"You're just looking for a quick fix"

If you use medication to make your life easier or better in any way, some people might object, and say “you’re just looking for a quick fix!”.


This is a mean and unhelpful thing to say.

Medication isn’t the right answer for everyone who has cognitive or mental health problems or pain or other reasons people take medication, but it can be game changing for some people. If you try medication and find that it makes your life easier, that’s a good thing, and it’s ok to be happy about it.


It’s ok to want your life to be easier. It’s ok if it turns out that there’s something that works quickly that makes things better. Using an effective strategy to make your life better isn’t being lazy; it’s being efficient.



Sure do love non-cognitively, non-developmentally and non-learning disabled people suddenly deciding that special isn’t an ableist term. Thanks for speaking over us that’s quite nice and not shitty

Do able-bodied people just go up to strangers with more visible disabilities and say, “Hey, you should get ______!” because, holy shit, I’m really tired of hearing people just going up to me as a stranger and saying, “Have you heard of/considered a cochlear implant! [pretends they know how it actually works and how you have to qualify for one]”.

Seriously, if I told someone that I was depressed, I would be empathized with.

If I told someone I have paranoid delusions, homicidal intrusive thoughts, and the fact that I’m autistic and bipolar on top of it all, well, I could only imagine the reception wouldn’t be as positive.

Mental illness is not a competition. Everyone who has one knows that.

It’s the uneven amount of understanding that some get over others.

anonymous asked:

Ableism is this blog saying 'privileged mentally ill people' don't deserve accommodations or support, refusing to apologize, and then putting itself forward as an expert on ableism.

Alright so first off, I’m no expert on literary criticism and I don’t understand how this trope got started from the original post, so let’s look back to the original post now shall we?:

As a mentally ill, queer woman of color i don’t really have any sympathy for privileged mentally ill people who don’t have to deal with other types of oppression having panic attacks or whatever when they find out about oppressive systems. I don’t have that option of turning away from this stuff, I can’t ignore it. The world is triggering for me.
Don’t like, scream at the person or otherwise do something to overtly make them panic when you have a conversation with them but other than that just talk to them like anyone else.
-queercomrade

Now, looking at the responses we should have been more proactive about this post, yes, but we never suggested that they don’t deserve accommodation or support,we simply said that in the context of talking about privilege, you do not have a reason to not learn about it.

People have summed this post up as being only a part of the first sentence, and have attacked queercomrade/this blog for not supporting solidarity, but an awareness of other struggles and an awareness of why those other struggles are happening is the first step to solidarity. If a person is unwilling to confront their own behaviors regarding intersectionality then they may by an activist but they aren’t going to be a good one.  A white queer person who doesn’t believe racism exists anymore is not going to practice solidarity very well, within or outside of their movement.  And their experience of homophobia doesn’t mean they shouldn’t unlearn racist behaviors.  Should activism be altered for one’s audience?  Yes, to some degree. Does this alteration include not teaching someone about oppression period?  No.

Secondly, the post I made, that slurs are not the majority of ableism, relates both to my own experience and to the experiences of my close friends.  Ableism has a concrete dimension to it: it includes the disabled minimum wage which is not even close to livable, the threat of institutionalization, being infantalized by authority figures so they can make decisions for you , and in many cases, an inability to work under capitalism and thus a devaluation of your whole self by state organizations and society.  The focus that tumblr puts on slurs in general is legitimate but misplaced; the forms of oppression I listed would exist without slurs, just as racism still exists even if people use slurs yet.

Are slurs still bad?  Absolutely.  We should just keep in mind that they are not the only way that people are oppressed.

Mod R

———

Since both of my degrees are in literature, lemme do that whole criticism thing that Mod R doesn’t.

"As a mentally ill, queer woman of color i don’t really have any sympathy for privileged mentally ill people who don’t have to deal with other types of oppression having panic attacks or whatever when they find out about oppressive systems."

At no point in this statement does queercomrade specifically say that she doesn’t think mentally ill people with other privileges aren’t mentally ill or aren’t deserving of accommodations. She says, very specifically, that she has no sympathy for those who are mentally ill and privileged who learn about systems of oppression and then experience panic attacks. Could she have stated this better? Absolutely. But I won’t begrudge her here for being as blunt as she was. When you’re mentally ill and suffer from multiple oppressive systems, it’s very hard to be sympathetic to, for example, a rich, white male who has even a severe panic attack when he discovers that there are people of color in his own country starving to death and being enslaved, raped, tortured, etc., in order to support his lifestyle. Which leads to her next point:

"I don’t have that option of turning away from this stuff, I can’t ignore it. The world is triggering for me."

