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Tasty - Addiction (chinese ver.)

I started drinking young
All I cared about was having fun

I didn’t care what people think
All I wanted was another drink

After while I was drowned 
With no one to turn around 

I’d get drunk and try to play it cool
But I was looking like a fool

I thought the booze was a friend of mine
But it keeps lying to me all the time

I didn’t think that it would make me lose it
Somehow I keep forgetting you already said it 

When I almost died drinking alone
I knew something was wrong with me all along

I broke down and ask for help
Knew I couldn’t do it by myself

I been sober for a while now
Fighting with my demons on the low

A tough fight each and every day
But I’m strong enough toss it away

- Hedonist Poet

April of last year I tried to kill myself. My father kicked me out, I was shooting up meth, my ex broke into my grandma’s condo and lived there for a week after stealing 600$ from my bank account and then broke up with me while I was in the mental hospital, my best friend then made out with that ex the next day, I became homeless, had a miscarriage, suffered from anorexia- nervosa binge-purge subtype, and generally believed my life was worthless. I coped with all if this by cutting myself and doing dope. When that no longer worked, I drowned myself in pills to end it all.

Now I am sober, happily in love and engaged, pregnant, working as a nanny, and really really happy. Yes, it does get better! I tried to kill myself, and I almost succeeded. In the hospital, my family was told I only had a 50/50 chance of waking up. I’m so glad I did!

If anyone out there ever needs someone to talk to who understands, I’m here! Always!

If anyone can donate anything to me via western union to help me cover the cost or gas or something for my daughter to do during my procedure I would appreciate it more than you know. I figure with everything I still need around $150 because I have to travel quite a way away to get to the clinic but this was the only clinic in the area that offered me financial assistance. So instead of being close to $900 my procedure costs $325. They also have a $20 off coupon so it’ll be $305. I currently have $170 and I’m trying to hard to come up with a way to make money today. I feel like absolute shit begging strangers on the internet dr donations but please if there is anything any of you can do please help me.

I just can’t have another baby right now. I can’t continue this pregnancy. I’m working so hard on my recovery from addiction. I’m trying to find a job, I’m trying to better my life and the life of my 3 year old daughter. Having another child right now would be a complete disaster. I’m so unhappy right now, I don’t even know how I got pregnant I was trying to prevent it. I literally feel trapped and I want this pregnancy to be over. I can’t stop crying I feel trapped and scared. Please help me.

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