ooc; So, I just want to make a formal apology as to why I haven’t been on much and why I’ve only been doing like 1-2 replies when I actually am on.
I’ve got some pretty high levels of stress in my life right now.
I’ve only been working at my job for a little over a month now and I feel like the attorneys at the office are expecting so much out of me and literally throwing things at me hoping I’ll learn by myself. I’m also the type of person that doesn’t like to ask for help when I know I need it. I’m also severely backed up on discovery. I have 10 cases right now that need discovery and they take very large amounts of time to do because if I miss one witness it could cost us the case. I’ve got so many cases I’m working on right now that I’ve started to become pretty anxious. I keep doubting myself and I’m constantly questioning if I’ve gotten things out on time or not.
I think I just got into a position that was far too much for me coming out of college, but I’m one that tries to please everyone so I’m just gonna stick with it even though I’m barely sleeping and eating anymore because of it.
Also, probably the biggest stress in my life is the fact that my grandpa is dying of melanoma cancer. I didn’t think it was that bad, but when I went down to Missouri this weekend I saw how truly sick he is. The doctors believe he only has days left and what’s worse is that grandma said once grandpa dies she probably won’t be far behind.
This whole thing has caused a lot of stress between the family as well. Everyone is yelling at everyone for not contributing enough time because God only knows when he’s gonna pass and people keep pointing fingers saying things like, “You’re not around enough. You need to be here more.” And a lot of the uncles are in complete denial that he’s going to die. It’s just…
Real life sucks for me right now, and I’m trying to keep things in order with work and family, but I feel like everything is crumbling away from underneath me and I’m losing more sleep lately and I completely forget to eat at work…
I’m really sorry if I don’t have the time to be on here, I just can’t dedicate much more of my time.