OK Ladies and ladies.
Here is the thing I ~Alaina~ (Known to electro-internet peoples as Chrystal / ShatteredChrystal) am gonna do for you. I’m gonna show you how I make my own beard cover for cheap. I’m talking checking the bank to see if you have enough to cover your 79 cent burrito cheap.
So listen up you crazy beautiful bitches cause Imma bout to show you the cheap cheap magic.
As most of us do when we start trying to use makeup for the first time I bought some awful makeup. Awful, Awful. Utter dollar store no name probably made from industrial run-off crap. And my makeup case has bloated up like the proverbial alka-seltzer seagull.
Just look at it!
Poor baby can’t even close :(
SOOOOOOO I thought to myself, what should I do with this abundance of useless crummy makeup? Throw it away? Give makeovers to neighborhood stray children? Sacrifice it on a flaming altar to Givenchanel the great Goddess of Makeup?!
Well not wanting to be wasteful (or anger the Goddess with a sub-standard offering) I decided to reuse it. And since I haven’t had the funds to harness the very power of the sun to burn the beard from my living flesh, I decided to make a beard cover.
What I usually do is add red lipstick to my concealer and blend it over my face and neck. This works well but adds a nice chunk of change to the time it takes to do my makeup.
So I said to Myself: SELF!
Self: Yeah Alaina what do you want?
Alaina: WHY DON”T YOU GET OFF YOUR FINE ASS AND MIX SOME UP BEFORHAND?
Self: Well you don’t have to yell girl, but that’s not a bad Idea.
Alaina: YOU BET YOUR TITS IT IS!
So I did.
After trial and alchemy…..
I had done it!
I had done the impossible!
(or maybe just slightly improbable)
I created a dollar store beard cream…. And it actually works!!!!!
So without further bull-shittery here is the recipe!
- Start with a tablespoon or so of $1 Body Butter (mine was almost empty so I am reusing the container).
MMMMMMMmmmmmm French Vanilla. That’s right people I walk around emitting the aroma of birthday cake and ice cream. [ I prefer to smell edible at all times *Wink Wink* ]
- Then add some $1 Foundation.
Don’t worry about matching your skin tone perfectly
That’s my shade on the right. Which is obviously much lighter than the foundation I used. So don’t sweat using a shade or two off.
- Add some $1 Concealer
I forgot to take a picture before I emptied the bottle. :-( But you get the idea, any liquid concealer close to your shade will work.
(shown above) E.L.F. Is a great $1 concealer for this purpose.
- Add some $1 Red Lipstick. Look for a deep red one with a trace of shimmer for added luminosity, it will help conceal the stubble. I used Wet N Wild - Cherry Frost. I also added some 50 cent red lipgloss, cause I was never gonna use it. You should be more than fine with just the lipstick.
- MIX the hell outa it!
It doesn’t have to be completely homogeneous just so that you don’t have big chunks of solid lipstick. Those tiny little dots are pieces of lipstick (a.k.a. wax) that will melt and blend when you put it on your face and/or danger zone. (hey, this girl don’t judge)
It will probably not mix together all the way and some will get stuck to the sides. That totally fine.
- Try it out until you get a good color. You will know when you get the right shade if it looks like you have a mild sunburn. The redness is what blocks the blue-ish beard hair from showing through.
I look a bit pink in the photo, but in normal light I look like I spent the day at the beach and didn’t SPF.
- Put it in the empty Concealer bottle for easy use or travel.
Now you have two! One for your purse one for your makeup kit!
- All Done! Now Try It Out!
Notice how much redder the Beard Cover is than my foundation.
I only did a little of my face for the photo but here you can tell what is going on. The cover-up doesn’t cake on to conceal so much as change the base coloring to refract the light differently. It doesn’t work on its own, (you need to use foundation / powder) but it does make a noticeable difference. Especially under harsh light or sunlight.
So there you have it girls. $4 Dolla Stubble-Eraser.
It’s not as good as the professional stuff, but its as cheap as I could make it and I hope it helps someone save some cash.
Cause sometimes keeping the electricity on is more important than $40 concealer.
Oh and Here’s a pic of me wearing the goop :-)
<3 All you girls! Happy Transitioning!