So my boyfriend has been telling me for about a year now that his parents, siblings, friends, and family know that he is smoking weed. He said they were completely fine with it and that they trust him. I don’t know why, but I believed him. Anyways recently he came back from Florida and he told me he would stop since he is trying to join the Navy. I was ecstatic! Honestly even though I don’t want him in the Navy, I was so happy that he was will to stop smoking.
Unfortunately the other day he was complaining that he doesn’t want to stop and went out to smoke. This broke my heart, and literally tore me to pieces. I refuse to date a pothead. I don’t want to date someone who looks at their future so poorly. I asked him time and time again to stop, but he refused. I gave him ultimatums, me or weed. He choose to make himself happy and do whats best for him, aka weed. I gave up sexual activity and kissing (the kissing part I gave in after a week) in hopes of him realizing he is going to miss out on a great summer.
Obviously he didn’t mind because he started planning the next time he’d do it again. I had enough. I asked him if it was okay to ask his mother for her advice but he insisted that she was fine with it, and even if she said no that he would continue on with his smoking. I gave him a kiss and went home.
Now there is some things I should include. His mother and I are pretty close. I trust her with my life. I can tell her anything and go to her for any problem.
I also need to include the fact that his bedroom has no door knobs because his mother caught him smoking before, and she got pissed. My boyfriend told me she only got mad because it was in her house and that she would have been fine with it if he would have done it outside. I don’t know why I believed him.
So as I went inside my house I texted her asking for advice. I needed someone to talk some sense into her son, or some sense in to me. May I was the one being the bad girlfriend by making him choose. I didn’t know that this would be a problem since he explained before that she was cool with it. This is how the conversation went:
Me: I am having a problem :( your son is annoying me, and I need some guidance in this issue. No I am not pregnant lol
Her: Umm you better not be
-Now what’s up
-Well go home issue solved. Lol
Me: Well your son in frustrating me with this smoking thing :( And I am home because he “wanted to chill home alone”
Her: What smoking thing
Me: He is smoking weed again. I hate it. I keep telling him to stop but he won’t.
Her: Oh really
.. At this point I began to realize that she didn’t know he was doing it again. I had been lied to and so had she. It was really disappointing to her. At that moment he starts calling my house phone, cell phone, mom’s phone profusely. I didn’t answer. Five minutes later there is a pounding at my door. My mom was so angry because she is scared half to death not knowing whats going on.
He waved me to come outside and I did so. He asked what I told his mother. I repeated what was in the text messages and then he blamed me for losing his job. He works under his parents in a business they own and she was furious. He told me that we were over and said “go fuck yourself” as he stormed away. I asked for my stuff and he mumbled something as he jumped in his aunt’s car and drove away.
I honestly didn’t mean for this to happen. I thought she knew, I thought she would be okay with it. I thought she would talk to me about understanding why her son smokes, and all these odd and crazy scenarios in my head. However this conversation didn’t go about this way. I know he is so angry with me, but he needs to stop. If our relationship needs to be sacrificed for him to stop smoking weed, then so be it.
I love that boy, and he makes me happy. However I don’t want to date someone with such low morals, and if he doesn’t want to stop then I don’t think I was worth much to him anyways. I need someone who thinks about the future and not just present needs. I need someone with strength. If you want to smoke weed, fine do it. Don’t expect me around, and don’t expect me to not let your mother know now.