and-promised-never-to-talk-about-it-again

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I saw some posts about #NoShameDay and I was very touched. Your stories are inspiring, tumblr! Here’s mine.

Nine years old, I almost bled out after a misdiagnosis. Apparently, I had a tumor in my mouth, not a pus sore. About half a year and ten operations later, I had a stroke during one operation which paralysed the left part of my body. I don’t remember waking up, but I remember the hospital me and my mum lived in for a year as I went from operation to operation. I learned to walk again, defying every ‘you will never be able to … again’ the doctors predicted. I would never feel parts of my body, I would never walk, never move my hand… now I know that’s doctors’ talk for not giving promises they cannot keep.

About half a year later, I went into a surgery about which my mother cried for weeks. I didn’t understand why she was crying; this was my final treatment. Fear hit me when they started wheeling me to the OR with a wheeled bed. I asked to take my toy with me and cried before the anaesthesia hit.

I woke up thirsty, I remember that. That was the end of my disease, I now had a clean jaw bone and ¾ of my teeth left. I went to my second grade graduation and continued with my class in the third. I could hardly move my left arm and couldn’t eat for the cafeteria because my mum was afraid other kids would laugh at me when my face was full of food. I still can’t feel part of my face but I eat with others often now. (They usually smile and tell me that there’s something on my face.) I started walking more every day and got less tired with each time. I remember that part of my physiotherapy was to ride a stationary bike, so they had to tie my hand to the handle because it wouldn’t stay up otherwise. 

I was very small, so for many years I thought the experience didn’t really affect me, especially when I got prosthetic teeth a few years ago. The more I talked to people and a therapist, the more I realised how much had been robbed from me. Since my hand moves now but has little motor skills, I can’t apply for any jobs for the summer with all my friends. As an exchange student, my host mother flat out admitted she wouldn’t have hosted me if she had known I had the disability. I can’t hold a ball or knit so I was always side-eyed in arts & crafts and gym class. I got the reputation of lazy and I tried to fit it because anything was better than the disabled girl. Boys in my class made grotesque faces to mock me when the teacher wasn’t watching. I did nothing but sit on the computer, lost in RPGs and books so I could pretend to be someone else. I didn’t have any confidence until I was 18 years old. You might have an idea how many times I’ve thought that no one would ever kiss a girl without teeth.

I’m nineteen now and I don’t talk about my disabilities. People notice, though, because I can’t hold two things at the same time and I type very fast with one hand. I tell them, ‘I once had a stroke and it left my left arm partly disabled.’ Nobody laughs at me anymore because I’m not ashamed. Fuck the fact I don’t have teeth, I can tie my shoes with one hand. Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for boosting my confidence, people of tumblr!

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His head was higher than the helm of kings with heathen crowns, his heart keener and his soul clearer than swords of heroes polished and proven: than plated gold his worth was greater. From the world has passed a king peerless in peace and war, just in judgment, generous-handed as the golden lords of long ago. […] Of the friends of men first and noblest, to his hearth-comrades help unfailing, to his folk the fairest father of peoples. Glory loved he; now glory earning his grave shall be green, while ground or sea, while word or woe in the world lasteth.

Ever since I watched Markiplooper play Alien Isolation & I heard him mention how much he loves Mass Effect, I’ve had this idea!! Spongebob band-aid and mustache earpiece, he’s an Engineer and he is PERFECT.

Commander markiplier Shepard!!

For Markiplier, thank you so much for doing what you do, you are a good man and you have the biggest heart and your kindness renders me speechless!!

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“My mom put me in dance class when I was a kid, I got into a lot of fights.”

Glee Kids Get Down Too

Okay, so Quinn had to admit that between getting pregnant sophomore year, and turning all punk-Fabray on the world between junior and senior year, well Quinn hadn’t been to a lot of parties lately!

Sure, the glee kids liked to talk a lot about parties, but the last time they actually threw one was forever ago. Yeah, Quinn somehow ended up drinking bloody marys in the hallways of McKinley the next day after that party. That was interesting to say the least. They had all promised Mr. Schue they’d never drink again, but come on, who were they kidding?

The hangover was definitely rough after Rachel’s party, but the way life was going right now? It was rougher. She could really use a redo, maybe with less anger thrown at Puck this time, and fast.

Luckily for Quinn, Kurt decided that a celebratory gathering to toot their own horns was needed. So there she was in Artie’s mom’s van, getting dropped off at the party. 

“Be safe, you two,” she smiled at the teenagers, wheeling them to the front door. She had no clue what they were about to get into, or maybe she did. Quinn smiled back – one of those wholesome smiles. They wheeled into the house and saw the rest of the glee kids already partying, greeting them accordingly.

