Talking Gender with Tiny Humans

During last week’s lgbtq+ policy meeting, a sentiment came up that I’ve heard many times before:

"How would I explain this transgender stuff to my child? He’s only seven, there’s no way he’d understand!"

'Concerned parents' often suggest that transgender identity and gender non-conformity are impossible topics to discuss with a young child.

Here’s the thing: kids are smart, and talking with them about gender is super easy. If you’re not sure where to start, this post is a primer. 

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Seventh-grader, McKenna Peterson’s letter to Dick’s Sporting Goods decrying the lack of female athletes in their recent basketball catalog went viral forcing the business to issue an apology.

An avid sports fan and basketball player, McKenna pointed out the importance of including photos of girls in the catalog. “It’s hard enough for girls to break through in this sport as it is, without you guys excluding us from your catalog. Girls buy stuff from your store,” she wrote.

Ed Stack, CEO of the sports retailer, vows to feature female basketball players in their catalog. 

Read more via ABC News.

When somebody has to take off unscheduled time because they or someone they care about is sick, they are often risk losing their job entirely. Without paid sick leave laws in place, most employers are legally allowed to fire employees for missing too many days due to illness. To make matters worse, not having paid time off means can also mean facing financial insecurity, which in turn leads to food insecurity, home instability and other financial problems. People without access to paid sick leave are more likely to go to the emergency room instead of going to see their primary care physician. This puts additional financial strain on both the employee — who has to pay for these expensive emergency procedures — and for the national economy, which could be spending the taxpayer money used to fund emergency room procedures elsewhere.

My earliest memory of being asked to contribute towards conservation was at the Minnesota Zoo as a kid, touring with my family. We turned the corner in the reptile hall and at the end of the exhibit there was a box that said something like A Dollar can save X amount of rainforest. Consider donating to help our efforts. And even as a young child I was incredibly skeptical. What was going to happen? Was I going to drop a dollar, or five, or ten, into that box - and miraculously deforestation would stop? A tree would stand strong, alone in a wasteland? We walked by it, my parents paying it no mind. 

That ambiguous mentality towards conservation persisted until I came to work at The Field Museum, when I was introduced to the Action Center team. The name in itself evokes the idea of superheroes: crime-fighters in capes, launching over the Amazon with Captain Planet and Mother Gaia. Turns out that image isn’t as realistic as it is sincere; this group really is a major boots on the ground initiative towards conservation. They are the dedicated botanists, anthropologists, ornithologists, and biologists of every assortment dropping into various areas of South America to conduct biodiversity assessments of uncharted rainforest in order create informed legislation that protects those areas. They’ve endured disease of every kind - Giardia, malaria, yellow fever, dengue, leishmaniasis - parasites, fungus, chiggers, botflies, waking up with snakes in their tents, held up at gunpoint from confused locals assuming they’re from the illegal logging industry. Two famed biologists died in a fly-over in 1993 - Ted Parker and Al Gentry pioneered this field of rapid biological assessment, creating the foundation for the decades-old legacy we carry on with their conservation mission in mind. 

And in the process these groups have secured and protected 23 million acres of wilderness of the Amazon headwaters. Looking at this map you realize that conservation initiatives are happening one area of forest at a time - slowly, with the help of new legislation, growing education, and heightened awareness of the issues at hand. 

In mid-October, I’m helicoptering into the Peruvian rainforest with this crew. It’ll be the first time Tom films out of the country - I’ve never been to South America. I’m getting my yellow fever vaccine on Monday and despite reviewing field guides and laying awake imagining the heat and mosquitoes and cacophony of the forest I’ll never be fully prepared for what we’re going to encounter in these biologically uncharted areas. 

We need to change the face of conservation from donation boxes asking for a dollar to real, relatable, actionable plans for preserving native wilderness. If it takes me getting a botfly in Peru to do so, I’m in. I just hope you’ll come along for the adventure.


"Hey! My name is Thea and I’m 12 years old. I am getting married! So, welcome to my blog. This will also be my wedding blog from now on <3” is how Norway’s first child bride has introduced her plans to marry her 37-year-old husband to be on October 11, 2014. 

