about certain Amber “fans”

so today I actually got in touch with a few of Amber/f(x)’s “fans” from my home country (Brazil) via group chat.

most of them were, like, 15-16 year olds - almost all of them closeted girls.

the unfortunate thing was that all they talked about was Amber’s supposed sexuality - but not in a nice, understanding way. they overtly sexualized her and actually… kind of ridiculed her.

they frequently mentioned how they thought Amber has no genitals (!!! - they said, in a “jokingly” manner that she was like a ken doll underneath her clothes), kept saying she needs to “come out already”, suggested she was a closeted trans person, “jokingly” referred to her as a “hermaphrodite” and claimed she was in denial - all the while, making fun of her “small participation” in f(x) songs and dragging her self-empowerment song. yes, they all are “Amber stans” - “huge fans” who alternated between making misguided comments and then saying they all wanted to have sex with her

I was a little annoyed by it - I’m 20 and ain’t got no time for a 1 hour-long discussion about Amber’s private parts - so I left the group. I was looking forward to talking about her interviews, her lyrics, her cool outfits in the music videos and such…

What I found really insensitive wasn’t the fact that they had certain “theories” regarding Amber’s private life - was that, by doing that, they trivialized and ridiculed the experiences of people who actually go through repression of their sexuality and gender identity.

It was also highly surprising that they were closeted girls - it seems to me that they appreciate Amber not for her talents, personality or what she stands for, but rather her physical appearance and mannerisms - which, I think, is somewhat of an exaggerated projection of their own sexual fantasies towards her.

It’s OKAY (and sort of inevitable - I mean, she is a gorgeous princess) to be attracted to her, to acknowledge her beauty, to write fanfiction, to express to your friends that you have this and that as a fantasy if you’d like. I’m not one to censor someone’s expression of their own sexuality. But I realised they couldn’t care less about her music or who she is. Like, really.

I’ve been a tomboy my whole life, mostly thoughout middle school - but have always described myself as straight. I always found it puzzling when people made assumptions about my sexuality - it doesn’t really bother me at all, because being associated with the lgbtq community isn’t insulting or offensive, though it is inaccurate.

What is really a little discomforting is that people still associate gender expression with gender identity and sexual orientation. Not only that, but people haven’t realized gender is a social construct, not a biological fact. And it is incredibly heteronormative to assume that people who are androgynous or that display characteristics often attributed to the opposite sex are gay - it’s an easy escape to assume a lesbian is “trying to be a man”, because then you’re able to “place the man” in the relationship between two women.

I mean, I’m just trying to put my own two cents in this discussion and I hope I didn’t spew bullshit with this post. I’m wondering what you guys think (really!). I’m simply a little tired of people trying to figure out “what” Amber is, as if that’s anyone’s business in the first place. And if she is gay, do people think that by pressuring her over twitter is going to help?

Are my concerns legitimate?