How to fall out love:

You are constantly worrying. You no longer live the life of a care-free child that welcomes each sunrise. You close the blinds, shut the lights off and build up walls on crumbling foundation. You lock the doors and pretend no one is home. Excuse me, you pretend no one lives in this house. Because home is a place where love thrives, it seeps through the cracks of the walls and you kicked it out months ago. But his smell still lingers on your coat you no longer wear. And you don’t wash your hair with that one shampoo because he borrowed it one day and you only remember burying your face in while he kissed your neck. Please open the doors back up. You can change the locks but don’t lie on that cold hardwood floor waiting for someone to pick you up. Turn on the lights and open the blinds. Let the sunrise dance on your skin when you stretch out of bed. Make new memories in this vessel, skip down the halls to your favorite song, waltz into the bathroom like you’re getting ready for a ball. Tell yourself you’re beautiful and that you love that little smirk you make. I can’t really tell you how to fall out love because I don’t think that’s possible. But I can tell you deserve to love yourself more than what you’re doing. You deserve to smile when you please, you deserve to put on your favorite shirt, you deserve to do things for yourself and be selfish. Be selfish with your time but never with your love. Love always. 

Atlanta, I miss you darling
  • Mary Mac’s Tea Room 
  • Little Five Points 
  • Church 
  • Benjamin E. Mays 
  • Bolton Rd. 
  • Waffle House (quality) 
  • Cascade 
  • Downtown 
  • Midtown 
  • RuSans 
  • Buckhead 
  • That coffee shop 
  • The Studio 
  • The High Museum of Arts 
  • Atlantic Station
  • Krispy Kreme
  • Greenbriar 
  • Westend

Innocent kisses. Drunken kisses. High kisses. Happy kisses. Sad kisses. Hesitant kisses. Angry kisses. Sloppy kisses. Short kisses. Sweet kisses. Long kisses. Hot kisses. Cold kisses. Breathtaking kisses. Nitrogen and Oxygen exchanging kisses. Unexpected kisses. Deep kisses. Forehead kisses. Kisses below. Eskimo kisses. Cute kisses. Morning kisses. Moonlight kisses.

Two-way streets.

I was walking to the shuttle this morning to go to class. I sent a good morning text and began to wonder if anyone thinks of me this way. If that when they see something that reminds them of me they smile. Or even the opposite, like I’ve placed a bad taste in their mouths. 

I remembered how I spoke on not wasting energy on conversations with other people unless I think it would be worth something. It really hit me how no one reaches out to me (rarely)  and exchanges energy with me. Do I portray myself in a manner where you also think that I’m not worth wasting energy on? Do you think I don’t have anything worth hearing to say? Or have I not given you enough information to lead you into the right direction for a conversation to be worth something. 

I think I have been so absorbed in myself for so long that I looked at not responding to conversations to other people as a waste of energy. On the other side of the street they may think of me as the same way. 

I want to change that. I have gotten over expending love despite who you are and what you are. But I think the next step is to be open to become receptive to what people have to say. 

Don't apologize for your choices:
  • Don’t tell her you’re sorry 
  • Don’t tell him you didn’t mean to 
  • Don’t say excuse me when you mean move the fuck out of the way 
  • Don’t ask if you mind when you don’t care 
  • Don’t say place I do apologize in front of a ‘but’ that follows with an I don’t give a shit 

You made the choice for a reason. No excuses. No apologies.

i. 

I am missing you. In the French language they say “Tu me manques” which means “You are missing from me” and each time you tell me “I am missing you” it translates to you are continually missing me, there is no beginning or no end. I don’t want to place too much emphasis on this but you sweet sweet boy tell me again. 

Today was really good. I went out my comfort zone and asked this random ( gorgeous) girl if she’d be interested in taking photographs. I was super nervous. Gorgeous people make me nervous. But Hannah calmed me down and I did it! Went on a shoot with Hannah and then another on campus. And then maybe one tomorrow. I’m so hyped up man. I might even drop $78 dollars to get Lightroom back on my computer. Because its much needed.

Back to reality of lame school and drawing. I need to figure out what I want to do for my final. I’m thinking naked people, shrouds and forest.

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