Regarding Teahouse

I know a some strangers are really angry about my reaction to Teahouse ending. But that’s okay because they either don’t get it or don’t actually care.

I’m not angry that Teahouse never finishes in it’s original format and won’t be on sale anymore. I’d actually prefer to not know the end and hate the idea of summaries. Feels like a cop out.

I’m angry because we as artists can’t let “real life” defeat personal creative self expression. EVER.

Sure you say it was just a yaoi web comic, but it could’ve been a damn crappy sonic the hedgehog fan comic or the last of the Game of Thrones book and I’d still be pissed for the exact same reason.

Unless you realize you don’t love it anymore, then you should never, never, NEVER quit ANYTHING!

You do whatever it takes. Draw in pencil. Write or sketch a page or even a panel of script a night and never post it, but ten years from now, it exists and you can feel proud that you finished.

Imagine if TMNT or The Walking Dead guys quit cause real life happened. Or the people of LICD.com Shortpacked.com 8bit theater and the countless of other successful, popular Self published comics quit.

I even respect Saturnalia more because they didn’t lie. They ended the story (though abruptly) to work on another personal work.

You can buy the whole school and job and being married excuses, but that didn’t stop other people.

Again I’m saying this because I care.

If I had friends and I had been working on something for years and then just up and quit like that, I’d want them to be pissed and hold me damn accountable.

Because that’s how shit gets done. That’s how your favorite book, show, movie, play, comic, etc got finished and out in the world.

That’s why!

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Ex-Parliamentary Budget Officer Kevin Page on muzzled scientists, secrecy and “broken” government

"There’s no accountability. It’s completely, completely broken," said former Parliamentary budget officer Kevin Page, who was hailed as a "national hero" for insisting that federal government be accountable for its spending. 

Before he stepped down in 2013, Page exposed the federal government’s overspending of billions of dollars on F-35 jets, the war in Afghanistan, and challenged Harper’s claim that government couldn’t afford to maintain Old Age Security for 65-year-olds. He took the federal government to court for refusing to provide details on its austerity budget, which earned him the wrath of the Prime Minister’s Office. 

Page spoke out about the lack of trust in public service, as well as the damaging effects of government muzzling of scientists. 

"I hear this more as I get on to airplanes, but the public servants, they’re saying, ‘Kevin, you have no idea how bad it is. They’re pulling us off planes, saying we can’t go to conferences, we can’t speak to anybody,’" he said in a video interview with political group Operation Maple.  

Watch the full video here: 

I’m very solution oriented. When someone asks a question I try to answer it as concisely as possible.

Sometimes I come across as insensitive.

Sometimes I am insensitive.

Failing to communicate compassion is definitely a flaw of mine. Sometimes it’s there. Sometimes it’s not.

On this Thanksgiving I’m grateful for people who remind me to temper Biblical fact with empathy.

I’m grateful for people that have given me the benefit of the doubt and have read sympathy between the lines.

I’m grateful for a God who promises to continue to change me and fix these broken parts of myself.

Thank you.

Canada’s federal police continued to snoop on Canadians’ cellphones and computers for at least a month after the Supreme Court ruled it unconstitutional, new documents prove.

Financial records obtained by VICE through the Access to Information Act show the extent to which the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) used federal legislation to obtain information on Canadians from all major phone companies without warrants. Instead, police paid small fees for each of these requests.

The Supreme Court ruled that practise illegal in its June 13, 2014, decision on R. v. Spencer, writing that police need judicial authorization before making those sorts of requests.

However, the records show Telus and Bell both continued to fork over Canadians’ information even after that decision was handed down. […]

VICE’s analysis of the records show that the RCMP paid over $1.6 million to Canada’s cellphone companies since 2010 in order to skirt the normal process of having these requests approved by a judge.

The documents only deal with the RCMP, which is primarily tasked with federal investigations like child pornography and terrorism, but also do basic criminal investigations in many towns and cities. The documents do not include data from provincial police forces, who likely made the bulk of these Personal Information Protection and Electronic Documents Act (PIPEDA) requests. Nor do they include the spy agencies Canadian Security Intelligence Service or Communications Security Establishment Canada, or the Canada Revenue Agency, which have also been known to use the process.

Spokespeople for both the telecommunications companies and the government deny that any sensitive information was being handed over through this process. Law enforcement often refers to the information provided as “tombstone” or “phonebook” information—usually a name, address, and phone number. All law enforcement needs to show the company in order to access this information is an IP address.

