and-I-was-really-shocked

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           Patient debrief: John Constantine

Intake interview proved extremely brief this person was committed to his own volition. He’s a chainsmoker with a history of violence [so a real charming gentleman]. He’s self-loathing banterism is insufferable. [A real corker for me now is] apparent schizophrenia that seems to be untreated most of his life, so he has developed an entire language and hierarchy for it as a coping mechanism. He talks with complete clarity about demons, angels, monsters and possessions...
       [Must be scary... living in a head like that...]

Exo reaction when their daughter had her first period and they have to explain to her what is happening

Sehun:*after he tries to talk with his daughter* “I don’t need you to tell me that, I already found out on my own. We have a thing called internet you know?” *girl voice mocking his daughter*

Kai:*after his sister explained it him* Do I really have to tell her that? all of that? how am I gonna tell her that? I’m shocked even myself 

Tao: *starts the talk really smoothly trying to make his point but…” 

Daughter: Don’t worry dad, you don’t have to do this anymore, w talked at school about this.

Kyungsoo:*gets ready for his big speech but no words came out* Okay, how do I start this……

Chanyeol:*googles it to see what he should should tell her* Omg my poor baby, she will be having these immense pains like it says here………..

Chen: In moments like this I wish I had a boy. Erections are way more simple than periods

Baekhyun:*explains it all in one go* Now do you have any questions?

Lay:*gets shocked when he calls his mom to tell him what is happening with his baby*

Suho:*awkward suho making it all even more awkward* So, I saw that your period came….that’s good…but we need to talk….

Kris: Oh god, I have to buy her pads from now. I never bought pads in life, how should I know which one are the good ones?

Luhan: Why do I have to tell her? I’m a guy, I don’t know anything about this…

Xiumin: *when he asked the guys for advice * 

Sehun: You better hurry up and buy her some pads until she will bleed all over the house.

Can’t you just shut up and do something constructive instead of annoying me.

anonymous asked:

akaashi, tsukki, and ushijima seeing their s/o mope around after realising that "they arent good enough" for the boys?

Akaashi and you were just sitting on the couch, watching a show when he felt you begin to shake. “_____? What’s wrong? Did i do something?”

“No, it’s not you,” You said, realizing you were crying and wiping away a couple tears. “It’s just that I’m not good enough for you.”

He was shocked. “Not good enough?”

“I’m really not. You’re so kind and patient, I don’t deserve you.”

“That’s ridiculous.” You opened your mouth to speak but he stopped you with a shake of his head. “Honestly I’ve never heard something so dumb, and Bokuto is on my team.” You laughed a bit at that and let your head fall against his chest. “I’m nothing special, but you are. You make me so happy, your smile can fix anything and nothing can compare to how you make me feel.”


Tsukki saw you moping around and just figured you had a bad day. So he did what he usually did, pulled you in for a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. But you slapped him away. This must be more serious…

“What’s the matter?” He asked, rubbing the hand you had just hit.

You burrowed deeper into his hoodie you had borrowed and looked away from him, “I’m not good enough for you.”

“Huh?” 

“I said I’m not good enough for you! I don’t deserve you.” You yelled, feeling yourself begin to tear up. 

He flicked your forehead.

“Pathetic.” He sneered and you really did start to cry. He grabbed your hand. “It’s pathetic that you think that. When i introduce you as my partner and someone says ‘really?’ Its not because they don’t think you’re good enough. They’re genuinely confused that you like me. I mean, I’m an ass. I’m a sarcastic ass who fell in love with someone way out of his league. Every time you come to my practice, I have to physically hold Tanaka and Noya back so they don’t tell you how out of my league you are. You’re way too good for me, and I love you. Isn’t that enough?”


Ushijima met up with you after his match and pulled you into a hug. He smelled a bit like sweat but mostly his natural earthy smell. You sighed when he pulled away, suddenly looking insecure. 

