That night I get no sleep. I can’t just bail on meeting them at the airport can I? I promised them I’d be there, and I want to see them. The only thing stopping me is facing Michael, how am I supposed to act towards him? I hate that he didn’t just stay to talk about it, but then again we’re talking about Michael.
It’s 5am and I am rushing to the car as I need to be at the airport to say goodbye to them, I am exhausted from the lack of sleep but I’ll try to get some when I’m back.
I am there only 30 minutes later and I try to look for the gate where they have to be when I notice him with his messy blue hair and my hair starts racing. As I approach them Michael notices me and I can just see in his face that this is going to be the most awkward acquantaince ever.
“I’m here guys!” I annouce once I’m fully at the group.
“Good! I thought you weren’t going to come!” Ashton says
“I’m not going to see you for three freaking months, of course I’m going to see you before you leave” I laugh.
“We don’t have long before we have to board though” Luke says and looks at Michael.
“Yeah, Lindy, can I talk to you?” Michael stutters and I feel the anxiety bubbling up in me as I nod. We walk a bit away from the guys to sit on some seats.
“I… I just want to apologize for what I did yesterday” He begins
“I’m really confused Michael, I thought you only thought of us as friends?“ I ask
"I do!” Michael says louder, “Well, I thought I did” he whispers after that
"Michael what are you sayi-“ I start but get interrupted by a loud voice annoucing that their flight is boarding.
"I’m so sorry” Michael whispers and hugs me tight before he leaves to the gate.
“No Michael! You can’t just leave it like this?!” I yell after him but he doesn’t listen and disappears as the other guys watch us intensely.I sigh and walk to the other three.
“I guess this is goodbye, please skype me as often as you can” I say as I pull Calum in for a tight hug.
“I promise” Calum whispers as his arms hug me tight.
Next I hug Ashton and he tells me that he’s going to miss me and he’s going to call me as soon as they land in Europe.
Lastly I hug Luke and he looks at me with a look of pity.
“Michael told you didn’t he” I whisper in his ear as he hugs me tight
"Yeah” He whispers back
“Please get him to talk to me, Luke. I can’t handle these three months without talking to him. He’s going to try and shut me out but please don’t let him get away with it” I start to tear up and Luke pulls me away about and his hands cup my cheeks and brushes away the tears.
“Do you really think Michael could go even a day without talking to you? You are literally everything to Michael. It’ll all be fine, just give him a little time to process what he’s feeling right now” Luke kisses my cheek as they all wave and walk past the gate.
What he’s feeling right now? What is Michael feeling? Does he feel regret? Shame? Does he feel something for me? The thought both scares and excites me. I’ve never really gave me and Michael a lot of thought cause we always made it so clear that we were not interested in each other and that we’re just best friends. But now that he kissed me, it’s a whole other story.
I type a quick text to Michael before I crawl back in bed to hopefully catch some sleep.
- I know you’re not really of a feelings talker but when you’re ready I’m here x
And with that I close my eyes and eventually get some hours of sleep until the buzzing of my phone wakes me up at 4pmIt’s a message from Michael. My finger hovers over the button to read it but I eventually press it.
- I need a bit of time to think, please? I want to skype you tonight but I’m not really feeling like talking yet. sorry x
At first I’m angry, but I get it. This isn’t just a normal thing that is easy to talk about, our friendship is on the line and I think neither of us is willing to lose it.
- Okay, just call me on skype when you have time x
I text back and open my laptop. I do some school work, finish some reading when the familiar tune of skype starts playing. My heart beats really fast as I press the answer button and Michael’s face pops up, he looks tired but he still manages to look handsome anyway.
“Hey” Michael smiles softly
“Hi” I almost whisper. This is probably the most awkward we’ve ever been.
“How is Europe?” I smile, trying to get this awkwardness to go away
“It’s great, it’s really pretty here! I’m really tired though” He answers and with that he jawns which makes me jawn too and he laughs.
“Isn’t it pretty late back home?” Michael asks
“Ehm yeah I guess” I check my phone to see the time, “It’s 1am” I shrug.
“And why are you awake again? You’ve been up since 4:30 or something” Michael says
“Hey, you said you would skype me so here I am alright?“ I chuckle
"Right” Michael mumbles and there’s an awkward pause again.
“Michael?” I whisper softly in which he hums quietly.
“I’m scared” I carry on whispering
"Me too” Michael sighs and he’s not looking at his screen anymore.
“I don’t want to lose you over this Michael” I can feel myself tear up.
“Lindy I can promise you that you won’t” He answers and he’s looking back at the screen, “as long as you still want me around I’ll be there”
“What does that even mean, Michael? I’m still so confused about everything that happened” I mumble
“I haven’t really made up my mind yet” Michael sighs, “I know things are hard right now but I promise I’ll try to talk about all of this as soon as I know what’s going on inside my head”
“Fine” I answer, “Promise me you’re going to kill the shows out there okay? You’re going to do great" I smile
“I’ll try my best” He smiles back
"Do you still want me to come visit in a couple of weeks?“ I ask, unsure if he still wants me to be around him.
"Of course I still want you here! But you should get some sleep, you look really tired”
“Wow, thanks for the compliment Michael” I laugh, “ but I could say the same thing about you”
“Goodnight Lindy, I’ll try to talk to you tomorrow okay?” Michael says and I nod
"Yeah talk to you soon, goodnight Michael” And the skype call ends.
As soon as I couldn’t see his face anymore, I missed him. I’m scared of what’s going to happen between us. Does Michael have feelings for me? But also do I have feelings for Michael? And if so, what was I going to do with these feelings when Michael doesn’t return them. Everything will change because of one kiss, No matter how silly it sounds. I’ve always found Michael attractive, he’s funny, he knows me inside out. He is always there for me.
What if I do really love Michael?
DUM DUM DUUUUM, I’m so excited about this! I hope whoever reads this that you’re enjoying it