First question on Quinn’s mind though, “Where’s Rachel?”

A Special Kind of Super Hero

Part 16

By the end of the day, the three had watched the rest of Firefly and the accompanying movie, Serenity. Liam checked Niall’s temperature again and ruffled his hair. “You’re almost back to normal.”

“’M never normal, what’re you talking about?” Niall giggled into Liam’s shoulder.

Shaking his head, Liam kissed Niall’s forehead and sighed, “I should head back to my room. I’ve got a couple of things to catch up on, now.”

Niall pouted. “Awwww.”

Keep reading

“You taking me back to social services?” 

No. You’re never going there again. You can stay with me for as long as you like.  I’ve been watching you for quite a while. You have great potential, and I have a plan for you, Mr. Callen.” [Bold to note for timeline, which I’m sure will come up again.  Italics for creepiness.]

This really is just for my reference. I read a few things at a few different places that made me wonder if I heard what I heard.  And I did. We still don’t know how long Callen lived with her, but he definitely went judging by the look on his face. And I feel like this is going to be important before the season is over.  (I wonder if Kensi’s remembering her time as a sniper in “Field of Fire” features Hetty.)

Moving on: 

Frank Military still doesn’t like Joelle. Or the IA investigation. However, everyone was on their professional A Game, the acting was superb all-around, and there was a lot going on.  And Agent Rand can come back. (Please.) 

Also, at this point, I won’t be surprised if “Field of Fire” moves from the rooftops into a tunnel. And then the second-to-last episode of the season takes place in the tunnel. And then the finale is about the team’s getting out of the tunnel. Like I said, I think the “mole” boss is going to be an actual mole. (You can’t have tunnels where I live. You can’t even have basements or storm cellars. Criminals this season would be in a pickle.)

anonymous asked:

So you watched the last outlander episode, I'd like to hear you opinion about of the thrashing scene ?

I think they did a great job with it, it was not meant to be good or romanticized but rather to show the difference between Claire coming from another time and Jamie who has a diffirent moral.

I’m not here to say it’s good and deserved or that Jamie is a wonderful man. I think they are both learning from each other and I find it interesting to see Jamie discussing what happened and how it is not something he wants to do ever again. He promises her so and Claire made him pay for it too. I’m not talking about her beating him but how this scene was never here to be romanticize or praised.

We have a situation where two morals are opposed: at that time it was considered to be justice and something that needed to be done. Claire told him what she thought of it and they both decided of the conclusion to make after it happened.

I’m in no way saying it was a wonderful scene, all I am saying is it’s interesting to have it discussed for it portrays two eras. I personally think they handled it quite well. 

I had to end up responding to Pecas because she started to get worried– I received two text messages and calls back-to-back.

I’m still a bit–disappointed, I’d say–in her. I also updated her on my incident last night, with a drunk dude stumbling into my room and telling me repeatedly how much he wanted to fuck me… 😤

Guys are gross. But Pecas didn’t seem /too/ worried about it. & since I told her by text message I have no idea how she felt.

9/30:

the first time he hit me, it was
completely forgettable– just
another in a series of events
leading me to believe i deserved
what i got. but i do remember
the last time he hit me– how
the roadway i ran across
choked out a truck that missed
me only to give up my cheek
to the crush of his fist– i
promised myself i’d never
let anyone touch me like that
again. so the first time
i liked the feeling of being
hurt, i hated myself. what kind
of survivor begs for bleed,
for bite? for the clenched
surprise, for the wanton
spread of pain, how every
time i am choked wide open
it feels like the first great
gasp of self– when i talk
about this, i am greeted by
shock. as if by “abuse,”
they pictured me as a box
full of bones, all dry and
break. as if i am not allowed
to writhe, as if i have been
ruined by a pair of hands
i did not even ask for– i
promised myself i would learn
to love the church burning in
my chest, and this is how i do
that. by doing unholy things
with people who taste like
gods; by the sacrifice of my
alter to whatever hands i want
to teach me brand new ache;
this is not the last time i will
take back my own writhe.

anonymous asked:

I have a question; and I hope this doesn't come of as rude. Why William Defoe for Hyde? In the book doesn't Stevenson talk about how Hyde looks much younger and more vibrant than Jekyll? Defoe seems to look much older than your Jekyll. Again, this isn't meant to sound mean but I am honestly curious why you chose him for the face claim. I am eager to understand it.

