If you are going to wear a hat, make sure to calculate every second of the
day. This is due to the recourse’s your actions could take. i.e they might
take the wrong train while you speed along on a bike made of clams. If that
happens you can always poke holes into brick walls using a sharpened No.
3,000 pencil. I have had many successful hole pokings with a No. 45 pencil
but not as many as No. 3,000. You can buy them at any novelty shop in the
greater downtown area of Nutterbutterburg. Great place. Fell in love with a
statue of a statue of a tree there. Sadly it was torn down to make way for
a real tree, who turned out to be a real bastard. I loathe bastards, mainly
because I am one. Haha JK as John F. Kennedy liked to say. But I would
seriously suggest going to Nutterbutterburg and checking it out. They have
a wig shop if you are not into hats, though I might add, you should still
calculate every second of the day, since you can’t be to sure of when a
bird might call out your name to the founding members of Congress. What a
nightmare that would be! Do you sometimes yell at objects for not being
alive. Notions like that can really get me down, but thankfully I found a
cure in cold turkey. Ice cold and forty days old. Make sure it has some
hair on it’s chest like Avril Lavigne. What happened to her? I heard she
went to Moscow to ride a mule into the new generational dinosaur exhibit.
Most likely because she did not wear a hat. Either that or she didn’t
calculate every second of the day. Speaking of. What second am I on?
Nevermind, let’s get lunch.