We-haven't-had-any-in-a-while!

Phone Call || Jivy

[Jake was typing up a response to Ivy’s text as he made his way up to his bedroom. It was getting late. Without any lessons after school, Jake had spent his time doing his Mother’s Day shopping, getting some homework done, and hitting up the gym for a couple hours before it closed. While he hadn’t necessarily ignored Ivy all day, he tried not to be too obnoxious about all of the texting they did. He almost always kept his phone in his pocket when he was around Marley or Ryder or Kitty or in Glee Club, in part to avoid nosy questions but mostly out of respect for his friends. It’d taken him so long to make friends at McKinley that he wasn’t willing to give them the wrong impression that he wasn’t interested or he’d rather be somewhere else. He didn’t text or drive and almost never touched his phone when he was in the studio or the gym, so throughout the day Jake honestly didn’t have a ton of time to talk to Ivy. Most of their conversations usually started during times like these, at the end of both of their busy days and ended when one or both of them were two tired to type.

Finally arriving in his room, Jake tossed his duffel bag near the door and collapsed into bed, grateful that he’d taken the time to shower and change into a clean shirt and pair of basketballs shorts. He could fall asleep just like this…but he hadn’t finished his reply to Ivy yet. Still a couple of sentences left to write, Jake hit Ivy’s name to view her contact info and let his thumb hover over the little phone symbol. He was supposed to call.

Jake still hadn’t decided if it was a good idea or not. It was a leveling up of this strange friendship they’d formed. And while Jake wanted to hear her voice and knew talking would be faster then typing out these insane blocks of text…he wasn’t sure he could handle being any closer to Ivy. Somehow, without even meeting, this thing between them had turned into the most intimate relationship he had. Every night he’d lie in bed and tell this girl everything, things he couldn’t talk to his friends or his girlfriend about. More often than not Ivy was the last person he spoke to at night and the first person he spoke to in the morning. As he lay in bed waiting for the dark screen of his phone light up with another message, he’d imagine her lying next to him. He wanted her there with him to look at and touch and listen to and talk to. It was a crazy kind of want that Jake felt to his core and it’d only gotten stronger after he’d sated his growing curiosity by creeping on pics she had posted online. So often he’d try to brush it all off as something less than what he strongly suspected it was. It could just be his overactive libido reacting to pics of a hot girl or it could be the fact that not being able to have her just made him want her more, or…more likely, it could be the fact that Ivy had “JP” on her wrist and someday he’d have “IH” on his. 

Jake had heard stories of soulmates recognizing each other through photos alone. But he couldn’t be sure if this was that. Ivy was being secretive about the initials on her wrist and Jake only had one on his. It was possible the attraction Jake felt was just his overactive hormones. Because even if he wanted Ivy, he didn’t want her more than he wanted to keep to the status quo. He was happy with Marley. He wasn’t ready for everything he and Ivy could be. It couldn’t hurt for them to be freinds though, right? It didn’t mean they couldn’t talk, right? Jake pressed the all button and held the phone to his ear.]

Hey. I was about to reply to your text but thought this’d be easier. [Jake held his breath as he waited to hear Ivy’s voice for the first time.]

((…Well, there goes my good mood. I just got called by work and told I’ll need to come in at 5 AM on Friday for fucking inventory. Which means I get to sit there for a couple of hours while a bunch of people count every. Single. Paper. In the fucking paper room. Fan-fucking-tastic.))

I’m kind of wondering if romance is a thing, like will I ever have that butterfly feeling for another guy? Will I fall for someone? I don’t know if any of that “crushing” feeling holds any weight. Like, do we really want to marry someone that we just get all tingly inside over when they’re around? Or do we want someone we actually admire, deep down? I just know that any “crush” I’ve ever had went downhill…whether I dated them, developed a friendship with them, or just watched them from a distance, there were always things I didn’t like. Eventually that butterfly feeling goes away, if not totally, then somewhat, and still there’s that sinking feeling that it will not work out. So is it really even worth pondering? Like if I meet a guy who just makes me feel that way, do I even consider that feeling romance? Do I consider it interest? Should all relationships be built on that initial feeling? I don’t know.

thoughts on living with your boyfriend part 6

We move into our new house on Friday. I’m 1 part excited 3 parts nervous as hell and 2 parts really upset that work didn’t give you off. C’est la vie I guess.

If there was ever any doubt that we weren’t comfortable around each other, the week’s events have made our relationship weirder and more than comfortable expressing our weird bodily issues. We had rather unfortunate events.

I get frustrated with you so easily and all I want to do is throw things and scream. I hit you with pillows instead.

You’re a bed hog. We need a bigger bed.

We’ve been fighting a lot recently. You’re stressed about work, I’m stressed about school, and we’re both stressed about moving this Friday. I’m sorry I take it out on you.

My mother was in town this weekend. We didn’t have sex the first night. Even though we weren’t supposed to as long as she was here, it didn’t stop us from doing so the second night. And we did it quietly….for once.

We went and ate dinner while being mad at each other. In the end we worked things out. When we got home, you threw up. You’ve had food poisoning ever since. I don’t know how to help you when you’re as miserable as you are. All I want to do is help.

Rebecca came home late last night before you started getting sick. We were in the middle of having sex rather loudly. She brought a friend over. That was really awkward.

you were supposed to come pick me up from class. I waited for nearly an hour before walking home. I had to walk down montgomery street. I was heavily harassed and cat called. You weren’t there.