A closer look at the blog reveals that it is actually meant to draw awareness to a campaign against child marriage run by Plan International. The organization states, “We want to show how horrible the practice of child marriage is and put it in a context that is familiar and normally associated with love, happiness and hope for the future….for 39,000 young girls who get married every day, their wedding day is the worst day of their life.”

The hashtag #StopTheWedding has generated public outrage against the child’s marriage. Plan International also invites people to digitally attend the wedding via Facebook while tweeting or posting status updates about the campaign. 

Read more about Thea’s marriage via Buzzfeed.


"[sex workers] came to merchant street and took control of their bodies—bodies that were radical in their mere existence in this misogynistic, transphobic, elitist world[…]The varied, often conflicting portraits these women presented shaped my developing composition of womanhood. When I am asked how I define womanhood, I often quote feminist author Simone de Beauvoir: "one is not born, but rather becomes a woman."[…]This short, powerful statement assured me that I have the freedom, in spite of and because of my birth, body, race, gender expectations, and economic resources, to define myself for myself and for others." -Janet Mock (Redefining Realness)

“”Can you move them over there?’ It was such an innocent question. The woman volunteering as an usher looked at the only one in my group of friends who doesn’t use a wheelchair or a walker, hoping he would herd us, “them,” to the back of the lobby to get out of the way for other people using mobility aids. My friend doesn’t appear to have a physical disability when he’s just standing still, so the usher directed her request at him as though he was our chaperone. And while this simple, blatant ableism so often renders me speechless until I come up with the perfect reply in the middle of the night, I just wasn’t willing to sit there and take it that day.” [read more]

A look at the upside-down world of Tumblr racism

In this post I would like to discuss a special type of racism that exists in certain corners of Tumblr. Tumblr is, for the most part, a vocally anti-racist site… compared to say something like Yahoo comments. However, within the context of the discussion of social justice, some users have developed a new approach to continuing racism with an anti-racist veneer.

I should make clear that I’m not talking about “reverse racism” or any other specious argument that seeks to undercut the legitimacy of the anti-racist movement. Instead, what I would like to focus on is a continuation of “the old racism” but with a slightly different spin – in which white saviors/teachers silence the voices of people of color so that white people can advocate their own preferences but with the borrowed authority of the groups they claim to represent.

Let me go straight to the example that caused me to think about this…

Today some World of Warcraft players were talking about the desirability of having access to “darker skintones” for Blood Elves. One poster, lobstmourne, argued that it was a question of representation for people of color.

but even if that’s true ALL your reasons against dark skinned elves ever happening are fucking trash.  

BRAEKIN TEH CANON!!1!   NO WHERE does it say blood elves MUST be light skinned or CANNOT be dark skinned, find me the Official Blizzard source that says otherwise I dare you.

Even if there was a magical law somewhere?  Guess what, you can break imaginary rules in an imaginary fantasy universe.  Blizzard retcons characters and changes lore ALL THE FUCKING TIME and you’re telling me dark skinned options on elves would be “too different” like seriously shut the fuck up.


People like you are part of the problem.  

Next time you try to shit on an attempt to improve representation and inclusion, eat it. Just eat it. Eat your own shit.

At this point another WoW player, regalswag, offered a firm but civil rebuttal saying that he, as a black man, did not feel that including darker skin tones would offer meaningful representation for him as his racial identity and experience cannot be essentialized as skin color options. (I won’t excerpt it because it is worth reading in full).

This posed a problem for lobstmourne and his friends because, up until that point, they were able to dismiss dissenting opinions as racist. Now, lobstmourne and others claiming to advocate for PoC could have listened to the concerns of one of the members of the community that they were discussing to understand that no community is monolithic and that sometimes the things that outsiders see as priorities are not the things that members of the group see as priorities.

Instead, we slide into the world of Tumblr racism – used by white folks to marginalize other folks but in the name of anti-racism and inclusion.

