ok… so for the last few weeks, i have been struggling with my depression and it had been only been getting worse. The other day was my all time low. I couldn’t function, and several times i found myself almost/in tears. I didn’t want to be alive, and i couldn’t function correctly. Today, i still felt awful. Not so much as bad as the day before, but still, i felt dead, empty and worthless. I was wondering if i should go home early from school, since i really couldn’t focus on anything and i was pretty much drowning in my depressive state. I was a complete emotional wreak. In 7th period, i was totally unaware of the conversation in class, and when the teacher called me, i was lost and confused. I felt like i just just about to break down. Later in the period, we were given time to work on our assignments. I couldn’t get myself to do anything all the directions got messed up in my head. I had pretty much given up with with trying to understand, so i started to draw on my paper.
Thats when this girl who i barely even know (i had only talked to her once or twice before. we were lab partners.) slid this on my desk.
i was confused. I looked at her and asked if i could open it. She nodded, smiling.
This is what was inside
heres what it says:
"Dont be sad! Smile! Even the flowers are doing it! I know it seems really hard right now, but you can do it!!! Keep on Truckin’!"
This literally almost had me in tears of joy. This one person. this stranger had managed to pull me out of A LOT of my depression by doing something simple. by writing this wonderful little note. By reminding me that I do matter and that people actually do care about me.
After i read it i turned to her, almost in tears, thanked her and told her how much that her note meant to me.
After class, she told me that she had struggled with depression before, and that she understood and that i shouldn’t give up.
I don’t think i have really ever received that much kindness from a stranger. Right now, this little note means the world to me, as silly as that seems, but it made the world of a difference.
so, whenever you notice someone, who looks like they could need a hug, or if it seems that they could be suffering from depression, go out of your way to make them feel better. even if you barely know them. It could mean a world of a difference, and it only takes a few minutes out of your day. Don’t be afraid to tell them that they matter, or give them a hug, or do something nice for them. who knows, it might just save their life. you never know what someone is going through.
also, if you are also suffering from depression, dont be afraid to GET HELP!!! please, you need to tell someone that will care. Even if you don’t know what triggered your depression or if it just popped up randomly, like mine did, you still need to tell this to someone. It is literally the worst thing ever to bottle up all of your feelings. if you feel like youre about to cry in the middle of class, for heaven’s sake, don’t try to get through the period. ask your teacher if you can go to guidance. Trying to get through class when your mind can only pay attention to depression is not good.
I’m also open to talk to, if you ever need anyone, but its probably best to talk to a family member/close friend/counselor. you can also call the depression hotline:
US Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
US Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
(hotlines for other countries can probably be found online)
I hope that this story and information helps you!
Have a beautiful day, and incase no one has reminded you today, you matter!
~ <3 Nix