WTF I ended up on tumblr....
Why the fuck not, this is probably the most open and forthcoming I have ever been with myself about how I feel inside. Actually I was somewhat inspired to come here by Amberneko after watching her videos on youtube I followed along.
Over the years I’ve had more then one therapist tell me journal your thoughts down. It’ll help.. meh but wtf lets put em out on the internet because writing in the little notebook was so thera-fucking-peutic. (Small hint, I am a very angry person inside).
So I’ve battled depression and Dysphoria. I’ve checked out of reality and then pulled my shit together enough to function. I’ve never really dealt well with my Gender issues (non issues?) fuck me I don’t know. But regardless of all this I have survived, I am a survivor because be fucked if I’m going to give em the satisfaction.
I am the little boy that always wished to be a girl that grew up into the man who often doesn’t know why he bothers to get up in the morning. I don’t know what I am, I didn’t grow up thinking I was a girl, I’ve just always wanted to be one. WTF does that make me. I’m hoping I can work it out.
But then I’m a lazy fuck so who knows how far I’ll get on my search. I have a very distinct duality to my personalty, it’s a love hate thing.
Good news though, I am currently not depressed, I’m not not depressed but I’m not depressed. It makes sense to me………………….