This is precisely why she stated that she doesn’t “really have any sympathy for privileged mentally ill people who don’t have to deal with other types of oppression having panic attacks or whatever when they find out about oppressive systems.” And I completely and entirely see where she’s coming from.

Here’s some personal experience for you:

I was molested by a stranger at the age of 10 in my own neighborhood when walking home from my best friend’s house. She lived less than a block away from me, she had been told to go clean her room, and she heard my screams from the alleyway through her open window. Her parents thought she was just trying to get out of cleaning her room and refused to believe her. So she got to listen to my screams from her room. When I ran home and told my mother, she immediately called the police and we went from there. But here’s the takeaway from this:

I ended up with severe PTSD. My friend ended up with a slightly milder PTSD. She went through therapy, learned there was nothing she could have done, learned coping mechanisms for applying guilt in the right place, and went on to become a kickass activist for child victims of sexual molestation, rape, and sex trafficking. I went on to be severely crippled socially despite the therapy I went through, was terrified of my own thoughts for almost ten years AFTER the event, attempted suicide three times, and participated in self-harming behaviors that I still haven’t completely been able to get rid of.

Was her experience terrible? Yes. Absolutely. She was powerless to do anything while she heard me screaming. Did she learn how to cope with that? Yep. Did she have flashbacks to that event? Probably. But her relationships with other people were nowhere near as negatively affected as mine, she didn’t have to watch what was happening to me, and at the end of the day, she was still safe in her home while I was being violated less than 100 feet from my own home. And she recognized that fact and protected me in any way she could, which I’m eternally grateful for. But I already had depression and anxiety, and once the PTSD was added into that equation, I was essentially doomed. And that’s not an exaggeration; like I said before, I attempted suicide three times between the ages of 10 and 20. I’m sometimes shocked that I’m still alive.

But I recognize a few things about my experience, as well. My parents believed me without hesitation and called the police. My molester was found and brought to justice, and I even got to face him in court and read a statement right to that motherfucker’s face before he was taken away. My parents loved and supported me through every bit of my struggle. To this day, they try their best to understand what I go through every day, even though they often fall short. They praise my accomplishments and treat my failures gently. They acknowledge that I need psych meds and they don’t question it.

This puts me in a position of EXTREME privilege over other survivors. I know this, I admit this, and I accept this. I had support (and still do have support), I had closure (to a degree), my parents were still together (and still are). And all of this doesn’t even take into account that I’m a white woman, meaning I’m more likely to be believed in the first place. Women of color aren’t. But I’m also poor, grew up in poverty. If we had attempted to sue my molester for damages, we would have been seen as money-grubbing and my entire family’s economic history would be put on trial, severely lowering the chances that he would actually be convicted. I know this because the lawyer who represented me and all the other victims (yes, there were others, and there were many) flat out told us so.

So the issue of mental illness and privilege is very, very intricate and nuanced, and although queercomrade may have come off as abrasive and rude (and some people claim ableist), she has a very, very valid point. The world is triggering for me. I don’t have the option NOT to learn about systems of oppression, and I have very little sympathy for those who live a life of extreme privilege if, when they learn about the varied systems of oppression that exist, it causes them to panic. 

I don’t think this is an inherently ableist statement. I think it’s a statement that comes from anger and pain and a very deep place of helplessness. Because while someone who is learning about systems of oppression may be triggered by it, some of us are literally living those systems of oppression every single day. It’s like someone gets a paper cut on their pinkie finger and then wants sympathy from someone who lost an entire hand. Does the paper cut hurt? Absolutely! It needs a bandaid and Neosporin and care to make sure it doesn’t become infected. But you still have your hand.

And if anyone tries to gaslight that shit with an argument of “oh it could always be worse,” I will fucking destroy you. That’s not what I’m saying.

Finally:

"Don’t like, scream at the person or otherwise do something to overtly make them panic when you have a conversation with them but other than that just talk to them like anyone else."

Here, queercomrade states pretty bluntly that you shouldn’t actively attempt to trigger someone or make them panic when they’re learning about systems of oppression. That’s a shitty thing to do. She finishes her response with, “…just talk to them like anyone else.”

This means acknowledging their discomfort and anxiety. It means acknowledging that they may have a difficult time talking about it. It means having patience while they work through their own anxiety regarding the subject.

