and-how-all-my-friends-probably-like-each-other-better-than-me

i don't know how much longer i can “play nice”

i think its safe to say we know each other better than anyone else. you know all my secrets, all my scars and bruises. the way my nose crinkles when i don’t like something. the way i smile when i have a plan that you’re probably just gonna laugh off because we both know its ridiculous. i know all your secrets, all your freckles and moles. the look you give me when I’ve been talking too much and you just want to kiss me. the way you look in my bed. i think its safe to say that we know each other better than our own friends and family. 

we both know i’m protective. i’m the girl that people say “if you’re on her good side, she’d take a bullet for you. if you’re on her shit list, she’s shooting the bullet at you” and the accuracy in that statement is impeccable. especially when it comes to you. you are my person. nobody gets to have you the way i do (in a non-psycho way, i pinky promise).

and the second he gets to bring somebody around thats full of negativity, gossip and a group of friends that had nothing better to do in the last four years than focus on my life, thats when i turn into that girl with the gun. my shield goes straight up. nobody gets to have you the way i do (this time can be slightly psycho). 

she shouldn’t get to see us together. she shouldn’t get to know all my secrets. she shouldn’t get to know my subtle reactions to things i hate, including her. she shouldn’t get to know the way we whisper when we wake up in the morning. she shouldn’t get to collect all the information about us so she can run back to her pathetic life and have something substantial for her and her friends to talk about over dinner on friday nights. 

so yes, i’m a little upset about this, and the people in your life. because for the last 5 years, they’ve been in my life too. the thing is, you’re so much more than them. i know it, i see it, you should know it. you don’t deserve to be dragged down by somebody that ca’t stop living in the past. i know you think i’m being overdramatic, but god it just makes my blood boil.

i know it has to make yours too.