alternatives

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Alternatives for self harm.

  • Scribble on photos of people in magazines
  • Viciously stab an orange
  • Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
  • Have a pillow fight with the wall
  • Scream very loudly
  • Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
  • Go to the gym, dance, exercise
  • Listen to music and sing along loudly
  • Draw a picture of what is making you angry
  • Beat up a stuffed bear
  • Pop bubble wrap
  • Pop balloons
  • Splatter paint
  • Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
  • Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
  • Throw darts at a dartboard
  • Go for a run
  • Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
  • Use stress relievers
  • Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
  • Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
  • Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
  • Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
  • Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
  • Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go
  • On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
  • Break sticks
  • Cut up fruits
  • Make yourself as comfortable as possible
  • Stomp around in heavy shoes
  • Play handball or tennis
  • Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
  • Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)
  • The Calm Jar (Fill a mason jar or similar with colored water and glitter. When feeling upset or angry you can shake it to disturb the glitter and focus on that until the glitter settles.)
  • Blow up a balloon and pop it

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

  • Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
  • Run your hands under freezing cold water
  • Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist
  • Clap your hands until it stings
  • Wax your legs
  • Drink freezing cold water
  • Splash your face with cold water
  • Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off
  • Massage where you want to hurt yourself
  • Take a hot shower/bath
  • Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet
  • Write or paint on yourself
  • Arm wrestle with a member of your family
  • Take a cold bath
  • Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
  • Rub liniment under your nose
  • Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

  • Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades
  • Color your hair
  • Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming
  • Sing on the karaoke machine
  • Complete something you’ve been putting off
  • Take up a new hobby
  • Make a cup of tea
  • Tell and laugh at jokes
  • Play solitaire
  • Count up to 500 or 1000
  • Surf the net
  • Make as many words out of your full name as possible
  • Count ceiling tiles or lights
  • Search ridiculous things on the web
  • Colour coordinate your wardrobe
  • Play with toys, such as a slinky
  • Go to the park and play on the swings
  • Call up an old friend
  • Go “people watching”
  • Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets
  • Do school work
  • Play a musical instrument
  • Watch TV or a movie
  • Paint your nails
  • Alphabetize your CDs or books
  • Cook
  • Make origami to occupy your hands
  • Doodle on sheets of paper
  • Dress up or try on old clothes
  • Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop
  • Write out lyrics to your favorite song
  • Play a sport
  • Read a book/magazine
  • Do a crossword
  • Draw a comic strip
  • Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper
  • Knit, sew, or make a necklace
  • Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy
  • Buy a plant and take care of it
  • Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon
  • Browse the forums
  • Go shopping
  • Memorize a poem with meaning
  • Learn to swear in another language
  • Look up words in a dictionary
  • Play hide-and-seek with your siblings
  • Go outside and watch the clouds roll by
  • Plan a party
  • Find out if any concerts will be in your area
  • Make your own dance routine
  • Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself
  • Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day
  • Finish homework before it’s due
  • Take a break from mental processing
  • Notice black and white thinking
  • Get out on your own, get away from the stress
  • Go on YouTube
  • Make a scrapbook
  • Colour in a picture or colouring book.
  • Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.
  • Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)
  • Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)
  • Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)
  • Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it
  • Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.
  • Take a small step towards a goal you have.
  • Re-organize your room
  • Name all of your soft toys
  • Play the A-Z game (Pick a category ie. Animals, and think of an animal for every letter of the alphabet
  • Have a lush warm bubble bath with candles!
  • Do some knitting
  • Do some house hold chores 

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:

  • Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal
  • Run around outside screaming
  • Laugh for no reason whatsoever
  • Make funny faces in a mirror
  • Without turning orange, self tan
  • Pluck your eyebrows
  • Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
  • Go to the zoo and name all of the animals
  • Color on the walls
  • Blow bubbles
  • Pull weeds in the garden

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

  • Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming
  • Draw or paint
  • Look at the sky
  • Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming
  • Call a friend and ask for company
  • Buy a cuddly toy
  • Give someone a hug with a smile
  • Put a face mask on
  • Watch a favorite TV show or movie
  • Eat something ridiculously sweet
  • Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head
  • Treat yourself to some chocolate
  • Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do
  • Look at things that are special to you
  • Compliment someone else
  • Make sculptures
  • Watch fish
  • Youtube funny videos!
  • Let yourself cry
  • Play with a pet
  • Have or give a massage
  • Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind
  • If you’re religious, read the bible or pray
  • Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)
  • Go chat in the chat room
  • Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion
  • Accept a gift from a friend
  • Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
  • Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles
  • Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
  • Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
  • Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read
  • Write words in the sand for them to be washed away

Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:

  • “See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
  • Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to
  • Meditate or do yoga
  • Name all of your soft toys
  • Hug a pillow or soft toy
  • Hyper focus on something
  • Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 14th January 2015, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
  • With permission, give someone a hug
  • Drink herbal tea
  • Crunch ice
  • Hug a tree
  • Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so
  • Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive
  • Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards
  • Put your feet firmly on the floor
  • Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse
  • Touch something familiar/safe
  • Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
  • Create a safe place for yourself and take yourself there
  • Lay on the grass and watch the clouds. You can try to make pictures with them too.
  • Light a candle and watch the flame

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

  • Think about how you don’t want scars
  • Treat yourself nicely
  • Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self harm
  • Create a safe place to go
  • Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”
  • Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it
  • Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do
  • Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming
  • Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time
  • Avoid temptation
  • Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut
  • Be with other people
  • Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm
  • Make a list of your positive character traits
  • Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you
  • Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self harm
  • Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
  • Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe
  • Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”
  • Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try… “What if”
  • Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about yourself and that you don’t want this
  • Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
  • The Butterfly Project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love, or have a loved one draw it for you.
  • Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.
  • Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.
  • Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

  • Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this, where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some users may find this triggering, so view with caution)
  • Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut
  • Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo
  • Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick
  • Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
  • Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
  • Paint yourself with red tempera paint.
  • 'Cut' your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it's hard to get off)
  • Use red food colouring on your skin

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

  • Phone a friend and talk to them
  • Make a collage of how you feel
  • Negotiate with yourself
  • Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way
  • Write your feelings in a diary
  • Free write (Write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)
  • Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life
  • Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to
  • Call a hotline
  • Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)
  • Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.

Reblog so everyone can see this.

anonymous asked:

what are porn alternatives?

You need to take a step back, critically assess your attachment to porn and most importantly, stop thinking about yourself and your own orgasms.

Anti-porn activisim is not about you and it is not about how you can continue to consume (mostly) women as a commodity free of guilt. If you feel guilty about consuming mainstream porn - you should.

But don’t you dare rack up the nerve to ask me about alternatives. This is not because I think sex is wrong, that masturbation is wrong or that sexual exploration is wrong. It is because I do not, for a second, want to draw attention away from the mass abuse that is occurring within the mainstream sex industry right now. That’s not what I am here for and that is not why I am doing this.

People are being raped, beaten, coerced and abused. 12 year olds are learning that physically and verbally violent sex is ‘normal’ and ‘to be expected.’ Sex trafficking still exists, child trafficking still exists, sexual slavery still exists, women are still being bought and sold as commodities and still do not have full bodily autonomy and you are asking about porn alternatives?

There’s a lot more to this issue than me telling you to go read a vanilla manga for the sake of your guilty conscience. 

Think critically. And don’t draw attention away from the atrocities that are happening every single day in the porn industry.

These women’s lives come first; your precious orgasms come second.

An Amazing Alternative to a Zoo

Do you want to bring your kids, family, friends to a Zoo? What about going to a Farm Sanctuary instead? It is way cheaper and depending which ones you go to you will see a bigger variety of Animals! You are even. Helping Animals by supporting a place that Saves Animals for a Living and let’s Them be free instead of in a Zoo. Look up Farm Sanctuaries to learn more and see all the different ones. The Animals Thank You

It’s time to start imagining a society that isn’t dominated by police.

After months of escalating protests and grassroots organizing in response to the police killings of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, police reformers have issued many demands. The moderates in this debate typically qualify their rhetoric with “We all know we need police, but…” It’s a familiar refrain to those of us who’ve spent years in the streets and the barrios organizing around police violence, only to be confronted by officers who snarl, “But who’ll help you if you get robbed?” We can put a man on the moon, but we’re still lacking creativity down here on Earth.