But it doesn’t mean that we have to personally feel something other than frustration. It just means that we have to outwardly acknowledge another person’s suffering. And that’s basically what this entire conversation is about.

Ableism is so much more than slurs, and yes, we should all work to remove ableist slurs from our vocabularies. But no one can, or should, police how we feel or think or personally react to different situations. Could queercomrade have handled that response better? Sure. But ALL of the mods on this blog can handle a lot of responses better, and I’m frankly surprised that this particular situation blew up as big as it did.

I think as members of the mentally ill community, we all tend to live on a hair-trigger, and we live that way because we really don’t have any other choice. Our every move is judged, from whether we medicate or not, whether we seek out therapy or not, whether we ever get an “official” medical diagnosis or not… Our coping mechanisms are judged, our responses are judged, and everyone seems to think they have the right to tell us how to feel, how to think, and how to react. I’m not even going to touch on the media’s representation of the mentally ill as somehow inherently violent. We live every day being told that we aren’t legitimate, that we aren’t productive, that we aren’t even good members of society, and that makes every single one of our illnesses worse.

Like I said this is a nuanced and extremely complicated issue. Ableism always is, always has been, always will be. But we need to be willing to read and think critically about what we claim to be ableist and how it needs to be combated.

-academicfeminist

If I had to make a list for parents of developmentally disabled children it would look more like this:

  1. Listen to your child, please, believe them, pay attention to when they are distressed, and when they are happy, let them communicate how they want and try to learn their communication, give them chances to type and sign if they don;t speak but even if they don;t do that listen to their flapping and pointing and crying to discern what they’re saying
  2. Talk to disabled people, never assume as a parent you know what it’s like, we have first hand experience with this stuff and are more helpful then ~autism parent~ bloggers could ever be
  3. Instill a sense of pride and identity in your disabled child, let them know their difference should not just be tolerated but celebrated, let them get involved in community activities and communicate with other disabled people
  4. Do not institutionalise them, mental institutions are places where disabled people are used and abused and it is downright dangerous to send us there. If you think you need more help raising your child please try and turn to family members and friends if you have them
  5. If they are having a meltdown do not jump on them, pin them down, restrain them in any way, we are not acting out, we are not throwing a tantrum we are having an involuntary reaction to an intense world and we will ride it out, let us do it and once it’s over offer us a drink or food or ask us what we need, let it be known we are not in trouble
  6. Don;t tell them how haaard it is to raise them or guilt trip them in anyway (‘I’ve looked after you alll these years’), that is manipulative and will hurt them, instead analyse why you think they owe you anything and why you find us so difficult
  7. Respect their boundaries! You may love it when children hug you but if your child is averse to hugs do not force them to hug you or anything similar, let them have agency over their own body, teach them it only belongs to them
  8. Encourage their special interests/stims/other clearly neurodivergent behaviours, we are ridiculed for them everyday we don;t need our parents joining in, instead let your child know how awesome they are and maybe join in with stimming and stuff!
  9. Do not try ‘miracle cures’ on them, things like giving them bleach, they are harmful and the idea that we need to be cured at all is awful, do not try and ‘fix’ your children, they are not broken
  10. Don’t kill your disabled children, you think this one would be obvious, apparently it’s not.

"some kids are failing this class entirely because they wont finish and turn in assignments, even though they know all the course material and are passing all the tests with As and Bs," the teacher says as they glance at me every few words.

little do they realize that implying shit about me and the fact i cant focus long enough to finish all the boring assignments and busywork isnt going to magically make me a Super A+ Student

I get in trouble a lot thanks to my bad memory. I really hate it. It feels so unfair every single time. You try living with fibromyalgia or any other chronic illness that gives you brain fog, and combine that with living with perpetual anxiety, which reduces your ability to learn and retrieve the knowledge from your long-term memory in the first place.

Ugh.

Hello all. I need your help.

I’m writing an article on ableism in the asexual and aromantic spectrum communities. If you are on the asexual or aromantic spectrum and have experienced any kind of ableism (against a visible or invisible disability) and you wouldn’t mind being interviewed, please contact me. 

White customer came thru my line today and said “nigger” and “retarded” to me jokingly in one fell swoop human beings are fucking unbelievable and I wish we were extinct

anonymous asked:

Do you even see the problem with this? You make transgender people look ridiculous and untrustworthy. Do you even see the problem with having a blog like this makes young people, who clearly needs help, fear getting the help they need and instead hide behind a facade and pretend that the problem dosen't exist. You make people think they are something they're not and making fun of ancient cultural rites. I really tried to understand you, but I don't.