“Is something wrong?” He asked.

“No, it’s nothing. Congratulations on the win.” You tried to smile but felt your lip quiver. I won’t cry here. You told yourself

“Hey, I might not be good at picking up on things, but something is off. What’s wrong.”

“I’m not good enough for you Waka. I love you but I’m not good enough.”

“That’s stupid,” He said, grabbing your hand “I’m not impresive anyways.”

“You’re not impressive? You’re the number one ace!” You said, exasperated.

“But you’re my ace.” He cupped your chin in his hand. “I love you, you’re the most important thing in my life, that makes you way better than I ever could be. You’re good enough, ______.” 

I would like to thank you ahead of time for 10k follows!! This is really big in a sense oh wow I’m so shocked my small little baby grew up oh man I am a proud birb.

Truely though we couldn’t do it without you thank you so much!!!

I apologise for inactivity. I’ve been a bit busy lately!

There’s something about this latest upd8 that just isn’t sitting well with me and I think I’ve finally put my finger on why it just feels so “off.“

This timeline feels like a fanfic – or an homage to a fanfic.

Vriska hits all of the main points of a traditional Mary Sue. I know that’s a loaded phrase these days, but I’ve been in fandom long enough to remember the original traits associated with a Sue: she joins a cast she doesn’t belong in, solves all of their problems, is soooooooo cool, takes over important roles other people should have had, and saves the day.

She steals the spotlight at the cost of the other characters, essentially.

Then Davekat becomes canon. Don’t get me wrong, I ship the hell out of Davekat, but I’m… really, genuinely shocked that it would go anywhere close to canon. Especially when it comes from taking Terezi out of the equation. (Two boys minus one girl equals instant yaoi? Yikes, I’ve heard that one before.)

I just can’t buy that Davekat would have happened without the influence of it being one of the most popular ships in the fandom right now. Homestuck does adjust according to fandom, but Johndave never happened when it was at its heyday, so what gave Davekat the green light?

Plus this upd8 was just weirdly lighthearted in general, in a way Homestuck usually isn’t. It solves major character arcs, like Rose’s alcoholism and Terezi’s toxic relationship, with the wave of a couple of panels.

Basically everything has been repurposed and retconned by an outside force in the way FANS would want it to go. It’s happier, almost everyone’s problems are fixed easily, Vriska gets to be the big hero, yaoi happened… It’s what a large chunk of fandom wants, yet it just feels hollow and odd in practice.

And I’m betting that’s on purpose. I’m betting the story is intentionally mirroring what fandom wants more than usual and fashioning itself into a canon fanfic ‘verse.

Because what if this is the timeline that gives birth to Alternate Calliope, the Calliope who overcomes her brother and becomes a full-fledged Muse of Space?

What if Calliope comes into her full power in the timeline that’s essentially following the formula of a fanwork?

princess-erudite asked:

Hi okay its me how are you I just finished the finale what do I do with life I'm so not okay. Help ahhh I'm really in shock and I'm freaking out fanfiction. Give me fanfiction thanks xx

Hiiii I’m great but if you just finished the finale… I’m sorry D:

There’s a lot of Bellarke fanfics here (There’s Percabeth too and maybe other things but just ignore those)

And I loved these ones (there’s other but I took the first one I thought of):

I used to think the glimpses of the real Louis I could see through the cracks of the fake narrative were enough to help me get a general idea about how amazing he really was, but these last few weeks have proven me wrong. He’s exceeded all my expectations, I’m about to burst with love and admiration - and you guys know me, I already had plenty of that before. All these small things have always been there, we’ve seen them here and there, but seeing him expressing himself freely lately has truly shocked me. I don’t think I have ever really noticed how much control they had over him and how much he held back until I’ve seen him act more like himself, I knew all that stuff and I could see the effects but it hasn’t hit me in full force until now. 

