The most merciful thing in the word...
is the inability of the human mind to correlate all of it’s contents.
Since I’ve become more accustom to my medication and the fact that I am bipolar and have bpd I’ve been remembering things once lost due to forcing myself. even subconsciously, to forget. Things for the most part seem hazy and foggy as far as a lot of my memories go. I don’t really have anything resembling a timeline in my head. If anything it’s like the Lost Woods in The Legend of Zelda. I can usually find what I’m looking for, but sometime I just get lost in my own thoughts because the memory just isn’t quite there. I’ve been getting almost glimpses and feelings of deja vu as things come to the top of my head as I constantly sift through the usual racing thoughts. It’s tiring, and emotionally exhausting; all the while helping me come to grips with who I am.
I’m just thankful it hasn’t hit me all at once. It’s easiest to deal with it this way so far.
Bottom Note: My lovely and vertically challenged girlfriend Agent H recommended a book called “I hate you, don’t leave me” which talks about what it’s like to live with people with BPD or how to live with it and goes over the history of it’s naming and what symptoms envelope to be Borderline Personality Disorder.