But police are not a permanent fixture in society. While law enforcers have existed in one form or another for centuries, the modern police have their roots in the relatively recent rise of modern property relations 200 years ago, and the "disorderly conduct" of the urban poor. Like every structure we’ve known all our lives, it seems that the policing paradigm is inescapable and everlasting, and the only thing keeping us from the precipice of a dystopic Wild West scenario. It’s not. Rather than be scared of our impending Road Warrior future, check out just a few of the practicable, real-world alternatives to the modern system known as policing:

  1. Unarmed mediation and intervention teams


Unarmed but trained people, often formerly violent offenders themselves, patrolling their neighborhoods to curb violence right where it starts. This is real and it exists in cities from Detroit to Los Angeles. Stop believing that police are heroes because they are the only ones willing to get in the way of knives or guns – so are the members of groups like Cure Violence, who were the subject of the 2012 documentary The Interrupters. There are also feminist models that specifically organize patrols of local women, who reduce everything from cat-calling and partner violence to gang murders in places like Brooklyn. While police forces have benefited from military-grade weapons and equipment, some of the most violent neighborhoods have found success through peace rather than war.

  1. The decriminalization of almost every crime


What is considered criminal is something too often debated only in critical criminology seminars, and too rarely in the mainstream. Violent offenses count for a fraction of the 11 to 14 million arrests every year, and yet there is no real conversation about what constitutes a crime and what permits society to put a person in chains and a cage. Decriminalization doesn’t work on its own: The cannabis trade that used to employ poor Blacks, Latinos, indigenous and poor whites in its distribution is now starting to be monopolized by already-rich landowners. That means that wide-scale decriminalization will need to come with economic programs and community projects. To quote investigative journalist Christian Parenti’s remarks on criminal justice reform in his book Lockdown America, what we really need most of all is “less.”


  1. Restorative Justice


Also known as reparative or transformative justice, these models represent an alternative to courts and jails. From hippie communes to the IRA and anti-Apartheid South African guerrillas to even some U.S. cities like Philadelphia’s experiment with community courts, spaces are created where accountability is understood as a community issue and the entire community, along with the so-called perpetrator and the victim of a given offense, try to restore and even transform everyone in the process. It has also been used uninterrupted by indigenous and Afro-descendant communities like San Basilio de Palenque in Colombia for centuries, and it remains perhaps the most widespread and far-reaching of the alternatives to the adversarial court system.

  1. Direct democracy at the community level


Reducing crime is not about social control. It’s not about cops, and it’s not a bait-and-switch with another callous institution. It’s giving people a sense of purpose. Communities that have tools to engage with each other about problems and disputes don’t have to consider what to do after anti-social behaviors are exhibited in the first place. A more healthy political culture where people feel more involved is a powerful building block to a less violent world.

  1. Community patrols 


This one is a wildcard. Community patrols can have dangerous racial overtones, from pogroms to the KKK to George Zimmerman. But they can also be an option that replaces police with affected community members when police are very obviously the criminals. In Mexico, where one of the world’s most corrupt police forces only has credibility as a criminal syndicate, there have been armed groups of Policia Comunitaria and Autodefensas organized by local residents for self-defense from narcotraffickers, femicide and police. Obviously these could become police themselves and then be subject to the same abuses, but as a temporary solution they have been making a real impact. Power corrupts, but perhaps in Mexico, withering power won’t have enough time to corrupt.

  1. Here’s a crazy one: mental health care


In 2012, Mayor Rahm Emanuel closed up the last trauma clinics in some of Chicago’s most violent neighborhoods. In New York, Rikers Island jails as many people with mental illnesses "as all 24 psychiatric hospitals in New York State combined," which is reportedly 40% of the people jailed at Rikers. We have created a tremendous amount of mental illness, and in the real debt and austerity dystopia we’re living in, we have refused to treat each other for our physical and mental wounds. Mental health has often been a trapdoor for other forms of institutionalized social control as bad as any prison, but shifting toward preventative, supportive and independent living care can help keep those most impacted from ending up in handcuffs or dead on the street.

IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AN EMERGENCY:

Suicide: 1-800-784-8433

Lifeline (Suicide): 1-800-273-8255

Depression: 1-630-482-9696

Eating Disorders: 1-847-831-3438

The Trevor Project (LGBTQ Youth): 1-866-488-7386

Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743

Trans Lifeline: 877-565-8860

Sexual Assault:1-800-656-4673

Grief: 1-650-321-5272

Exhale (Abortion): 1-866-439-4253

Runaway: 1-800-843-5200 or 1-800-843-5678 or 1-800-621-4000

if you need to feel a physical sensation instead of self harm:

1. Get an ice-cube and hold/squeeze it in your hand until it goes numb or it melts

2. Go to the gym and exercise, or dance, or anything else you’d like to do to release endorphin’s (they help release pain and stress naturally)

3. Take a hot/cold shower

4. Chew some hot gum or a pepper/ginger root

5. Tense and relax your muscles. Tense for ten, breathe, and release

6. Drink freezing cold water and feel it slide down your throat

7. Massage where you want to harm

8. Paint on yourself

if you want to see marks/simulation of blood on your skin:

1. Take a red marker and draw where you want to harm

2. Use Henna (a natural paste used to make designs on skin, when picked off, leaves a red/orange-ish mark for a few days)

3. Put on a temporary tattoo

4. Draw on paper/anything else with a red maker

5. Draw on yourself with red food coloring

6. Make “wounds” with make up or lipstick (even if you’re a boy!)

if you want to pick your skin:

1. Use Henna and pick it off

2. Put Elmer’s glue on your skin, let it dry, and peel it off

3. Put on nail polish (on your nail or skin) and peel it off

vent

1. Seven cups of tea (vent anonymously) 

2. The Comfort Spot 

3. Mood chart sheet

4. Journal, wellness plan, tracker,tips ect.- 

5. Come here and vent or seek advice or just talk

calm down

1. Very calming game

2. Pretty colors (WARNING: fast movements)

3. Chrome stars (WARNING: bright lights, simulates astronomy)

4. Calming manatee 

5. Get cheered up or cheer someone else up

6. The Dawn Room

alternatives 

1. Scribble on a magazine, photo, ect. with pen or markers

2. Throw a pair of socks at the wall

3. Have a pillow fight with the wall

4. Scream (outloud or into a pillow) - it can help

5. Cry - it is not a sign of weakness and is actually proven to increase mood and behavior. It doesn’t make you weak, it shows that you’re strong

6. Tear paper, newspaper, magazines, ect.

7. Exercise

8. Listen to music and sing as if you’re the only one who can hear (dance around too if you want!)

9. Draw or write about what makes you angry, sad, stressed out, ect.- (as an extra step, tear it to shreds!)

10. Pop a balloon or bubble wrap

11. Build a pillow fort and chill in it or destroy it

12. Splatter paint

13. Throw ice in a bath tub, wall, concrete until it breaks

14. Break sticks

15. Enjoy a movie (1) (2) (3) (4) 

16. Read (1) (2) (3) (4)

17. Blow up a balloon

18. Paint your nails or paint in general

19. Count to 500 or more (count objects too)

20. Play solitaire or computer games

21. Make as many words as possible with your name or someone else’s

22. Color coordinate your wardrobe

21. Alphabetize a book shelf, CD’s, ect.-

22. Write out lyrics to your favorite songs

23. Rearrange your room

24. Memorize a song or poem with meaning

25. Photoshop funny things like people

26. Make a scrapbook

27. Make a comfort box 

28. Cloud watch or stargaze, even inside

29. Learn to swear in another language

30. Find a coloring page and color it!

31. Pick a topic and research about it

32. Have a relaxing bubble bath

33. Make funny faces in the mirror

34. Blow bubbles

35. Mold clay or playdoh, or even make your own 

36. Go through old photos, newspapers, ect.-

37. Research your family history at you library or on the net

38. Put on make up or paint and paint your face/body

39. Make symmetrical art and color it in if you wish

40. Work on fancy script/cursive/calligraphy

41. Bake something and enjoy a sweet treat

42. Make your own beautiful nebulla

44. Play some games (1) (2) (3) (4) (5)

45. Check out a library book and before you return it, write a complimentary note and stick it in

46. Collect fortune cookie fortunes and read them when you’re down

47. Browse this site 

48. Make your own font  

49. Crochet or knit, or teach yourself to do either

50. Organize folders like documents and pictures on your computer

resources 

1. If you need medical help but are low on income

2. Help with different disorders

3. If you’re worried about someone selfharming 

~Feel free to send me some others to add to this list. This is for you, after all. You can do this, I love you. You are so much stronger than you think, and you can do this.~