Lobstmourne’s first move was to imply that regalswag was blinded by “internalized racism”:

It’s incredibly important that the real people who are affected by everyday racism have the loudest voice when speaking against it.  

As someone who does not experience racism, I do not want to take center stage away from someone who does have those experiences and can speak from them.  

At the same time, internalized racism is absolutely a thing and it’s both a cause and a symptom of the way media (among other things) influences our opinions and aesthetics.  All races can internalize racism against other races and even against themselves without realizing it.  

Internalized racism is incredibly pervasive but also subtle, subtle as thinking a billion dollar game company shouldn’t have to include more skincolor options because “only a few people will roll that option, why does it matter??”

So, when a black person (regalswag) disagrees with a white person whose only experience of racism has been the perpetration of it (lobstmourne) on the subject of how best to represent black people in video games, then it is the black person who must be wrong.

Next, lobstmourne blocked regalswag from his Tumblr – which is his right – but also had the side-effect of making all of regalswag’s replies to the discussion invisible – literally erasing the counter position offered by a person of color and the only black person (up to that point) to have replied to the thread.

When this was pointed out, lobstmourne defended himself by saying:

I actually blocked you because of all the shitty snarky comments you kept making on otherwise positive posts from people being excited about darker possibilities for blood elves and about including more skin options in general, and I did so long before you made that big response.

I understand your animosity towards me and I don’t blame you, I do not have the experience with everyday racism that you do. I do not want to invalidate your experiences because they do matter.  Your opinion does matter.

In addition to the obvious tone-policing, this excuse exposes a double standard as lobstmourne himself and his friends were not held to the same strictures. As previously quoted, lobstmourne had no trouble telling people to “eat shit” and immediately after regalswag’s rebuttal he had posted:

"Also, to clarify, I think you are a great artist as are many of the people that have taken up this [cause], but I guess I don’t see why you’re wasting your time doing this when you could be effective more substantive changes on more important things.  If this really means something to you, please don’t let it become a meme.”

I’m not going to directly link the racist pissbaby who sent this, but let me say this:

There are few things more important to me than representation and inclusion of POC in popular media.  Media influences literally every aspect of our lives and the lack of representation perpetuates the popular, internalized, grossly unchallenged notion that white is the default and all other colors and cultures are abnormal, that darker skin isn’t “pretty,”  that other races aren’t intelligent or interesting enough to be the hero.

I am one person, I cannot change the world alone, but I will do what I can to make something I enjoy (WoW) more diverse and inclusive.   True there is no africa, no america, no india, no china, no pacific islands, etc. in Azeroth, but that does not mean darker skinned characters cannot or should not exist. 

Why are people so content with a mostly-white Azeroth?  Because mostly-white is what they’re comfortable with, because that’s all they see in media.  Exclusion should not be comfortable and should not be tolerated.

Darker skinned people need to be more visible in our media including our imaginary fantasy worlds.  

If you don’t think that isn’t hugely important, keep your pure white dreams to yourself please.

Keep your pure white dreams to yourself, or at least off lobstmourne’s pure white Tumblr. The lesson here is that disagreeing with a privileged white male about how to better achieve equal representation means that you are a “racist pissbaby”… albeit an internalized racist pissbaby.

Lobstmourne’s friends were also quick to attack the character of regalswag and – for the sake of thoroughness – his girlfriend.

see I thought I remembered correctly about regalswag being shit


Regalswag and perfectperfidy are some of the shittiest members of tumblr. They attacked Dogslug for making a dark skinned blood elf about a year ago, or close to.

For reference here is dogslug’s art that regalswag had suggested looked like a case of fetishizing “blackness,” a concern echoed in the recent discussion.


Art by Tagged #you just jelly.

So, regalswag’s concerns are already part of an existing multi-fandom dialogue about the appropriateness of rendering multifaceted identities down to fetishes or turning sexual identity into a “kink” and allowing members of the privileged class to transgress by co-opting the “subversive other.”