Anon, you haven’t tried to understand us at all. If you had, you wouldn’t accuse us of making a mockery of transgender people nor of needing help. You have no idea what we are or what our identity means. Stop accusing us of being a problem when you can’t even recognize the problematic ableism and transphobia that positively oozes from your ask.

A decent percentage of otherkin are trans. I myself am trans. I and pretty much every other trans otherkin recognizes that there are two very separate things. Only trolls call their kintype a gender, and only bad trolls at that. But you don’t care. You want to have a reason to dislike trans people so you take the most obviously absurd trolls and use them as “proof” that we are some sort of proof to dislike trans people. All you are doing is victim blaming. You and everyone else are just blaming trans people for hurting ourselves. You would take any excuse or odd behavior in the community as a reason to demonize us. Want to know why? Because that’s what society has done ever since the first proper study on “transsexuals” was published with horribly skewed data about how all transsexuals were manipulative sociopaths. Want proof? Read this paper by Sandy Stone. Pathologizing transgender people is an old technique that takes many forms. It doesn’t change; it merely evolves. Once you lose one option (e.g. gender dysphoria being removed form the DSM) you start hunting for another thing to hate us and accuse of of doing to ourselves. If otherkin didn’t exist, you would find something else to accuse us of making ourselves look like a joke over. Stop blaming us for your hate and recognize your otherkin hatred for the thinly veiled ableism and transphobia that it is.

Oh, and on the topic of ableism, you want to know what? A fair amount of us are getting help for problems that, guess what, have absolutely NOTHING to do with being otherkin. For me, it’s depression, anxiety, panic, and AVPD. Some of us have psychosis. Some of us are bipolar. Some of us have derealization/dissociation/depersonalization disorders. These are serious issues that we require and seek therapy and medication for. You know what we don’t need it for? Our otherkin identities. And it isn’t because we’re hiding them either. In fact, many of us have told our therapists. Overwhelmingly, the consensus has been THEY DON’T CARE. Seriously. They don’t. Want to know why? Because it isn’t a mental illness. What is a mental illness? According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), it is defined as “a mental illness is a medical condition that disrupts a person’s thinking, feeling, mood, ability to relate to others and daily functioning. Just as diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas, mental illnesses are medical conditions that often result in a diminished capacity for coping with the ordinary demands of life.”

And otherkinity doesn’t cause any of that. If anything, it can enhance our lives and make it easier and more fulfilling to live. Yes, it can cause discomfort but not to the scale to make it a serious disorder most of the time. And for those few whom it does affect that badly, they do seek help for it for the most part. And because of this, therapists are not concerned with it because its seen as a relatively healthy belief and identity.

We have written this out for you time and time again. But you and so many other people just stick you fingers in your ears and yell at the top of your lungs because you don’t want to understand us. You just want a scapegoat to direct your transphobia and ableism onto. If you really want to understand us, actually read through legitimate blogs and stop believing obvious troll blogs. Stop victim blaming trans people for your trans phobia.

-Mod Badger

RONNIE NEEDS HELP - FUNDRAISER FOR WOMAN WITH CHRONIC ILLNESS

Ronnie's life in a nutshell: Ronnie lives with a number of chronic illnesses that not only affect her day to day life, but are eating away at her organs and cause signifficant sickness, chronic pain and fatigue. Despite a large amount of evidence from several doctors and specialists, she has been denied the Disability Support Pension. She now lives on $312 a fortnight, and cannot afford to pay for the doctors, specialists, numerous medications and necessary travel needed to treat her illnesses.

All money raised will go to medical expenses. She is on a number of medications, needs to travel over an hour each week to see her specialists, needs to update her CPAP machine (which assists her breathing) and will now have to travel to Sydney to see a specific specialist which will cost over $3000. And much more. So much more.

Without the money to pay for her medications and specialist, Ronnie frequently ends up in hospital with an IV line and breathing machine. Her medications not only improve her quality of life, they are keeping her alive. 

Throughout all this, Ronnie has still managed to stay positive and continue to help those around her. Before her illnesses became fo bad that she is now bed-ridden most days, Ronnie lead an extraordinary life of charity and volunteering. She has worked to help everyone from high risk youths and young adults in Australia, to children in Uganda who are still suffering the consequences of a bloody civil war. Although she hates to admit it, she is now the one who needs help.

