and-promised-never-to-talk-about-it-again

Apologetic Starters
  • "I'm sorry."
  • "I want to fix this."
  • "I need you."
  • "Can we talk?"
  • "I owe you an apology."
  • "I shouldn't have lied."
  • "I really care about you."
  • "I feel like I can't breath when I think of you hating me."
  • "I was wrong."
  • "I know I shouldn't have..."
  • "I promise I'm going to make it up to you."
  • "It was my fault."
  • "Do you need some time?"
  • "I messed up."
  • "I'll never do it again."
  • "I know I wronged you but..."
  • "I just can't stand being without you."
  • "I didn't mean to hurt you."
mojave gothic
  • You’re five. You are here before the town is. The only thing that grows are tiny houses claiming land too harsh to be tamed. You’re eighteen, you’re leaving. You’re moving onto better things, you promise yourself you’ll never come back. You’re thirty nine. Somehow, you’ve returned. All the people you knew when you were a child you keep meeting again, they’ve returned too. You thought you had a bright future, you thought you could escape.

  • You overhear your father talk about how a former Miss Apple Valley was found burned to death in a Lucerne basement, by some cult, perhaps. Everyone who’s lived in the desert long enough has a story like that, your mother replies.

  • No matter where you turn the sun is always over your right shoulder, harsh, burning, glaring. Your shadow lies prone before you. When the winter comes and the sky is overcast, you feel more alone than you’d like to admit.

  • You drive to the north. It’s been hours. The only thing that lets you know that time is passing is the fact that you are more uneasy now than before. There are strange buildings nestled in the canyons with signs you cannot read; buildings of enormous white globes on spindly legs, domes with heavy rust and bright lights even in the day, ruins you can’t identify as a home. You can never tell anyone because what are they, and where are you, exactly? You drive to the north.

  • Your city friends tell you we’re in a drought. You think of the rain that leaves the ground more cracked and parched than before it fell, in your mind you see every dry arroyo you’ve ever trudged through. There’s always been a drought, you say. Your city friends nod but you know they don’t understand.

  • You see the Mojave as a road sports cars drive in commercials, as the place over which robots fly in the newest sci-fi action film. You see it as the backdrop of a movie about teens on a road trip. The local town hall wears the portraits of long dead celebrities with pride. You feel like in another reality this place is a film industry hub. You suspect that the reality you’re in has been abandoned.

  • The remains of another body have been found amongst the scrub and rocks. The desert is beautiful in the spring, it’s tempting to explore it, but you’re afraid that on a lone hike you’ll stumble upon remains of your own.

  • Mirages slip across the horizon, distorting the landscape. There’s dust on your shoes, in your mouth, in your skin. You feel the need to wash but you fear that perhaps you’ll scrub your whole self away. You’re part of the desert, and the desert will reclaim you. 
3

His head was higher than the helm of kings with heathen crowns, his heart keener and his soul clearer than swords of heroes polished and proven: than plated gold his worth was greater. From the world has passed a king peerless in peace and war, just in judgment, generous-handed as the golden lords of long ago. […] Of the friends of men first and noblest, to his hearth-comrades help unfailing, to his folk the fairest father of peoples. Glory loved he; now glory earning his grave shall be green, while ground or sea, while word or woe in the world lasteth.

Ever since I watched Markiplooper play Alien Isolation & I heard him mention how much he loves Mass Effect, I’ve had this idea!! Spongebob band-aid and mustache earpiece, he’s an Engineer and he is PERFECT.

Commander markiplier Shepard!!

For Markiplier, thank you so much for doing what you do, you are a good man and you have the biggest heart and your kindness renders me speechless!!

2

I saw some posts about #NoShameDay and I was very touched. Your stories are inspiring, tumblr! Here’s mine.

Nine years old, I almost bled out after a misdiagnosis. Apparently, I had a tumor in my mouth, not a pus sore. About half a year and ten operations later, I had a stroke during one operation which paralysed the left part of my body. I don’t remember waking up, but I remember the hospital me and my mum lived in for a year as I went from operation to operation. I learned to walk again, defying every ‘you will never be able to … again’ the doctors predicted. I would never feel parts of my body, I would never walk, never move my hand… now I know that’s doctors’ talk for not giving promises they cannot keep.

