If Kyubey appeared to Bleach characters...
As requested by anon. :) And also anon. ;)
Kyubey is a character from Madoka Magical Girl. He looks kinda like an emotionless, alien cat and he makes contracts with preteen girls. They can have any wish granted, and then they become magical girls and fight witches. So what if Kyubey appeared to Bleach characters and made his offer? How would they react?
Kenpachi: Fight witches? Are witches hard to fight?
Kyubey: They are extremely powerful.
Kenpachi: Cool! I’m in!
Kyubey: What is your wish?
Kenpachi: To fight witches!
Kyubey: Stop breaking the system.
Tatsuki: OH HO! Looks like I won’t be the only one without super powers anymore!
Kyubey: What do you want to wish?
Tatsuki: Somebody said that Ichigo might not come back from Soul Society after this war. Can you make sure that he does? WITHOUT the universe being destroyed or anything?
Kyubey: Oh. I am all about saving the universe.
Mizuiro: Do you have some sort of “Terms & Conditions” in writing?
Kyubey: No. But I willingly answer all questions in a completely non-deceptive manner.
Mizuiro: I may need to think about this.
Keigo: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU CREEPY ALIEN CAT
Kyubey: I am just trying to have a conversation.
Karin: No thanks.
Kyubey: You do not wish to become a magical girl?
Karin: Dude, thanks to my parents, I have Quincy and shinigami powers, and I’m pretty sure I could join either team if I really wanted to. Or just fight hollows for a creepy shopkeeper.
Karin: I don’t need ANOTHER shady mentor.
Karin: Plus I don’t believe in witches.
Kyubey: I might hang around until you change your mind.
Karin: Get in line behind all of the ghosts.
Byakuya: But I am not a preteen girl.
Kyubey: We have expanded our poor of applicants.
Kyubey: Your colleague Kenpachi already said yes.
Byakuya: And here I was about to consider it.
Byakuya: But now I know that it is a very very bad idea.
Ichigo: Huh? I get a wish?
Ichigo: It’s like you’re paying me!
Ichigo: I’ve never gotten paid for saving the world before!
Ichigo: Can I scritch you on the head in gratitude?
Ichigo: That’s fair.
Apacci: I want Halibel-sama out of jail, and I’m happy to fight pretty much anyone.
Kyubey: Both of your colleagues said the same thing.
Apacci: YOU TALKED TO THEM FIRST?!
Kira: At this point, I’m willing to do pretty much anything if you’ll repair my torso without zombiefying me.
Kira: I don’t seem to have any other options.
Kira: Your face reminds me of my captain’s, so I assume this will end badly, but -
Kyubey: I think we can come to an agreement.
Ulquiorra: I sense that you, like me, are an emotionless being.
Ulquiorra: You want something from me.
Ulquiorra: Yet instead of making an ultimatum, you are offering a wish?
Ulquiorra: I wish I had thought of that.