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La Revolution Charmeuse

Or: That One Lady Who Gets Lucky During The Entire Movie

  • *when watching show*:my bby someone needs to wrap a blanket around you and take care of you forever dont touch them! !!1!!
  • *when writing fanfic*:I'm going to break you (¤3¤)

nightshadezombie sorulan:

In Chain of Custody, there was a really sweet scene when Natasha met Amy and Amy said "I like your hair. Mine goes everywhere." and Nat says "Mine used to go everywhere, too." Can we please have a scene where Nat sits Amy down on the kitchen counter with a bunch of product and and a dad on either side and says "okay guys, this is how we make it all go the same-ish direction". Maybe she gives a few braiding lessons as well? Thanks!

“Is it really called ‘dancing detangler?’” Tony asks, and Natasha glares at him.

Generally, Natasha adheres to a strict non-interference policy with other people’s children. After all, she’s not the person feeding, clothing, bathing, and comforting them all hours of the day and night; her opinion on their upbringing is therefore none of her damn business.

But it’s spring break at Amy’s school, and for the last four days, she’s arrived at the office with her hair looking like a dark brown rat’s nest.

Natasha’s no bleeding heart, but no little girl deserves to look like she was assaulted in the night by a very vindictive teasing comb.

The fact that she marched off to Walgreens and bought one of each detangler and kid’s conditioner on the shelf, well. It’s not like anyone else was going to do it.

“Some of these are conditioner and detangler in one,” she explains as she sorts the bottles into two very neat columns. Tony tries to steal one, and she smacks him on the hand. “With the others, you could probably keep using her conditioner, but it might make her hair greasy.” She glances over at Amy, who’s staring with wide eyes. “I don’t think her hair’s necessarily coarse, just thick and curly. Any one of these will probably do the trick.”

Bruce frowns. “Should we have been using conditioner on her hair all along?”

Natasha blinks at him. “You mean you’re not?”

“If we lie about it, can we get out of this conversation?” Tony asks.

“No.”

“Then no. We’re not.” He pauses. “Except for that one time we ran out of her shampoo and used the two-in-one stuff from our bathroom, but—”

Natasha sighs. It’s not a small sigh; it’s a sigh that could probably move mountains even larger than Bruce and Tony’s collective hair-treatment ignorance. “On second thought,” she says, “let’s start at the beginning.”

capt-amy-rogers sorulan:

Once you get this you have to say 5 things you like about yourself, publicly, then send this to ten of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) ❤

ok!

1. i can say nice things about myself, which is a hard-won skill tbh

2. i am funny 

3. the way i dress

4. im honest about most things that i am aware enough to be honest about 

5. i am good at making food

anonim sorulan:

MPU: Bruce helping Amy with her lines and/or costume for a school play.

“My name is Mercury, small and fast,” Amy recites—and then, she freezes.

The first grade program—for teachers, parents, and “others,” a label that’d caused Tony to sneer and roll his eyes—is in three days, and every time they rehearse, Amy panics. She’s standing in the middle of the home office right now, her eyes wide and spooked as she searches for the words. Bruce stops hot-gluing the Styrofoam ball that will be a tiny Mercury to her headband and smiles. “You know this,” he says encouragingly.

Amy’s throat bobs. “My name is Mercury,” she starts over, her voice shakier than before, “small and fast. I’m—” She frowns, her whole face crumpling. “I’m—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bruce says, and he abandons the arts-and-crafts part of the outfit your child for the play requirement to come over and kneel in front of Amy. Her lower lip’s starting to quiver, so he brushes hair out of her face. She pulls in a damp, brave breath, and he smiles at her. “You’ve practiced these lines a hundred times. With me, with Miles, with Tony—”

Amy wrinkles her nose. “Tony reads the sun’s lines in a dumb voice.”

Bruce grins. “Some people might just call that his voice,” he teases, and she giggles. He smoothes his thumb along her hairline. “You know this,” he says one last time. “And you’ll be the best Mercury in your class.”

"I’m the only Mercury,” she reminds him.

“I know,” he says, and leans in to kiss her forehead.

At the play on Monday, Amy steps up in front of the boy playing the sun and proudly announces: “My name is Mercury, small and fast. I’m in first, and Pluto’s last.”

