If you hold back on the emotions—if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely.
Help, Menopause Ruined My RV Vacation!

Ask Amy, 13 September 2014:

Dear Amy: When we were dating, my wife was the sweetest woman in the world. She didn’t make a move without asking me. We had a few kids. She stayed home and raised them while I worked. The kids grew up and went off on their own. The wife got a part-time job to keep herself busy. Then she got promoted. Now she works full time, goes to business lunches and dinners, meetings and training sessions. She comes home, cooks and cleans. She doesn’t ask me what I’d like for dinner but makes whatever she feels like. Our plan was for me to retire when I turned 62 (she’s 57), buy an RV and travel the country. Well, we bought the RV, but she can only go on weekend trips. Vacations are saved for when the kids come home. She traded in the car I bought her to tote the kids around for a sports car that I can barely fit in. Now she’s talking about getting a smaller house because she doesn’t have time to clean “a big empty house.” I keep telling her we will have grandkids one day and she will be glad we have all the space. She’s changed so much in 37 years that I don’t even recognize her, and I’m afraid one day I will wake up to a “for sale” sign in my front yard. How do I convince her she is just going through “the change” and in a few years she will be back to normal again? — Mystified Mike

Dear Mystified Mike,

Boy howdy, the ole’ ball and chain sure has pulled a fast one on you! Time was nice ladies like ole’ wifey knew their place. (Slightly behind you but never out of sight, holding a dishrag.)

But here you are today, seeing your wife bring in an income and cook and clean your home while you pine away for an RV you can’t use unless she’s in it—I mean, it’s not like it’s going to clean itself during a trip to Flagstaff, is it?

When you married your wife, she had a lifetime obligation to stay the same person she was on your wedding day. That’s what long-term partnership is about: wives graciously taking orders from their husbands for their entire lives, until they drop dead on the ironing board. You understand this, but your wife clearly doesn’t—and for that, you can definitely blame menopause, the only possible cause of your wife’s desire to be an independent human being with her own interests.

Nothing besides a totally natural hormonal change could possibly have compelled her to seek out new occupations and hobbies after the make-up of her life shifted away from the daily tasks involved in raising your children for you—certainly not the prospect of living under the thumb of a man who takes offense to the purchase of a sports car for the rest of her god-forsaken days.

What, are you supposed to cook dinner? Mop a floor? Have an open and honest discussion with your wife about household purchases and meal planning? No man should ever deign to engage in such offensive activities with his helpmeet. Nevertheless, you may have to gently suggest to her that she’s getting a little uppity these days, and has she talked to her doctor about her bizarre and offensive interest in acting like an autonomous human?

After all, your dinner is at stake.

We hear “do what you love” so often from those few people who it did work for, for whom the stars aligned, and from them it sounds like good advice. They’re successful, aren’t they? If we follow their advice, we’ll be successful, too! And a crow will turn white as swan if only it lives in a pond and eats weeds.

We rarely hear the advice of the person who did what they loved and stayed poor or was horribly injured for it. Professional gamblers, stuntmen, washed up cartoonists like myself: we don’t give speeches at corporate events. We aren’t paid to go to the World Domination Summit and make people feel bad. We don’t land book deals or speak on Good Morning America.

Advice is just something we would have told our younger selves. But we are all different with different life expectations and abilities. A globetrotting heir to a vast fortune will have a much easier time finding and doing what they love than a young mother in the rust belt with three jobs.
Pizza Man

Me: Girl, I need advice.

Willam: What’s going on?

Me: Girl, there’s this guy and he’s keeping me as his side piece.

Willam: You make him wear rubbers?

Me: No… 

Willam: *scoffs* STUPID. What if you get pregnant?

Me: I know, I know.

Willam: I mean if you’re fine with it..

Me: That’s the thing, I’m not.

Willam: It’s like this. You want a whole pizza. And he’s only willing to give you a slice. But you’re so hungry, you’ll just take whatever slice you can get. So you have two options. You either stop being hungry or you starting getting your pizza somewhere else.

Studying Tips!

This is how I study and take notes. I’ve adapted this system from many other tumblr posts I’ve seen, as well as from guidance from teachers in school. Hopefully you will find something useful in this post!

1. Quick Pre-Read/Annotation: Before class, quickly flip through the lesson of the day in your textbook or handouts and highlight things that jump out at you: key concepts, vocabulary words, that kind of thing. This is so you aren’t walking into a lesson completely blind and you should be able to form some questions to ask in class as well.