About half a year later, I went into a surgery about which my mother cried for weeks. I didn’t understand why she was crying; this was my final treatment. Fear hit me when they started wheeling me to the OR with a wheeled bed. I asked to take my toy with me and cried before the anaesthesia hit.

I woke up thirsty, I remember that. That was the end of my disease, I now had a clean jaw bone and ¾ of my teeth left. I went to my second grade graduation and continued with my class in the third. I could hardly move my left arm and couldn’t eat for the cafeteria because my mum was afraid other kids would laugh at me when my face was full of food. I still can’t feel part of my face but I eat with others often now. (They usually smile and tell me that there’s something on my face.) I started walking more every day and got less tired with each time. I remember that part of my physiotherapy was to ride a stationary bike, so they had to tie my hand to the handle because it wouldn’t stay up otherwise. 

I was very small, so for many years I thought the experience didn’t really affect me, especially when I got prosthetic teeth a few years ago. The more I talked to people and a therapist, the more I realised how much had been robbed from me. Since my hand moves now but has little motor skills, I can’t apply for any jobs for the summer with all my friends. As an exchange student, my host mother flat out admitted she wouldn’t have hosted me if she had known I had the disability. I can’t hold a ball or knit so I was always side-eyed in arts & crafts and gym class. I got the reputation of lazy and I tried to fit it because anything was better than the disabled girl. Boys in my class made grotesque faces to mock me when the teacher wasn’t watching. I did nothing but sit on the computer, lost in RPGs and books so I could pretend to be someone else. I didn’t have any confidence until I was 18 years old. You might have an idea how many times I’ve thought that no one would ever kiss a girl without teeth.

I’m nineteen now and I don’t talk about my disabilities. People notice, though, because I can’t hold two things at the same time and I type very fast with one hand. I tell them, ‘I once had a stroke and it left my left arm partly disabled.’ Nobody laughs at me anymore because I’m not ashamed. Fuck the fact I don’t have teeth, I can tie my shoes with one hand. Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for boosting my confidence, people of tumblr!

4

“My mom put me in dance class when I was a kid, I got into a lot of fights.”

Glee Kids Get Down Too

Okay, so Quinn had to admit that between getting pregnant sophomore year, and turning all punk-Fabray on the world between junior and senior year, well Quinn hadn’t been to a lot of parties lately!

Sure, the glee kids liked to talk a lot about parties, but the last time they actually threw one was forever ago. Yeah, Quinn somehow ended up drinking bloody marys in the hallways of McKinley the next day after that party. That was interesting to say the least. They had all promised Mr. Schue they’d never drink again, but come on, who were they kidding?

The hangover was definitely rough after Rachel’s party, but the way life was going right now? It was rougher. She could really use a redo, maybe with less anger thrown at Puck this time, and fast.

Luckily for Quinn, Kurt decided that a celebratory gathering to toot their own horns was needed. So there she was in Artie’s mom’s van, getting dropped off at the party. 

“Be safe, you two,” she smiled at the teenagers, wheeling them to the front door. She had no clue what they were about to get into, or maybe she did. Quinn smiled back – one of those wholesome smiles. They wheeled into the house and saw the rest of the glee kids already partying, greeting them accordingly.

First question on Quinn’s mind though, “Where’s Rachel?”

A Special Kind of Super Hero

Part 16

By the end of the day, the three had watched the rest of Firefly and the accompanying movie, Serenity. Liam checked Niall’s temperature again and ruffled his hair. “You’re almost back to normal.”

“’M never normal, what’re you talking about?” Niall giggled into Liam’s shoulder.

Shaking his head, Liam kissed Niall’s forehead and sighed, “I should head back to my room. I’ve got a couple of things to catch up on, now.”

Niall pouted. “Awwww.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So you watched the last outlander episode, I'd like to hear you opinion about of the thrashing scene ?

I think they did a great job with it, it was not meant to be good or romanticized but rather to show the difference between Claire coming from another time and Jamie who has a diffirent moral.

