The best decision I made this year was to quit drinking alcohol. This has been one of the shittiest years I’ve had simply because I chose to not control my drinking. I still don’t understand what thoughts I was trying to mask by remaining behind the veil. The losses I had this year were significant and have left immense scarring. The self-destruction path I chose took a great toll on me emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. I know that only time will heal my wounds but also I’ve become a stronger person. I had a preview of the kind of person I could end up being if I fall under this trap again. 

The loss of those that don’t understand that alcoholism is an illness was what hurt the most. I know I can’t drink moderately, sure I can go to a bar and in an hour only have a beer but the moment I get home I will down a fifth of Vodka in a night. I don’t have that “I’m good, I don’t need more” gauge. It’s tough to have the lifestyle of an alcoholic but I managed to be functional until the end. 

Now I think it’s funny that I get to go to parties where I’m offered alcohol and other substances and I can calmly reject the temptation. For now I’m choosing the sober life. I’m not promising myself that I will never drink again. I’m promising myself that I will stay away long enough to fully comprehend where the drive to get smashed and continue doing it for weeks comes from. 

Like I said earlier, only time can heal the wounds. 

What’s the big deal the the Great Gatbsy? It was a piss poor written book about some guy that met a millionaire that threw parties. Every time I see a post about the movie coming out I get angry because the book was shit and the message it sent was even shittier. Yes, people have problems but come on, death and murder being glorified? Fuck this book. 

So when my girlfriend broke up with me I lost my climbing partner. Even though I boulder more than what I lead or toprope I still miss the rope. Thankfully my gym bought some Trublue Auto Belay systems and I’ve been hitting it pretty hard lately. My endurance is improving significantly. Today I did 11 laps on an 11b on toprope. It feels soooo good. Now when I play add-on with my buddies I can go forever because my anaerobic respiration is off the charts. By the end of the month I’m hoping I can do the 11b at least 20 times without having to stop. :D

Today.... I became a gym rat.

I spent almost 8 hours at the gym today. It was great! Climbed hard, now I’m tired and waiting for my pizza to finish baking. Yum! Climbing tomorrow; can’t wait for winter to be over to actually climb outside and for the weather to not be under 20 degrees every day. 

Days like this make me love my job.

Today I’m getting paid for 4.25 hours of work where the clients have canceled services so I don’t have to do anything. Tumblr, Netflix and Reddit while getting paid. Hell I may even have a margarita :)