyed my hair green before and my hairstyle now is pretty similar to this one (but shorter) but I never tried both things together… maybe one day. Also, with this hair I think I would be more a mirrorverse captain than a “normal captain” XD

Some vent art because I am so fricking upset over this. When Leelah died my dash was nothing but her, Zander has been gone for 4 days and there has been nothing on my dash. It’s just unbearable that people are dying, by their own hand or by others, because of who they are. It’s unbearable that people can’t wrap their heads around the fact that we are all human beings. I hope Leelah’s parents see past the lies they’ve been told, and I hope Zander’s mother seeks help because she desperately needs it. 

This is for all of those whose death goes unrecognized, this is for all of those who just become another statistic, this is for all of those who are in such pain because of who they are, this is for all of those who are struggling. You are loved, you are cared for, don’t give up. 

So last night I watched Freaky Fusion on Netflix and loved it, quite a fun movie, I can’t believe some people in the tag don’t like it.

I mean it’s not perfect, but there’s time travel, a lesson about getting along with each other, Victor “Sparky” Frankenstein, and Frankie dying and getting revived in the finale.

My one hope is that the thing between Frankie and Neighthan Isn’t continued in future specials, because I really don’t see their relationship lasting very long, being Teenagers and all.

why do we live out entire lives
focused on greed and power?
no matter what material wealth we obtain
we are all the same, fundamentally
the universe shows no favoritism to those
who lived lavishly,
who cared more about adding another million to their bank accounts
than the well being of other people
i hope it comforts you in the end
because you can’t eat money, breathe it, drink it
so when we’re all dying
no matter what you once had
you’ll finally see that we’re all equal
every last god damn one of us
—  if i carve your salary into the headstone, maybe then they’ll mourn you | f.s

anonymous asked:

two secs of bonnie mourning then being sent off screen where she apparently gets fixed and comes back renewed and ready to play hero is not what i want to see. Also just because they were boring for you doesnt mean those scenes dont matter. This is about bonnie not being able to grow because of how they shaft her relationships and pretty much make her into a robot. I think things will change when she comes back though.

i know a lot of people think bonnie is gonna change and come back darker or whatever, but honestly deep down, i dont see it. even when she was dealing with expression in season 4 and about to kill elena and all that jazz, she was still bonnie. still dying for people, still putting others before herself, still the same person. i dont think she’s gonna change that much. maybe a little, but not what everyone is expecting. i know she must be going through hell in this 1994 thing but she hasnt been there that long. i dont think she’s gonna become a whole new person.

and to be completely honest, whichever way they go with it will be fine. if she comes back darker, i’ll be pleasantly surprised. and if she stays they same, then she’ll stay the same. as awful as it sounds, i dont care that much. ive always tried to like bonnie, but maybe it’s because i like the selfish villains of the show and she is the complete opposite, ive never been all over her. i want her to get out of 1994, but i dont really care about what happens after she does. 

theyll find a way to make it about delena anyway. youve got to remember what show you’re watching.

anonymous asked:

Im glad you haven't, you may not know me but i care about you and you're well being. Im sure they are more people who care about you. DO NOT EVER think about killing yourself or dying because you will be a huge loss to this world. You are special, you're blog is beautiful and i look forward to your post everyday.

awwww. This is so cute and I’m so thankful for the wonderful people I’ve met on tumblr and it makes me smile how strangers actually care for each other. For me.
I do think about death but not about killing myself. At least I do not see it as an option. It’s things like this that makes me see reasons to live. Thanks for your message you wonderful person.<3 (also thanks for liking my blog)

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry but your "Weird things to do as a homestuck" is very embarrassing. The post said to do many things weeaboo homestucks do. Such as yelling at people for having a bucket. By the way saying gog or saying that buckets are inappropriate is very rude. You are ruining the homestuck reputation by spreading this info! Please do not spread anymore of this information, thank you and have a nice day.

