I wonder how long it takes Taylor to get these perfect clips of her cats for Instagram…Like does she spend hours chasing her cats around her house with a camera just hoping they do something cute!?!? I like to think so.
“I had spent the majority of my time alone, and the rest of it apologizing for my existence. To this day, I have trouble. But I refuse to apologize for being. I will not say sorry. I am allowed to take up space. The world is going to see that I am valuable, and I will not be ashamed of myself for any reason.”
barricadeur’s wipmadness project got me thinking. i just started a new job, and for the first time in my life i’m expected to write on a daily basis, an experience that has been terrifying and exhilarating.
i’m a last-minute perfectionist when it comes to writing. in school, i always started every essay as late as possible, procrastinating at least partially because i wanted the end result to be so fucking good, that how do you even start with such expectations? i’m not going to say i’m “cured,” but one lesson i’ve learned the hard way the last few years is that it’s so important to just do the thing. complete the thing.
finish the project and submit it. we have editors and teachers there to help us improve, if it’s not our best work. but chances are that the expectations you put on yourself are not aligned with reality. the stuff you think is shitty actually might be awesome. but you’ll never know if you don’t turn it in.
i can’t tell you how many papers i handed in late and assignments that i dropped at the last minute because i was worried i couldn’t do a good enough job. i think this feeling is something a lot of us feel, and it helps keep us humble. i’ve found it among some of my favorite people and creators. but eventually you have to let it go, especially when others have high expectations of you. it’s for a reason. it’s not magic or chance. you have to trust that they might be a better judge of what you can do than you are (credit to the brilliant soemily, who told me this).
no matter how much i try to predict what others are thinking and what they will like, i’m always surprised. people vary vastly in taste. think of the differences we have in fandom alone, and then how fandom is a concept we’d have to explain to others who spend their days obsessed with entirely different stuff.
i treasure all feedback on my stories, and i love it when people call out a line or scene. it’s often not what i expect, to my profound relief: oh, they liked that thing i thought was terrible! this snippet i almost didn’t publish because i was sure it sucked is blowing up on tumblr? wait, you saw what i was trying to do there?!
writing for you all has been the best teacher of all, making me get up every day with great expectations. but the main takeaway should be that i can’t predict what you, personally, enjoy, so i shouldn’t let that prevent me from publishing something that i, personally, am certain isn’t my “best work.” how could i possibly know my best work? that’s up for you to decide.
it turns out that what i’ve been afraid of, having to write every day for a discerning audience with a lot of opinions, has been my favorite thing to do. there’s other stuff about the job that’s not ideal, like any job, but of course i was too busy worrying about writing. turns out, that’s kinda my thing.
so…….i keep….telling myself i need to do this but i keep putting it off……..
basically i want to go on an unfollow spree.
anymore my dash is filled to the brim with things i don’t care a lot about. it might be because i’ve moved on from fandoms and it may be because others have moved on from this fandom. anyway. i want more tolkien on my dash and not wading through as much other stuff because i am no longer multifandom.
i used to be multifandom. i mean i still post the occasional misc other fandom from time to time. i used to enjoy having 84392474634 different things on my dash. but now i’m pretty much purely a tolkien blog. (well basically pretty much a bagginshield blog, but yknow).
but this obviously means breaking some mutuals. but to be clear: i’m not unfollowing people because i hate you or anything. we’ve gone our separate ways and that’s cool. if you want to keep following me go for it. don’t feel like you have to stop talking to me either if we’ve talked before. again, if i unfollow you it’s nothing personally against you. i just want to make my dash a place i enjoy and i’m sure people can understand that.
this is also a psa, message, sign, etc. to any other mutuals who don’t feel like they’d like to continue to follow me. again i understand we’ve gone our separate ways. or even if we are still in the same fandom if you don’t want to see nonstop bagginshield please don’t feel like you have to continue to follow me. honestly. i’ll be ok. you’ll be ok. we’ll all be ok. ok??
i will still be keeping long-time good tumblr friends and a few fandom blogs i still enjoy seeing on my dash from time to time but i am cutting down a lot on the amount of blogs i follow
this will probably be a slow gradual process over the next couple weeks to couple of months. but this is just so there’s a heads up that i’ll be doing this. thanks!! ♥♥
Summary: There’s one argument, at the beginning of everything, that Beatrice and Benedick might not ever resolve. And maybe, that’s okay.
Notes: Yay! Chapter 31 of 31! I’m almost an entire month late, but I’ve officially completed all 31 prompts of the LLFL challenge! It’s been so fun, I hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as I have. I was going to end on some big cutesy scene with everyone together, but I couldn’t get that scene to happen right, so eventually I gave up and returned to my NMTD fic roots: fluffity fluff fluff. Enjoy!