RYAN

‘Habeas Corpse’ (7x19) Detailed Thoughts

How cute was that? There are some episodes, nominally filler, that elevate themselves to another level thanks to the writing and the chemistry of our leads, and they’ve become even better after Castle and Beckett became a couple. Hell, Castle even lampshaded that fact in his explanation to Espo, that leaned more than a little on the fourth-wall. In many ways, this ep reminded me of Season 6’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’, which is a very good thing because that ep is one of my all-time favourites in the whole show.

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A collection of me and my beautiful partner’s photos for The trans day of Viability. My name is Clair and I’m a 16 year old trans girl and that amazing one of a kind gorgeous person on the bottom is my amazing partner. (Their name is Ryan and they are genderfluid.) As you can tell , I’m pretty damn happy in these photos and so is Ryan. That’s because I can express myself as who I am. If you’ve ever seen some of my old old photos that are probably still on my blog , you may have noticed that I’m barely smiling and look pretty sad. That’s because I was still identifying as male. I had no idea what being transgender was. But thanks to tumblr , I’ve realized that I am trans and its perfectly fine. I’ve always looked at my body with disgust and regret and when I look at my body wearing female clothes or makeup or even a girly scarf , I’m happy. I’m not mark , a sad lonely depressed guy who whished he was female and had long hair and breasts. (Even though I’m still breastless..) I’m Clair. Somebody who is very very happy. I can be who I am , thanks to both Ryan , for accepting me in every single way I am. In fact me and her both work on training our voices to sound more feminine and we talk about ways to look more female in my case and more androgynous in Ryan’s case. As you can probably tell , we haven’t met yet as this is long distance , or I would have posted some pictures of us together. But they are coming very soon and I can hardly wait. So expect some pictures of the both of us. I want to thank some people in my life who have been supportive. And that I thank for helping me become who I am. In no particular order : Hale :Thank you for helping me realize that its OK being trans. There’s no shame in it. Thank you for inspiring me and helping me and giving me courage to wear that dress. I couldn’t have done it without you , and I love you a ton. Serena : Thank you for being 100 percent supportive when I told you who I was. Thank you for encouraging me when there where times when I felt depressed and anxious. I love you a lot , thank you so much. Pyor. Your easily one of my closest friends. We are a kick ass team of trans girls , and we will kick ass. Thanks for helping me realize that I can be sexy and attractive while still being trans. (Also another thanks for helping me discover many of my kinks :3) I love you a ton. Nygel. We aren’t together anymore. And I know why , and that is not your fault or mine. But thanks for being supportive when I did tell you I’m trans , and still being in my life. I care about you and I’m glad we are friends. Phoniex. Thanks for being a massive dork and helping me when I was down. You’ve been super supportive in using my pronouns and everything and I’m glad we are friends. Your a kick ass person. I love you :) George. Oh my goodness. This amazing person means so much to me. They have been so incredible to me , and have supported me so much through out the years. Thank you for everything. I love this dork so much. Elaine. I.. I can’t thank you enough for everything they have done everything for me and I love them so much. Honestly they are my best friend and I can’t thank you for everything they have done. I love you so much. Them and their girlfriend are amazing amazing people. Ryan. My sweet babe..I love you so much. Your so adorable and perfect and amazing and I’m so glad your in my life sweetie. I can’t wit to see you. I honestly can’t wait. I’d like everybody to have a moment of respect for every trans individual who isn’t able to celebrate this day. From Leelah , to Blake , to Zander. All of you are beautiful and perfect and I wish there to be no more innocent deaths. Thank you for everything.

Trans day of visibility! I figured things out at 19 after a lot of struggling and not knowing anything. Tumblr actually introduced me to all of this and I am far from being OK but leaps and bounds better knowing who I am now. Its been a solid 3 years and I haven’t wavered in how I feel about myself now. In all honesty coming to terms with this stuff isn’t fun. I cried and hated myself and was really depressed realizing it but once you do sit and really assess yourself its a huge fucking load of relief. Still a long way to go. Sometime I’ll be able to start t Ina few years and keep moving forward. You gotta fight the good fight He/Him!

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Lives, Lived, Will Live.
Dies, Died, Will Die.  

Thank you to everyone who came out to this week’s Saturday Stream Request Roulette! :D 
The prompt was Bioshock Infinite AU, so I had to incorporate pilot Ryan somehow. :P Also, tried a much different style of painting this time, and I love the way it turned out! :D