I’m not here to say it’s good and deserved or that Jamie is a wonderful man. I think they are both learning from each other and I find it interesting to see Jamie discussing what happened and how it is not something he wants to do ever again. He promises her so and Claire made him pay for it too. I’m not talking about her beating him but how this scene was never here to be romanticize or praised.

We have a situation where two morals are opposed: at that time it was considered to be justice and something that needed to be done. Claire told him what she thought of it and they both decided of the conclusion to make after it happened.

I’m in no way saying it was a wonderful scene, all I am saying is it’s interesting to have it discussed for it portrays two eras. I personally think they handled it quite well. 

“You taking me back to social services?” 

No. You’re never going there again. You can stay with me for as long as you like.  I’ve been watching you for quite a while. You have great potential, and I have a plan for you, Mr. Callen.” [Bold to note for timeline, which I’m sure will come up again.  Italics for creepiness.]

This really is just for my reference. I read a few things at a few different places that made me wonder if I heard what I heard.  And I did. We still don’t know how long Callen lived with her, but he definitely went judging by the look on his face. And I feel like this is going to be important before the season is over.  (I wonder if Kensi’s remembering her time as a sniper in “Field of Fire” features Hetty.)

Moving on: 

Frank Military still doesn’t like Joelle. Or the IA investigation. However, everyone was on their professional A Game, the acting was superb all-around, and there was a lot going on.  And Agent Rand can come back. (Please.) 

Also, at this point, I won’t be surprised if “Field of Fire” moves from the rooftops into a tunnel. And then the second-to-last episode of the season takes place in the tunnel. And then the finale is about the team’s getting out of the tunnel. Like I said, I think the “mole” boss is going to be an actual mole. (You can’t have tunnels where I live. You can’t even have basements or storm cellars. Criminals this season would be in a pickle.)

hi all, i wanna take another short commercial break from my typical negative posts (which i kinda wanna apologize for, i know it probably scares people off of actually talking to me, it’s just very hard for me to control my emotions, thoughts, and actions right now. i promise i can have a good laugh, reblog a pepe comic, post about positive experiences, and i have, and maybe soon i will again) & i wanna say thank u to everyone who’s been helping me out, whether it’s just reblogging posts pertaining to him and the abuse/manipulation or sending me messages that gave me some peace; even if i never wrote back to you, it touched me.

violentfemmeboy

fizzylimon

chateauofadoubt

otterlovers4ever (and I just read your own post, incredibly brave of you, lady (: )

feministdickjokes

kellyandcake

parsamend

thejealousone

hopeonatenspeed

pjcalamity.tumblr.com (sorry the tag thing stopped working!)

and special shoutouts to whattravissays.tumblr.com & effnotravis.tumblr.com for starting such amazing blogs, as well.

and the list goes on. You all move me to happy tears every single day. You guys have a great impact on myself, and having your support has helped me stay afloat. I do not feel so alone when I log on and see you all telling your own experiences and, in a way, going through this tough time in my life with me. I love you all so much, even if we’ve hardly talked before this is all i was asking for when i was (and unfortunately am once again) at my lowest point. i wish i could meet all of you and just say thank you over and over again & give u all hugs (if ur a hugger, and if not, i understand bc im not always much of a hugger either). I wish you all the best in life, I wish for you all to achieve your dreams, I wish for you all to recover from things that haunt you so you can live for years with the weight off your shoulders, I wish you all long, happy, healthy lives. thank you all.

I had to end up responding to Pecas because she started to get worried– I received two text messages and calls back-to-back.

I’m still a bit–disappointed, I’d say–in her. I also updated her on my incident last night, with a drunk dude stumbling into my room and telling me repeatedly how much he wanted to fuck me… 😤

Guys are gross. But Pecas didn’t seem /too/ worried about it. & since I told her by text message I have no idea how she felt.