However, previous VICE investigations revealed that, thanks to the informal process and lack of oversight, police often used these powers to ask for, and obtain, users’ passwords, GPS location, and other other personal information. […]

Telus says that in 2013 it received more than 100,000 requests from law enforcement for subscriber information, and the vast majority appear to have been warrantless requests. Rogers received nearly 175,000 requests, but only half were made without a warrant. […]

I don’t wanna piss on anyone’s parade (really), but before you donate any money in memory of Leelah Alcorn, it would be wise to stop and evaluate the organization to which you’re donating. There have been some folks who seem to be hopping on this in order to get attention for their own previously existing efforts, and who suddenly are asking for money in Leelah’s name “to fix society.” How will they use that money? Well, that’s a little unclear. They *seem* to have no plans, no transparency, and no accountability, although this could just be a matter of poor communication/public relations.

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Ten Counterproductive Behaviors of Well-Intentioned People

[Image Description: The photograph shows adults of different races and genders. In the front, from left to right, are a bald brown-skinned man wearing a light blue shirt, a bald black man wearing a light blue shirt, and a blond white woman wearing a white shirt with a yellow sweater. In the back, from left to right, are a black woman wearing an orange sweater over a white shirt, a brown-skinned woman with long black hair, and a white man with short gray hair and a blue button-down shirt over a white t-shirt. All are looking into the camera and, except for the man in the back, all are smiling.]

January 3, 2015 by Cody Charles, Guest Writer

1. Quick to marginalize someone else’s experience.

I was walking through a hotel lobby with colleagues. We were headed to a conference social, wearing business attire. There were quite a few conference attendees roaming around the lobby area at that time, all wearing business attire as well. It was a fairly loud, mingling setting. An older white woman walked up to me and asked if I knew where she could get fresh towels. I was puzzled for a moment, which then indicated to the woman that I probably could not help her.

After the exchange, I looked at my friend in disbelief. Not utter disbelief or shock, because it was not my first time experiencing this marginalized view on the identities that I hold, but it did catch me off guard at my professional organization’s national conference — a place where we exchange ideas on how to better serve, educate, and develop the students that we work with. I remember telling a few colleagues later at dinner and getting this response: “I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that.”

When someone shares an experience like this with you, please STOP yourself from analyzing the situation. Listen, observe, connect with the emotion, and experience how real it is to the other person, which should in turn make it real to you. No questions; just listen and learn. Hold on to your questions, which are the manifestation of your wanting the world to be a kind, good-hearted place. It is because you see yourself in that older white woman. Get past that. Be there for your friend, colleague, and mentor/mentee. And maybe ask questions later.

2. Choose not to speak up.

You choosing not to speak up has either to do with the fear of your oppressed identity being pounced on or the presence of your privilege. Regardless, too often, the courageous few are tasked alone with holding the integrity of inclusiveness in spaces. Too often, the oppressed have to make a dynamic choice to either speak or stay silent. To stay silent comes with making peace with your inferiority to the dominant culture, self-hatred, and finding comfort in the status quo. To speak is to risk not being a team player, being identified as overly sensitive, pulling the race/gender/orientation card, not being asked to Happy Hour, not being considered for promotion, and falling into a simplified caricature of one’s already watered-down self. Do your work! Consider perspective as you enter and claim space. Pay attention, observe, and always consider that the ideas being explored in any space you enter are based on whiteness and a heteronormative, gender binary (specifically cis-male), abled-bodied, middle-upper class perspective. Speak up. Do not allow your colleagues and friends to take on the sole responsibility of shifting culture from “normal” to dynamic.

CLICK HERE FOR THE REST OF THIS ARTICLE ON WWW.THEBODYISNOTANAPOLOGY.COM.

Two worlds, one Christ

shadyyang asked: Hi. I have been hearing and seeing a lot of news involving the Michael Brown and Eric Garner tragedies! As a white male who follows Jesus, what is your take on how we should respond to the mourning and anger of black Americans?

Unka Glen answered: Oh, I think we’ve heard quite enough from white males on this subject, haven’t we? Just this last week I spoke to my African American sister in Christ, who had spent many decades living in the Ferguson area. After that conversation, I’m pretty sure that very few white people have any idea what really happens in these neighborhoods.

It’s just two different worlds.

I can tell you, after doing inner-city ministry for the past 25 decades, if you think police misconduct is rare, or isolated to the places you see on TV, then you simply haven’t been where I’ve been, and seen what I’ve seen. One can even read the reports that our local Chicago police force kept on themselves, and were required by law to make public. They paint their own grim picture.