And after the play, Bruce discovers that Tony changed the dialogue from Neptune (the final actual planet in the solar system, Tony) to Pluto.

anarialm sorulan:

I kind of feel like I've asked this before, but it wasn't crossed off on my prompt list, so. Miles and the Fury twins, or Beth and Amy and Dot. Or Fury and Tony interacting as parents outside of work.

I tried to give you a tiny taste of everything.

“This is weird, right?” Tony asks, glancing over at Fury. “This play-date thing, I mean.”

“Very,” Fury agrees, and sips his coffee.

Tony’s not sure who’s responsible, whether it’s his very cute foster daughter or his equally cute husband, but right now, his house is overrun with Fury children. In the living room, the Fury twins—who are a year-and-a-half younger than Miles but no less terrifying in the raw amount of boy they bring to the table—slaughter Teddy and Miles in some sort of complicated war video game that Tony’s never played; outside, Beth Fury plays some sort of princess-in-the-castle game out on the swing set with Dot and Amy. Worse, Bruce and Melinda May are bonding, which feels dangerous in a distinctly unsexy way.

Tony almost points this out when Fury sighs. “They calm down after the terrible twelves?” he asks.

Tony blinks at him. “Uh, what?”

He nods toward the gaggle of gamers. “All the way through elementary school, I could handle them,” he says, his voice a little less sage boss of all things prosecution and a little more concerned dad, not that Tony really believes the second persona exists. “Jackson was a little wild, but otherwise, I could keep them in line. But it’s like they hit eleven and ricocheted off it hard, and I’m not sure how to keep them from tearing each other—or the two of us—to shreds.”

“I wish I knew.” Fury glances at him suspiciously, and he holds up his hands. “First almost year with Miles, he was the dream kid. Wanted to do everything right. But as soon as he realized we really weren’t going anywhere, it was blowback like you wouldn’t believe.” He shakes his head. “Honeymoon period’s over, and he is now a full-on teenage boy.”

Fury frowns. “So what you’re saying is we’re screwed.”

“Undeniably,” Tony replies, and taps their coffee mugs together.

(Late that night, he sits up in bed like he’s just been goosed by a ghost. “Holy shit, I think I parent-bonded with Fury today.”

Bruce groans and rolls over. “Go back to bed, Tony.”)

hugealienpie sorulan:

Will sell left ovary for Billy hanging out with Clan Stark-Banner-Morales-Altman-Jimenez.

“I’m pretty sure they’re cheating,” Tony says, and Bruce rolls his eyes. “No, I’m sorry, but if I’m playing Catch Phrase with my husband of forever—”

“Not forever,” Miles mutters.

“—and I am losing to a couple of high school boyfriends, that means somebody’s cheating. That’s a verifiable fact.”

Teddy reaches for the actual Catch Phrase thing that displays the words (he’s pretty sure it doesn’t have a name), but Tony switches hands to hold it far, far away. Teddy grins. “Worried that we’ll overtake your legacy?” he asks.

Bruce snickers, but Tony scowls. “Our legacy is eternal.”

“It can’t be that eternal if you’re losing to us,” Billy points out, and snatches the Catch Phrase thing right out of Tony’s hand. The first couple times he came over, he’d been on his absolute best behavior, all please and thank you and none of his usual devious wit. Teddy’d actually missed his boyfriend a little in those days. But now, six rounds into a vicious game of three-team Catch Phrase, he grins. “I think there’s a whole bunch of sayings about the old making way for the young, actually.”

Bruce snorts a laugh that sounds a little painful. Miles hides his grin in his soda. Amy giggles.

Tony glares at him. “Your adorable high school mind-link is no match for years of deep and abiding adult love,” he challenges.

Billy smirks. “Prove it.”

Another four rounds later, when they pause for a bathroom-and-snack break, Billy leans against Teddy’s side in the kitchen. “Am I being a little too, I don’t know, aggressive with your foster dad?” he asks.

Teddy smiles as he glances down at Billy, but as always, Tony beats him to the punch. “The Kaplan and Altman dream team needs to return to the living room for a beat down!” he announces as he thunders down from the upstairs bathroom.

Behind him, Bruce sighs. “I am so sorry,” he tells no one in particular.

Billy grins. “Never mind,” he says, and Teddy grins back.