2. Rough Draft Notes: I bring a spiral bound notebook to each class; this notebook is for rough draft notes. Make the headline bold and include the lesson title, page numbers, and the date. Don’t worry about neatness, just try to get complete notes that you can condense and make cohesive later. Also be sure to write down any more questions that come up, so you can get them all answered sooner rather than later.

3. Annotate Further: After class but ideally on the same day, annotate your class readings or textbook and your RDN further. If this is math or science, make connections in the margin of your textbook between examples and theories or proofs. If you’re studying English, annotate for deeper concepts and meanings, as well as for syntax. Use sticky notes to write down and mark any questions you may have, as well sticky tabs to indicate pages that hold especially important information.

4. Do The Work: Work out all your math problems. Read your novel for English. Listen to Spanish radio. The only way to truly learn the material is if you practice, practice, practice. Also, I try to take full advantage of my math and science books. They’re usually filled with extra problems, projects, and pre-tests that can greatly aid in understanding the material and possibly boost your grade up a few points, as well. 

5. Final Draft Notes: Mondays and Tuesdays are my “study days,” where I take my annotated readings and rough draft notes and condense them all into “final draft” notes. I find Cornell Notes to be very useful in this purpose, but any style works, really. When using the Cornell style of note taking for a final draft, i make sure the left-side questions are all deeper meaning and yet answerable, not clarifying questions that I would need to ask my teacher. If this is math, you should style your FDN like a typical textbook page: have a vocab section, multiple example problems fully worked out, and theories written out in your own words. If these are notes for a book you’re reading in English, it won’t be too different. Have a vocabulary section, a syntax section, an important quote section, and a final section with historical or outside connections that you can use when writing an essay. I store my FDN in chronological order in three ring binders divided by class that I keep on my desk at home. These are my study guides for use when writing essays, doing research projects, or studying for exams.

There you go guys, oh and also these coffee recipes might help: x

Reblog if you think it’s a cool idea to make a tumblr page where you can see girl selfies, news about lesbian-related tv shows/movies, workout tips, flirting tips, advice about girls, interesting lesbian-related stories, dating/making friends (example, I’d write: “Everyone who is from England like this post.”), lgbt music news. And similar.

Well that’s what I’m doing.

anonymous said:

I've been together with my bf jonny for a year now. It's a serious relationship, we know each others family and we live together, even have a dog together. But sometimes jonny gets a bit emotionally abusive. He's never laid a hand on me that I didn't wait laid on me. But sometimes he attacks me verbally and it hurts much, much worse than any punch he could throw. I told my om I don't think this is going to last and she said I was overreacting because they are ' just words'. What do you think?

I think any abuse within a relationship is super unacceptable. 
I am also a person who knows how destructive someone’s words can be. 
" Just words" have meaning behind them, and sometimes when bad enough, stick with you forever. 
and even on the good days you hold out to have with him, you’re probably wondering ” How can you act like you didn’t say what you said, how can you smile and pretend like we’re put together and happy. How do you think your words have no consequence. How can you love me, yet have so much hate inside for me that you often tear me down” 

It makes the fun times less fun. 
and unfortunately sometimes, when abusers know you can tolerate what they dish out, they ” step up their game ” they will bend you until you break and sometimes the verbal abuse is only the starting  point to a run that you might not last to the finish line. 

No matter how serious this relationship is, even if your families know each other, even if you live together, you don’t need to justify leaving to anyone. You have the right to protect yourself, you have the right to say ” I don’t deserve to be treated like this, disrespected like this, and no matter how many times you apologize to me, it will not erase the damage you’ve done.” 

Don’t wait until it get’s worse, you don’t have to live a life with him that makes you feel sad and small, that makes you need to hope for a good day. 

You’re in control of yourself, and I’d say there are other living arrangements and men in the world, that will make you feel a lot more comfortable and happy than you are now. 

Please do what’s best for you. 

3

(My bff Indigoliz)

You ever find some of your fanart on those “BadSonicFanart” blogs? You notice a lot of traffic to a particular piece of art that happened to be your Sonic FC and were disappointed that the traffic was just people there to laugh at you? Are you just a small blip in the DA/Art Sites radar but still grind on because you love what you’re doing?

Check out this DA Account Here. Hilarious, right? Wonky style, horrendous colors, unfunny terrible comics and downright lack of any willingness to apply that highschool art class knowledge?

That was me. All of that is me. 6 years ago.

Don’t lose hope. Do not lose faith. Your light will shine when it needs to. For now, prepare yourself for that time when your chance to shine will come. Stay strong friends.

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