Nearly every African American or Latino American that I’ve known has told me at least one story of police conduct that is so extreme, it’s hard to believe. The best preacher I’ve ever heard, a man of deep respect in his community, a PhD. for Gods sake, once told us about his experience of having police dogs turned on him. 

I’ve experienced a teeny, tiny, tiny bit of the same thing from working in these neighborhoods, getting pulled over, showing not only my driver’s license, but the chaplains I.D. badge that allows me into the jailhouse where I’m headed, and officers are emptying boxes of Bibles out onto the ground, digging through everything and barking, “Where’s the drugs? Tell me where you’re hiding the drugs!”

Like I said, hard to believe. 

Of course it’s also fair to point out that politicians, both left and right, work hard to prove that they’re “tough on crime”. They’ve discovered that fear is a great way to get votes, and once they’ve made you afraid, they compel the police force to be more and more brutal, because, after all, people are scared out there. 

The real question is, what attitude does the Lord require of us in situations like this?

Stand with the oppressed. Isaiah 1:17 says, “Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.” That’s pretty clear to me. Christians are meant to be there for people who are wronged and aren’t in power. 

Seek understanding. One can try to understand how a cop can be so overwhelmed and untrained, operating in an environment of (apparently) little or no accountability, that he commits an act of heinous misconduct. One can also try to understand how people who’ve been abused over time, can feel pushed to the brink, and suddenly it’s just one thing to many.

Seek accountability. Inner city neighborhoods need more professional oversight, more specialized training, and much more accountability. The last thing we need in all this tension is a cartoonish movie character “bending the rules to get things done”. We need more brains, and less brutality. You can support the police, but you can’t support police misconduct

Build bridges. If you’re white, and you’re a Christian, find a way, as a church, to reach out to a predominantly African American or Latino church. Ask THEM for guidance on how to proceed with achieving some unity. (Hint: the economic disparity between you should be the first item on the agenda, as scripture directs you in 2 Cor. 8:14-15).

Find the truth. You’ve said that you’ve been “seeing a lot of news” on this killing, but there isn’t much news in the news is there? Lots of opinions, and lots of emotionally charged images that keep jacking up the fear that drives this whole thing, and very few facts. Use this event as an excuse to find more reliable news sources, and avoid the rest. 

Seek peace. There’s a certain type of individual who likes to take the “brave yet unpopular” viewpoint, when it’s not brave at all, it’s just what a jerk would think. This is attention-seeking behavior, and if you respond to it, you feed it, and it never goes away. Find people who are looking for smart solutions to bring harmony and healing.

On accountability, Weight Watchers, etc.

Many moons ago I got sick and tired of being overweight, but had zero tools to help myself. Because I didn’t really know of any other options, by default I signed up for the Weight Watchers online program. And it worked really, really well for me. I started eating more fruits and vegetables, I learned about portion size, and I lost about forty pounds. I can honestly say that I don’t think I’d be the substantially healthier person I am today if I hadn’t gotten the ball rolling with WW those (nearly) five years ago.

After a couple of years I’d stalled in my progress, and—having learned the basics of healthy eating—canceled my subscription and switched to one of the free calorie counting sites. Ideally I’d eat intuitively, but I don’t, and this continued to work for me. I didn’t lose more weight, but I gradually came to accept that: a) I actually was at a healthy weight despite what I thought, and b) maybe this was my body’s happy place, so I should stop trying to force something unnatural.

Since this summer, I’ve started struggling a lot more with overeating, which I’ve talked about a bit here. I’d hoped that post-holidays I’d reign it in, and I have, but completely inconsistently. On my “cheat” days (hatehatehate that phrase) I don’t track and as a result I go waaaaay overboard, and way beyond eating just what I want to. Stuffing myself because THIS IS THE DAY I CAN. No bueno. I’m around 7 pounds above where I usually sit comfortably, and please. No protests of, “But ermagerd that’s nothing!” Because on my small frame it is. And I know where I feel my best.

Balance. I need balance and accountability. That’s all. That’s what has always worked. I just need something to help me achieve it.

And WW is doing their January special, so I took the plunge and signed up for three months of the service. Because it worked so well for me before, right? And I started plugging in the food I had eaten or am planning to eat today, at least the bits I knew. Some of it was nutritionally void (lolol thanks, Girl Scout cookies), but the rest was sound: lemon kale and quinoa salad with tuna, cara cara orange, and burrito bowl with chicken, tomatoes, black beans, and brown rice planned for later. Probably more since I’m planning to be on the elliptical for an hour this afternoon and I’m not about to fuel inefficiently during this grueling training.