Please check out the page, and donate if you can. Even if it’s only small amount, every bit counts. 

I really hate it when Autistic people are like ‘well I wouldnt want a cure for myself but its a spectrum and some people are so low functioning they need one!’

like holy shit how much do you want to throw your siblings under the bus, how much do you want to separate yourself from your community, how much do you hate yourself and other Autistic people that you honestly think that the solution for those who are more visibly Autistic is not to accommodate them but to ‘fix’ them?

if you’re advocating for Autistic people you need to be advocating for all Autistic people not just the ones who are verbal or have learnt how to pretend to be allistic

"Well thousands of people everyday can sit down for 3 hour labs without their backs locking up"

well boy oh boy mom that sure does mean my back suddenly isn’t locked an in pain anymore. that sure does make my scoliosis go away. thank you I am suddenly Cured

What you are about to read and watch and hear will be extremely difficult to process. It’s horrifying. I’m asking you to read it anyway.

It’s necessary, because we need to understand that this is happening. Not in some far off country that we can claim no control over, but here, in our very own back yard.

Please read. Please watch. Please listen. And then, please, for the love of God, act.

This can’t continue.

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“The first shock was in my leg. It was a stinging, ripping, and pulling pain that froze time. I was standing when it happened, and I immediately fell because I lost control of my leg. It hurt, but didn’t really register with me. I wasn’t afraid yet.”

source
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“I no longer had my meds, and I would get this itchy feeling, like a hundred ants under my skin. I would fight it, but then I would get a tingle down my spine, and then I would become terrified because I knew what was coming. My hands would get cold and shake. Then the burst would come. Like slamming my head on the desk over and over until the shock came. After that would be a strange feeling of calm and peace — because it was over with. I released the impulse and had gotten the coinciding shock.”

source
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“Some actual behaviors I was shocked for were: covering my eyes with my hands, covering (pressurizing) my ears, tic-like body movements, wrapping my foot around the leg of my chair, not answering staff within 5 seconds, saying the word “no”, shaking my head, tightening my fingers for more than 2 seconds, waving my hands in front of my face, 5 verbal behaviors in an hour (talk to self, repeating, crying, bizarre speech, nagging), tensing up, getting out of my seat without permission, not following directions, and attempt to remove restraints.”

[… more examples and stories within the original posted link …]

“They grabbed my arms and walked me over to the board. Told me to sit then lie down and started locking me in. I was begging, pleading that I didn’t do anything and could they explain what I did. Nothing. I didn’t fight, I just shook. My limbs went cold with fear, knowing what was coming and having to wait for it. She went outside the door and closed it most of the way so I couldn’t see her. All I could do was breath in shudders and kick my one leg that was looser then the other. Then she shocked me out of nowhere. And said “there is no hurting yourself”. One down, 4 to go. When they do this, time stops and everything around me would turn into a nightmarish cloud. I would just beg in my mind for them to hurry up and do it. But the whole point is to MAKE you anticipate. To fear, to suffer. Not knowing when it’s coming. The shit is so sick and twisted, it should be in a movie. They put this show and tell on that they care, but this is what REALLY happens. This is what really fucking happens. After about 10 minutes of agonizing mental and physical torture and 5 shocks later, they took me off the board.”

source

[… more examples and stories within the original posted link …]


So what do we do?

Start by clicking on the Occupy JRC Facebook page and hit “like” in order to follow the story and get action alerts.

Contact your Senators and Congressmen in Washington. Tell them we need their help. Tell them we need the Keep Students Safe Act to become law.

Call or write to the FDA and demand follow-up from last April’s hearing in which they considered a ban on aversive conditioning using contingent electric shock, but have yet to issue a ruling.

Call or write to the NY State Education Department, JRC’s biggest customer, requesting that they decertify the JRC immediately.

If you see a conference itinerary that includes the JRC as a presenter / participant, request that their invitation be revoked.

Tweet Bill DiBlasio, Mayor of New York City, the JRC’s biggest customer, @billdeblasio using the hashtag #CloseTheJRC. Tag anyone you think will retweet it, including me @diaryofamom.

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That young man screaming for help in the video? He’s my daughter. He’s your son. He is our brothers and sisters. He is all of us.

We don’t treat human beings this way.

This has to stop.

Jess Wilson, at Diary of a Mom