alytosh

So tired of shit.

I am sooooo tired of this. Like honestly, this has happened like 4 times in the past month, and I don’t understand why people think it’s okay. In general, I’d say I’m a really chill, laid back person who can take jokes made at or about me and once in a while, I’ll make a couple of jokes at myself. But recently, it seems like people take advantage of this or try to push my limits to points that I’m about to punch someone. I’ve learned how to bite my tongue, keep quiet, and walk away, but it doesn’t mean that I’m not angry or hurt by what they’re saying. And to make things worse, even when they DO realize i’m angry or sometimes i even tell them straight up to stop, they STILL CONTINUE to tease me. I mean I’ve realized it always happens when they’re with their friends or something, so I guess they’re kinda fueled by the laughs and encouraged by one another to continue the insulting. Like, I’m just TIRED of having to listen to all these excuses after like “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to” or “i didn’t know it would hurt you this much” or promises that you won’t do it again, when we both know you will. Please just be nice to me. Let’s just have a nice conversation where you’re not ganging up on me.

On top of that, I’m done with you. I thought you were different but boy, did you prove me wrong. Because you’re not. You’re just like the typical boy who has no clue what he wants. I didn’t think so before, but as people told me things and you actually started saying things I’ve never thought you would say, I’ve realized you would not be good for me. So thank you for helping me see this.

3

Posting a pic cause I’m so stoked Ash & I beat the first seed in doubles today (: They were such assholes LOL one of them like threw her racket at me after she missed a shot. LOL dude, keep it together.

Being single with taken friends...

Honestly, it ain’t that bad. I know I complain about third wheeling and being so alone, but it’s actually fine. Okay, I’ll admit. Third wheeling is pretty crappy. HAHA but only because I feel like I’m watching something that I shouldn’t be, or hearing things that should be private (Okay I’m very aware it sounds like my friends are doing dirty, nasty stuff… But I’m referring to the innocent, cute, playful things that go on between two people. OKAY). Being single with all these friends that are in a relationship, isn’t so bad. I know I seem all salty (sorry), but I’m actually incredibly happy that my friends are happy. For instance, one of my friends just got a boyfriend. She’s not the type to talk about boys all day, and she usually keeps to herself about her feelings. But she’s been gushing to me about her boyfriend. It makes me smile to see how she’s so happy and that’s all I want for my friends.  So honestly, being single while being surrounded by taken friends isn’t that bad because all that matters is that they’re happy.

So I was playing a tennis match and I was really disgusted with how I was playing so I was talking to myself quietly and said “Alyssa, do you even know how to play tennis or what? Hit the damn ball in the court. You’re such an idiot, I don’t even wanna talk to you right now”… Then, realizing what I said, I looked around hoping that nobody heard what I said because I said I didn’t wanna talk to myself anymore.. LOL wutdafuq.

Sister

Okay honestly, my sister is probably the best sister in the entire world and I’m an idiot for being such a bitch to her sometimes. I kinda feel like crying writing this, but whatever. My sister is always there for me, she cares for me, shes my biggest supporter, and she always loves me no matter what. I’ve yelled at her, missed some of her performances, and sometimes I don’t even have time to spend with her; yet she’s there at almost every one of my matches and patiently waits as I spend all my time on the tennis court. She always makes me signs, hugs me when I win, and makes me hand made presents for my birthday and Christmas.  She makes the craziest faces, dances like an idiot to make me laugh, and belts songs with me in the car. I don’t know why I just came to realize this, but Kira, I love you so much. You’re honestly the best sister I could’ve ever asked for.

Day 1

Day one. Today sucked. Bored all day at school. Didn’t know who to talk to. D: I was sad….

THEN, when I ordered my Starbucks it was unsweetened and it tasted like shit.

and then I broke my nail.

then, in Clayton’s words, this guy is “tryna get in my pants” LOL and it’s like “ew no gtfo”

also, I have a shitload of homework.

But it’s kinda okay cause I don’t have school tomorrow. But yeah… Today sucked. :/ One more day…. & it’ll get a little better.

LOL group projects.

It’s so funny when we get group projects and then you do all the work by yourself but you’re forced to put everyone else’s name on it because otherwise your performance in class will be shit.  You know what’s even funnier?  When they get a high grade even when they do nothing and they think they’re all badass for creating a ‘quality product’.  HAHA and you wanna know what the funniest thing is?  They’re probably fast asleep right now, dreaming peacefully and tomorrow when I see them in class they’ll be thinking “wow… she looks like shit with those bags under her eyes” and I’ll be thinking “lolfuckyou. I stayed up all night doing this. I’m giving you exactly what you have to say in our presentation but it’s all my words lol.” I’m not saying I’m the best partner ever but I do think people could do some shit.