9/30:

the first time he hit me, it was
completely forgettable– just
another in a series of events
leading me to believe i deserved
what i got. but i do remember
the last time he hit me– how
the roadway i ran across
choked out a truck that missed
me only to give up my cheek
to the crush of his fist– i
promised myself i’d never
let anyone touch me like that
again. so the first time
i liked the feeling of being
hurt, i hated myself. what kind
of survivor begs for bleed,
for bite? for the clenched
surprise, for the wanton
spread of pain, how every
time i am choked wide open
it feels like the first great
gasp of self– when i talk
about this, i am greeted by
shock. as if by “abuse,”
they pictured me as a box
full of bones, all dry and
break. as if i am not allowed
to writhe, as if i have been
ruined by a pair of hands
i did not even ask for– i
promised myself i would learn
to love the church burning in
my chest, and this is how i do
that. by doing unholy things
with people who taste like
gods; by the sacrifice of my
alter to whatever hands i want
to teach me brand new ache;
this is not the last time i will
take back my own writhe.

anonymous asked:

What was your first reaction upon seeing Ventuswill?

When I first met Lady Ventuswill, I was TERRIFIED. Back in my home town people spoke of her in such high ways that as a child I just assumed she was to be feared, after I got to Selphia and everyone talked about her like she was, well a Native Dragon, and not a friend, I was even more scared. When I first walked in, just joining Volkanon’s class, I remember almost crying I was so scared.

But she was kind, and gentle… After she met me, she just made me promise to never speak of her kindness again, it was our secret. I will always treasure this memory!

My little siblings back at home still can’t believe I work for a dragon!

anonymous asked:

I have a question; and I hope this doesn't come of as rude. Why William Defoe for Hyde? In the book doesn't Stevenson talk about how Hyde looks much younger and more vibrant than Jekyll? Defoe seems to look much older than your Jekyll. Again, this isn't meant to sound mean but I am honestly curious why you chose him for the face claim. I am eager to understand it.

no, no worries !!  i don’t take it as rude at all. and i hope dafoe fans won’t take what i have to say as rude, because i’m going to be pretty blunt here: willem dafoe was the only one who was frightening enough in appearance. hollywood likes to use perfect male models in films, and it’s really rare to find someone who even looks average, let alone ugly. and i mean – there are some ugly actors, but very few of them are unsettling the way dafoe is. he’s just… got a bit of a scary face. and that’s what i really wanted for hyde. i wanted a face claim that would give that sense of ‘something’s not right with this face’; not because he was covered in blood or looking manic or scarred up, but because the features just seemed a bit off for a reason you couldn’t put your finger on. age was important, too, as the age difference between hyde and jekyll plays a huge role in the story, but i’d rather have an unattractive actor who looks older than i’d like as opposed to an actor who’s the right age but looks like he walked out of a calvin klein photoshoot. you just don’t find actors very often who look as odd and unsettling as dafoe does. and again, i hope dafoe fans don’t take too much offense from me saying that !!  he’s a wonderful, wonderful actor, but to me, he just looks rather frightening, and that’s what i was going for as hyde. it would have been great to find someone who had the same sort of unsettling features and happened to be younger, but it just wasn’t something i could find. 

i hope that answers your question !!

anonymous asked:

A friend of mine has been depressed since November. I tried to help him, but he was dragging me down with him. I agreed to talk to a school counselor with a mutual friend. The session felt very rushed and didn't make me feel better. The counselor promised to notify my depressed friends counselor about everything, and have the counselor check in with my friend. Nothing has happened yet, and I am afraid my friend's going to hurt himself and it's going to be all my fault for not helping him more.

It’s never your fault, no matter what happens. Please notify the counselor again or if you can trust them, your friend’s family. Remind your friend that they’re not alone and that you’re there for them. If they start seeming more depressed or suicidal, please urge them to call a hotline or call authorities for them. Stay strong.

5

so I met my best friend yesterday. she lives in portugal, I live in england. we have been best friends for over a year and we used to always talk about how we would meet when we’re older and can save up money to get a flight to each other’s country. we used to even talk about running away together and getting a flat together and I still wish we could. she drove from london to see me for a few hours and even thought it wasn’t long, it was one of the best days of my life. I have never loved anyone as much as I love her she’s the best person ever and we’re gonna be friends forever, I promise you that. I already miss her with all my heart but I hope I meet her again in the near future. I love you.