He was already this trained shell when I joined this fandom and I’ve seen videos of 2010-2012!Louis but I think I’ve never been able to link those two people, not really, and I didn’t even notice until now. Seeing how healthy and relaxed and happy he is and watching him interact with fans, laughing and chatting with them, hanging out with his friends and showing his excitement on the social media. We’re only scraping the surface of his freedom and he’s already an excited force full of energy and great ideas, full of charm and loyalty and sarcasm. You have no idea how happy this makes me, how proud I am, he has been through hell and back but it wasn’t enough to break him. I thought I was ready to see the real Louis but turns out I knew nothing, he’s even more amazing than I thought. 

Just when you think you couldn’t love him more, he goes and breaks your expectations - I know we’re witnessing a very carefully crafted strategy to push his image but he looks so good and happy and real. It’s blinding, he truly is the sun. I can’t wait to see what else he has in store for us.

hey inkskinned, i know this is a little weird but i wanted to give you a shoutout because two nights ago i was getting a ride home from a boy in my class and when i thanked him he jokingly said “you can just give me a blowjob per ride” and I was so shocked i didn’t really get to say anything, just kind of laughed nervously and got the hell out of there but i remembered all of the poems you wrote and emma watson’s UN speech and i was like “you know what i’m not taking this shit” so this morning I went on your feminism tag and got all powered up and ignored him the entire day at school, and when a classmate asked why i was so mad at him i said “one day you’re gonna wake up and you’re gonna have a daughter and you’re gonna realize that you live in a world where jokes like that are still being cracked and that’s not okay” and those are actually modified words from one of your poems and i guess i just wanted to say thank you for giving me the words to speak when I had none - i felt like a kickass princess riding her fiery dragon going to save myself just like the ones you always write about and i’m so proud i might cry because i’ve always felt like girls are supposed to forget about things like this but i’m never going to let anyone push me down ever again and i just wanted to say thank you

in b4 Caliborn smashes the claykids flat and people try to predict endgame ships based on who got squished together

*checking Tumblr. 3:20 am*
Okay, let’s go on my home page

Wait … No way

LET ME HUG YOU. ALL OF 15,008 !!!
I HAVE NO WORDS

THANK YOU <3
YOU HAVE NOOO IDEA HOW I’M SHOCKED. I NEED SOMEONE. SOMEONE REALLY LIKES MY BLOG. SOMEONE LIKES ME.
N-n-n-noo, this is too much for me, I never felt important, it’s my the biggest downside.
But I’m a little bit okay. :’)

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when ur ambiguously ethnic 

My 12-year-old Niece: *talking to me about how much she loves Hetalia* I like all of the characters, and I have so many ships! I like Aushun, Gerita-

Me: Wait, wait… You like Gerita?

Her: *confused* Yeah.

Me: It doesn’t bother you that they’re both guys?

Her: No.

Me: *shocked*  Really?

Her: Yeah. I mean, how is Germany and Italy’s love any different from Austria and Hungary’s?

Me:

Me: *sheds tears of pride*

You know what is the saddest thing about Derek dying....

That even secondary characters like Denny and Henry had a better send offf than the had :(The way he died, because of the incompetence of some morons, was just stupid, anticlimactic and so cliche. If you have to kill off the character you have spent 11 years building up, at least do it with some class and style. 

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If you didn’t get a chance to buy the super limited Killua charm from yesterday, here’s a second chance!! Sort of!!! I was really shocked that he sold out under 3 hours, thank you so much!! ;__;

This time Killua has a blue and white outline, along with Gon who has a lime and white outline, and they’re a matching pair just like from here!!

These Gon and Killua charms will be super limited with a stock of 9 of each!! After that, they won’t be reprinted anymore!

You can either buy them as a set, or individually, here!! (click on the drop down menu!!)

Again, this isn’t really related to anything but you can hook things onto Gon’s boots easily too anD

///////TWO WHOL LINE OF KILLUGONS//////