I never got around to plugging in the rest of my food (like a bit of cheese and avocado for dinner), because I was only 2 points away from meeting my daily allotment. And that was only 948 calories. Those 2 points would have me barely cracking 1000.

And I’m sorry, but no.

Because the flip side to my experience with WW, and the part that I oh so conveniently tend to forget, is that it pushed me toward at least semi-disordered eating. Making it a game to never use up my weekly or activity points, even if I was hungry. Trying not to fill the void with “free” veggies or fruits because that was cheating, somehow. And though I no longer have access to these food logs, I continued the pattern on Daily Spark, eating a crazy low number of calories. I think my average was around 1100, and that doesn’t account for what I expended during exercise. And yes, I was definitely at my lowest weight, but I absolutely was not at my healthiest.

And staring at that tracker, seeing those sad, piddling 2 points looking back at me, I felt the anxiety rising up from my belly and closing around my throat. I knew where this would lead. Yes, I would lose the weight, but I’d also lose so much more—the ability to enjoy social outings, the ability to enjoy dinners out with my husband, the ability to not goddamn obsess about what I eat.

For those of you on this plan, please don’t take this the wrong way. I know that if I’d planned ahead better and loaded my eats up with way more vegetables and lean protein, those 26 daily points would probably have been closer to a much more reasonable 1400 calories. Again, this program did a lot of positive things for me, and my current negative reaction is largely just because of my own shit. I’m a big proponent of Whatever the Fuck Works for You. This is just not it for me anymore. I just need to stick with MFP, stuff more fruits and veg down my gullet, and chill the fuck out with treats.

So an hour later, I canceled. And I got on the horn with a rep and they refunded my money. So, on the plus side, I have really positive things to say about their customer service.