Lol i’m dying right now. Hello “this-is-a-bobbery”. Not to be rude, but I’ll post what i want, because I have a right to and to get straight to the point, I don’t really give a shit about what people like you think. Life’s too short to worry about whether or not I’m meeting the approval of others. I am me, and I do what I do. Nothing I did was intended to be offensive and I don’t possibly see how it was taken that way. Thanks for the ask though, and have a nice day as well. ;) 

anonymous asked:

Yes sorry shoulda used their names

okie dokie so Xanxus x Bel

who the fuck put the peeps in the microwave
Bel of course

who forgot to put the cat outside before sex
Xanxus he thought it would be smart enough to stay away apparently not

who posts vines of the other doing embarrassing shit
Xanxus because he just wants to share Bel’s dorkyness with the world but it’s mostly to show people the adorable lil’ shit hole that they can’t have

who breaks the most phones
Xanxus does Bel rigged it so that any phone Xanxus gets has flappy bird on it because he likes it when Xanxus gets angry for reasons

who dies first
I can see Bel dying first tbh ‘cause he goes insane when he sees his own blood and might go too far insane to notice if he’s going to die or not

which one I could see as being lactose intolerant
Xanxus because really can you imagine Bel not eating chocolate or ice cream and he’d die without milk since it’s his favourite drink

who thinks they can do something really well even though they can’t
Xanxus thinks he has the ability to be nice ‘nuff said

who is more likely to get kicked out of the bed
Bel for laughing to much

who uses the computer most
Bel uses it more because things like tumblr amuse him greatly which is why he gets kicked out the bed so much tbh his laughter is because of tumblr and stuff

Everyone Deserves to Live

im so upset right now. and im obviously gonna say why. It seems people forget that bad things are happening right this very minute that we’re enjoying ourselves. People in other countries are dying right now for things they hold so dear to them. Like beliefs. Im not saying believing something is dumb, and im not saying that we should always be caught up in thinking about those people out there dying. If anything i feel like it would make us consider our own lives, and do the things we love, or show the people we love, that we love them because we can see how quickly things can take a turn. But the whole main reason i am upset is because to this situation thats going on now to those people is saying it needs to be done. It needs to be done to show other people that we need to get in gear and believe. It needs to be done?!! “oh you know it’s terrible and all, but it’ll show others how to act” fucking bullshit!! The sacrifice of some to save the rest?! Say that to the people who are crying because they dont know how they’re going to keep their family alive. Their children. Say that to them and let me know how it goes. Every life is important, and to hear that just really fills me with anger and disgust. When will it all stop? When will everyone see that everyone, EVERYONE, deserves to be happy and live. Not to be fearing about how their families will survive and how much longer they have to live.

7

Would anyone even miss me if I died? Because honesty who actually gives a fuck? I’m just an insignificant person in a world of endless amounts of people so what difference would it make if the world lost me? Barely any.
Sure my friends and family would be upset but they’d get over it and soon enough id be a fond memory. But their life would continue and they’d move on, all people do.
I honestly just fail to see the point in all of this. What do I bring to the world that any other human being doesn’t?

If depression is a side effect of dying, then when will i be dead? Because I swear my mind is suffocating me.

dreyriadr asked:

( gently. shoves. a melon & vanilla smoothe into ur mouth. stares into ur soul as i do this. does not bl in k. )

melon : my first impression of you.

i don’t remember which muse of yours i saw you on first, but i used to hear about you a lot through garnie and some other people, and i’d always thought you were someone a lot of people seemed to really enjoy having around, and then i managed to start seeing you around on my dash. my first thought was probably that i really loved your writing and you were a really talented role player who put a lot into their characters. 

vanilla : what i like most about you.  

i’m forever dying because you understand fenris so much, and i’ll never get over it because so many people reduce him to certain traits but don’t look at him for how he fluctuates, how complex and diverse his personality and actions can be, and when we finally really started talking, i got to see how much you’ve actually looked at him in different lights and see more of him than just how most of the da fandom wants to see him as just ‘a mage hating elf’. he’s such a fantastically constructed character and i’m forever in love with the fact that you’re in love with him the same way i am, and i could watch you write him all day long; your portrayal of him is my favorite. but other than just stuff about you loving fenris, i love how dedicated you are with theme making, and just role playing in general.