Art of this “Blood Elf as ‘sassy black woman’” type reinforces the potential danger for a virtual “black face” should white consumers who see blackness as an aesthetic and not an identity be encouraged to make black avatars.

What we see is a recycling of racist tropes presented as inclusion or representation, but, in actuality, it is just a doubling-down on the existing racial narrative.

In the words of lobstmourne:

Being POC doesn’t magically absolve you from internalizing racism or perpetuating default white standards.  Happens with the way media influences people.

If they are POC irl then I will not question their struggles, but a lot of the commentary I’ve seen from them on the topic of darker skinned characters and options being included in WoW has been gross and negative.  

White people see characters that look like themselves all the time, white humans and elves and dwarves for miles in all directions.  With how few darker options there are (for some races 0), I have a hard time understanding the resistance to seeing skin options that more closely reflect other people.

White people see characters that look like themselves all the time, and now they also wish to get a chance to act for the “exotic” other – to recreate PoC as they believe them to be based on racial stereotypes and coded prejudices.

When I opened up this discussion in the thread, I received a response that, for me, encapsulates this dynamic (from waterbendingotter):

Except Regalswag and any of his friends are not GOOD members of their supposed community and NOT people to go to to ask for what good representation is. For gods sake, he tried to say that a race in WoW was racist for simply existing and speaking a certain way that, in reality, has zero ties to any of it.

If we peel away the immediate “no true Scotsman” and the misrepresentation of regalswag’s position, beneath it we see the old racist trope of the “good minority member” and “the bad minority member” – the “bad” being she or he who disagrees vocally or strongly. The good minority would listen when their white teachers tell them how to solve the lack of representation of people of color. And I suppose we white folks have a special edge in that regard, having ourselves created this system of lopsided mis/representation.

At the beginning of this long post, I said that this was really the same old racism dressed up as anti-racism or social justice. I make that claim because what we are seeing still privileges the white voice over those of the PoC that are said to be the subject of this advocacy. Also, the prime benefit here is not so much representation as it is giving white players access to, what for them, is an aesthetic option while reducing racial and cultural identities to a single superficial feature – which would only produce, in this context, dark-skinned avatars with stereotypically white features.

What I find most troubling is the way, exhibited here, that certain corners of Tumblr have found a way to co-opt the energy of anti-racism and to use it to reinforce the existing structures of racism by continuing to divide those locked out of the system into “good” and “bad” minorities using “internalized racism” as a rationalization for why white folks still know better. Representation cannot happen until people of color are allowed to represent themselves instead of having their message channeled through “advocates” who only represent their own interests.

Okay I’ve been getting a little bit seriously fucking angered about how we’re handling the Ebola outbreak. Mainly, because the only thing I’ve heard on the news is the single death in America, which is horrible, I’m not doubting that, but doesn’t change the fact that 4,000 people are dead of Ebola in West Africa, and no one is saying anything. I know that there are people talking about it, but there aren’t enough, especially when all we hear is about what we’re doing to prevent Ebola from spreading in the U.S. (which is obviously very important) instead of how we can help the places that are already suffering so much more than we are.

So feeling utterly useless, I’ve decided to provide you guys with as many good petitions as I could find as well as some articles and petitions so we can educate ourselves and make a difference.

The Ebola Fiasco - An amazing article that you should definitely read.

Petition to tell the Prime Minister of Australia to deploy helping forces.

Telling world leaders to act now on Ebola.

If you find any more petitions that you think would help please send them to me and I can add them!

Shima Aktar was an 11-year-old girl in Bangladesh when her father pulled her out of school and began planning for her marriage to an older man. Shima would have accepted her father’s decision were it not for the support of a local youth advocacy group that educates young people on gender roles, sex discrimination and early marriage.

Now that she knows her rights, Shima is fighting hard to assert them, joining a grassroots army of young women in Bangladesh who are determined to change traditional views about gender. According to UNICEF, some 600,000 adolescents around the country — 60 percent of them girls — are now educated on issues like the legal marriage age of boys and girls, as well as the importance of education and family planning.

Read more via IPS News Agency.