4

My Public Display of Self Love Journey


I have had a lot of people join my blog, Instagram, and Facebook page in the last couple weeks. Thank you so much!
I wanted to take time, and introduce myself. I live in Berkeley, CA. I live with my two children (7 year old daughter, Heart and almost 3 year old son, Monkey) and their father and my partner, Ben. Ben is an amazing father, partner, and talented goldsmith who makes stunning jewelry.
I run a 100 unit apartment building in Berkeley, and the four of us live in a one bedroom unit within the building. This makes for very close quarters! I have struggled with my weight and food addiction since I was 7 or 8.
I grew up moving numerous times, because my father is a physician and was in Army. I have always been a co-dependent people pleaser. It was very difficult to prioritize myself, because I did not believe I was worth the effort. I had an epiphany junior year of high school and committed to myself to get healthy. What started off well intended snowballed into an eating disorder. I sought help, and released most of the unhealthy habits, but cross addicted to smoking. I was now in college and had a pivotal moment freshman year. I remember needing to decide if I should stay in the sorority that I had just pledged, which meant to me reclaiming my eating disorder ways, or deactivate and hang with my dorm friends, and focus on the partying social side of college. I deactivated, and had a blast at the Ohio State University graduating with a degree in Sociology and Religious Studies. It wasn’t until I was sitting in my dad’s hospital room, in the intensive care unit, this past Thanksgiving that I wondered how my education could have been different. Feeing powerless and uneducated in a medical emergency created a desire for more knowledge. I do not regret much. Knowing that my journey has brought me to today is enough for me to feel grateful and blessed. I studied abroad for a year in college and got to travel to numerous countries. I’ve been to 27 countries, and am looking forward to more travel in the future. All though college and the years following I maintained a weight of 155-175, but was a smoker and not healthy. Once I became pregnant with Heart, and quit smoking cold turkey I gained 100 pounds through the pregnancy. I had gone back to my original addiction, food. More specifically flour and sugar. I had an easy pregnancy, but had sever post-pardon pre-eclampsia. It was scary and I feel very fortunate that I had a visiting nurse check my blood pressure and get me to the hospital. I had heard that I would feel awful after the cesarean birth (c-section) so, when I felt awful I thought that was normal. As much as I tried I could not lose significant weight. I tried diets, juicing, 12 steps, cleanses, weight watchers, exercise I could not get past losing around 15 pounds and then gaining that plus more back. I now had my second child, Monkey and reached my highest weight 320, and Monkey was born 11 pounds 12 ounces. I had severe issues now from my morbid obesity. I had diabetes type 2, hypertension, and high cholesterol. I snored and had knees that sounded like a choir of crickets. It was after a four day juice feast (fast), which I entered and exited harshly (without any graduation). I had severe abdominal pain about a week later, and was worried it was appendicitis, so I went to the emergency room and I did not have health insurance at the time. After ruling out everything they decided to give me a ct. They luckily found kidney cancer on the imaging. It was not what caused the abdominal pain, and based one the size of my tumor it may have been there for 3 years. Kidney cancer does not respond to chemo therapy or radiation, so surgery was the only option. They did a partial kidney removal, and my margins came back clear with extremely low chances of reoccurrence. However, my first ct following the surgery, showed a 8 mm new adrenal adenoma in the same kidney. I have a ct this wed (jab 28), but am expecting it to remain on the watch list for future follow up ct testing. That is the best case for a cancer survivor. I am trusting that I am healthy and will remain healthy, but cancer is insidious, random, unfair, and scary. I will never be the same as I was prior to the cancer diagnosis. However, that disease did not immediately motivate me to change my lifestyle. If anything I froze and stayed in a painful paralyzed state for 7 months. It was July 2014, and I had just watched an episode of Extreme Weight Loss on abc, and was in the shower. I was fantasizing about being swooped out of my life and put on a “fat farm” and supported with nutrition and exercise. (I know I’m the shower thinking about Chris Powell ;) it wasn’t like that) I knew that even on the rare chance I could have been selected, that would not be realistic for my job or my young family. I was brainstorming how I could do my own version at home. I got out of the shower and began to write a letter to everyone in my life. I was almost done proofing when, I accidentally sent the letter. I didn’t know that I had put this journey into motion until I got an emailed response a few minutes later. I immediately began to bawl and shake in my kitchen with Ben. I wept for the lifestyle that needed to be stopped, and the one that needed to be created. I wept for all of the despair and loathing that has consumed me for so many years. I cried tears of fear and happiness. I cried knowing I deserved to love myself. I cried knowing it was up to me to model that self love and self care for my children.
So, August 1st was my Day One party for my Public Display of Self Love journey. I threw myself a party and weighed myself in front of my friends. I gave a speech about my hopes and desires for this journey. I vocalized my intentions and my reasons for taking this step. For the last (almost) 6 months I have been working my butt off every single day to love myself, and take care of myself. I decided not to wait until I lost weight to like myself or enjoy my life. I have created a ton of accountability and community. I love writing and blogging about myself and my experience. I hired a registered dietician, Marni Weinstock, and met with her every week for months. I track my calories in MFP. I workout almost everyday, and I love it. I am now cross addicted to exercise. A healthier cross addiction. I no longer am diabetic or have hypertension or high cholesterol. I do not snore and the choir in my knees is quieter. I am in a new body, and I am reaping the fun that comes along with that. I have lost 56 pounds since August 1st, and lots of inches. I have lost 70 pounds from Jan 214 to Jan 2015. I only weigh myself once a week, and hope to cut back further soon. I have created community along with the accountability. I am obsessed with getting my exercise in at 6 am. One, so it is not hanging over my head all day. Two, I have better days when I have woken up and put my own oxygen mask on first thing. This past Monday, I broke through the 200 pound milestone when the non-intelligent box said 198. I hope to never see 200 again, but know that I could linger here for a moment. My life is full of non scale victories (NSF) now. Heart can put her arms around me and touch. Monkey can be caught and kept up with when he is being a naughty noodle. I can get a haircut or look in the mirror without avoiding my reflection and berating myself. I feel sexy and confident which is a plus for Ben and I. I am modeling perseverance, dedication, hard work, goal setting, and resilience to my children and myself.
I will not stop! I can’t stop! This is my life and lifestyle now. To stop would be to chose death. I chose life. A full, active, healthy, grateful, mindful, loving, honest, inspired, abundant life. Thank you for reading, and getting to know me. I would love to get to know you too. Feel free to post to the wall. I love seeing sweaty selfies, recipes, articles, workouts, quotes, and post.
I have so much gratitude for my belief that I could make a change. I am just getting started, and have the rest of my life to get there. Thank you for witnessing my transformation! Xoxo


https://www.facebook.com/Publicdisplayofselflove
http://publicdisplayofselflove.tumblr.com/
http://www.yowoto.com/posts/a-mom-s-inspiring-weight-loss-journey-to-save-herself-her-children-from-food-addiction
Accountability

by Zack Zarrillo

Friend of the site (and occasional byliner [1]) Mike Meeze tweeted out a question to James Shotwell, Jason Tate, and I today: Should websites be held accountable, at some level, for bands they post about?

