I DID IT! My first Thanksgiving sober! I will tell you, it was not easy. Yesterday was a big test. Actually, the last few days have been. In anticipation of the holiday I’ve been anxious, depressed, confused, happy, sad and angry. My emotions have been erratic, changing from minute to minute and sometimes I have felt everything all at once.
I have held Thanksgiving dinner at my house for several years. This year, for obvious reasons, I chose not to, so my sister did the honors. I implemented what I learned in meetings when planning my day. Things like have an escape route, have someone to call in an emergency, etc.
The dynamics of my family have been off kilter for awhile. There is stress, resentment, grudges, poor communication, conflicting personalities, you name it we’ve got it. So not only was I anxious about all of us in the same room, I was anxious about handling it sober. But once I walked into my sister’s house all my anxieties went away… well, almost all of them. My desire to drink went way down on the 1 to ten scale and I was just happy to be with my family. It was a great day.
Every challenge that I overcome without drinking gives me strength, pride and courage. I grew stronger yesterday because I accomplished something that I had not been able to for 10+ years (actually I never even tried to), and I have more pride in myself because of this. I remained sober on a day that I previously had not and that gives me the courage I need to stay sober today.