no, no worries !!  i don’t take it as rude at all. and i hope dafoe fans won’t take what i have to say as rude, because i’m going to be pretty blunt here: willem dafoe was the only one who was frightening enough in appearance. hollywood likes to use perfect male models in films, and it’s really rare to find someone who even looks average, let alone ugly. and i mean – there are some ugly actors, but very few of them are unsettling the way dafoe is. he’s just… got a bit of a scary face. and that’s what i really wanted for hyde. i wanted a face claim that would give that sense of ‘something’s not right with this face’; not because he was covered in blood or looking manic or scarred up, but because the features just seemed a bit off for a reason you couldn’t put your finger on. age was important, too, as the age difference between hyde and jekyll plays a huge role in the story, but i’d rather have an unattractive actor who looks older than i’d like as opposed to an actor who’s the right age but looks like he walked out of a calvin klein photoshoot. you just don’t find actors very often who look as odd and unsettling as dafoe does. and again, i hope dafoe fans don’t take too much offense from me saying that !!  he’s a wonderful, wonderful actor, but to me, he just looks rather frightening, and that’s what i was going for as hyde. it would have been great to find someone who had the same sort of unsettling features and happened to be younger, but it just wasn’t something i could find. 

i hope that answers your question !!

anonymous asked:

What was your first reaction upon seeing Ventuswill?

When I first met Lady Ventuswill, I was TERRIFIED. Back in my home town people spoke of her in such high ways that as a child I just assumed she was to be feared, after I got to Selphia and everyone talked about her like she was, well a Native Dragon, and not a friend, I was even more scared. When I first walked in, just joining Volkanon’s class, I remember almost crying I was so scared.

But she was kind, and gentle… After she met me, she just made me promise to never speak of her kindness again, it was our secret. I will always treasure this memory!

My little siblings back at home still can’t believe I work for a dragon!

anonymous asked:

A friend of mine has been depressed since November. I tried to help him, but he was dragging me down with him. I agreed to talk to a school counselor with a mutual friend. The session felt very rushed and didn't make me feel better. The counselor promised to notify my depressed friends counselor about everything, and have the counselor check in with my friend. Nothing has happened yet, and I am afraid my friend's going to hurt himself and it's going to be all my fault for not helping him more.

It’s never your fault, no matter what happens. Please notify the counselor again or if you can trust them, your friend’s family. Remind your friend that they’re not alone and that you’re there for them. If they start seeming more depressed or suicidal, please urge them to call a hotline or call authorities for them. Stay strong.

I dreamed

I was finally in what was supposed to be a very effective and healing therapy with a group of other people. Part of the process was taking a hallucinogenic and having one of the therapists guide me through it, something super helpful for working out deep problems. I take the stuff, I see the colors on a piece of paper shift a little, so I lay down. Then nothing. The rest of the group sits around talking loudly about random plans for the weekend while I’m struggling to get in the right state of mind to help myself and nothing. At most I’m slightly aware of the feelings and motives behind what they’re saying, but still blind about myself. Then I feel it wear off and I sit up and the therapist says we might try again toward the end of the three weeks but makes no promises and I feel super brushed off and like I’ll never get better.

It sucked. :/

if you’re going to be reckless enough to tell me to be mature but then talk shit behind my back, don’t do it around my friends. I promise you they will tell me. so when you accuse me of being the fifth grader, I’d like to make it perfectly clear that I heard from 4 different people today that you couldn’t stop talking about how “appalled” you are at me.
and no matter what you do, I’m going to be the bigger person because I have a loving group of friends that won’t let me do anything else. So, again I say to you, let me know what happens when your relationship is over bud, because it will never be half as good as what I have.

addiedolohov asked:

Dear Frank

Frank,

I don’t….I can’t… It’s hard to find the words without getting irrationally angry, and somehow I know you’ll understand.

But he reached out to me. I’ve found him. I know exactly where he is, yet I have no idea what I want to do with the information.

He wants to meet, and as I promised, you are the first to hear about this. I’m not sure what I want to do to him yet, if anything, but I think that you and I could come up with a few ideas.

I know that we talked about this months ago, and I said he was dead to me. But hearing from the dead has a funny way of throwing your world into chaos. I haven’t told her. She’s sitting in the nursery with Lena, and I don’t want to tell her. This is one secret she can never know. She’s finally happy again, and I don’t want to hurt her.

But I’m not sure if that’s the right thing to do, and I…

I need your help.

I don’t know what to do, but I know that you care for her, and that you know how this would upset her. I need to meet with you. I’ll bring his missive. 

I’ll be waiting to hear from you. Please do hurry.