I slept for most of the morning, waiting for my girl to come home. Hoping, each time I fell asleep that I’d wake up to the bed dipping behind me, a chilly finger on my cheek, or chapped lips on my forehead. I would have been up late, either stealing kisses, or crying about things that happened years ago, or just spending hours wrapped in the softest skin I’ve ever felt. I sleep far better with her head on my chest, with her arm wrapped around me, almost pleading with me in her sleep, begging me not to leave. It makes me feel safe. Really safe. Most nights we’d sit together and play Minecraft, eating sherbet dip dabs and fizzy laces. After our Dominos of course, that’s tradition. So on weekdays she’d wake up at around 6am, she’d struggle to get up and fall asleep in my embrace, until she had to rush around to get ready. She’d still dry her hair in the living room though, so I wouldn’t wake up to the noise. Then she’d gently tell me she was going, sitting on the side of the bed and stroking my hair. She’d bend down to kiss me with her cold, minty lips, and I’d complain “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet”. She’d laugh and wave her hand at my comment, before checking her hair in the mirror. Then, she’d head to the door and stop, turning to me, as if she was considering getting back into bed and spending the day with me. Which she did, on a few lucky occasions. Then, we’d sleep into the afternoon and then spend the rest of the day buying crap from Asda and playing minecraft. Or watching films, or the L word. But for the days when she had to work, I’d stay in bed feeling lonely. Or when Marley, our cat, made an appearance, we’d spend the day cuddling, or playing. But the minute I heard the front door open, I’d check my hair in the mirror and get ready for my heart to either stop, or beat so quickly I can’t feel my feet. It varies, depending on whether she kissed me or just smiled. Either way, it became hard to breathe when she was around. So when I see her, in just under three weeks, I know that all the air in my lungs will leave the second I see her. And when I get her back in my arms, you’ll need industrial equipment to get her out of them. When I wake up in the middle of the night, and am able to pull her closer, I’ll never come back. Ever.
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