The simple answer is yes — but nothing is ever that simple. In fact, I imagine that James’ or Jason’s answer to this question might be similar to, but also pretty different from, mine.

Ultimately, the decision about which bands we cover on the site falls on me. On a normal day, it seems clear which bands align themselves with my “general moral code” and which don’t. When it’s obvious that a band has no problem spewing sexist, racist, homophobic or generally hate-filled rhetoric into the world, it’s time to pull the plug. We don’t cover artists like Attila, Emmure and Capture The Crown for those reasons, and those reasons alone.

You’ll notice I that say “on a normal day,” because sometimes we do cover those artists. When? Well, typically, it’s in instances where they’ve made such a poor decision — in line with their ignorant beliefs — that I deem it worthwhile to shine a spotlight on their actions. Some might reply that giving press to those bands in heated situations will only serve to make them more popular. I’m a firm believer that not all press is good press. I would love to hear more feedback, though, from our readers on whether you think shedding light on a band with hateful beliefs is the right or wrong thing to do.

All that being said, I think the question goes beyond that due to the word “accountability.” If Razor & Tie, for example, continues to support a homophobic and sexist band, should we (or any other publication) sever ties (pun intended) with that label? What about with the band’s management team? Their agent? So many people are involved with one band, whether directly or indirectly. To pick on Attila some more, the band is playing Skate & Surf this May. Many have given the festival grief for booking the band. If PropertyOfZack doesn’t support Attila, but they’re on a festival — or a tour, like Warped — should we not support those events either?

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FMLS90 - Day 1 - 1.1.15

An Introduction

Aboot meh, eh:

I’m Danielle. I’m 28 years old and engaged to the love of my life. I’m also in week 21 of pregnancy with our baby boy! I’ll start this off by saying everything I do is with my doctor’s consent, so let’s settle any worries now ;)

 I’ve struggled with my weight my entire life. I’ve had periodic successes with various diets. My problem has always been a lack of consistency.  The lowest I’ve been in the last 5 years was 260 pounds during the summer of 2009. A dear friend was living with me, who was a vegetarian/health nut for religious reasons. He was my human garbage disposal, so I made effort to eat only what he would finish for me. As a result I ate a primarily vegetarian diet, cut out soda and anything with artificial sweeteners and high fructose corn syrup. I felt great, but had a very hard time keeping my sugar levels up as I tend towards hypoglycemia.

My goals are to be consistent with the following:

1. Being active every single day, even if just for 10 minutes. The point is to purpose to be active. Eventually I will add time, for now I’ve been doing  workouts that last ~10 minutes.  Track it. (MFP) At the moment I’m doing prenatal workouts videos and prenatal yoga.

2. Consume at least 100oz of water per day, and track it. (MFP) I am horrible with this. Pop has always been an issue for me. It needs to happen simply because it is in my best interest. No excuse.

3. Track my food, regardless of what it is. (MFP)

4. Stay around 2300-2500 cals a day. Although I must say I’d rather develop consistency in tracking primarily, and adherence to a calorie range secondarily. Honesty is key. That midnight sandwich or the extra pop need to be tracked without shame or feelings of failure. (MFP)

5. I would like to weigh 300 lbs by L&D.

6. Also, a daily selfie for 2015. Because I’m pretty, too, dammit.

My Champions:

(I was unbearably anemic at pinning! Ha!)

More than anyone on this earth, my handsome fiancé. I made it through nursing school because of him. He encourages me like no one ever has.

I don’t have a lot of people “in real life” that I’m open about my health with because of so many repeated failures. I know as I become more successful, I’ll become more open and will naturally populate more supporters.

I’ve got some good Tumblr friends though who always support my healthy choices, and I know I’ve got their ear if I need it.

My Challenges:

Being pregnant :) This is my first time having a baby, and I have no idea what that third trimester will be like. But so far things have been very, very easy and enjoyable. But honestly, being pregnant is a huge motivator factor for me!

Le fiancé is quitting his job on 1/10/15 to pursue an advanced CNC certificate over the course of the next 4 months. I will be our only household income, and finishing the last leg of my pregnancy. He graduates 2 weeks before baby is due. This scares the daylights out of me, but I have faith that this door was opened for a reason and we will be taken care of.

Also, I’m in need of accountability partners! Please message me if you need one! Even if we don’t know each other (yet)!