Please help me (and my dog) move out of an abusive home

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Hi there, my name is Sasha and I’d appreciate it if you’d take a moment to read this, if not, tl;dr at the bottom.

I’m a 19 year old girl living with severe anxiety, depression, my pup, and an abusive father. 

For years, his abuse and attitude towards me has been grating down on me, which has not only worsened my depression and anxiety, but has led me to have frequent suicidal thoughts, caused me to self-harm, and caused me to develop multiple eating disorders. He always puts me second to his girlfriend. He leaves me alone at home with no food in the house, and the times he does buy food for me, it’s cheap and unhealthy, even though I’ve told him multiple times I’m not comfortable with eating the junk he buys for me. I’ve had to endure him screaming at me (sometimes in public) while I hid my face and sobbed in front of him. He’s done this to me on multiple vacations, too, and has led me to believe that I ruin everything; that I am a burden. Coupling this with my nonexistent self-esteem and my depression often leads me feeling dreadful and hateful. He makes me want to kill myself.

He doesn’t understand how depression or anxiety work at all. He yells at me when I cry, he tells me he gets pissed off when I start tearing up. He yells at me for being sad or visibly upset. He yells at me for feeding my dog in the house, he yells at me when he gets home and she’s in my room (even though I keep her with me to help with my anxiety and loneliness). He calls me lazy and dirty and tells me he doesn’t care for what I want. He tells me to “get over myself” and to “stop being so sad all the time; you have nothing to be sad about”. He thinks my mental illness is an “excuse”. He says all of this even though he knows I have diagnosed depression. He knows I’ve spent time in a mental hospital, he knows I’ve attempted suicide. I get tense and extremely scared when he gets home or when he comes in my room. He abuses me because he’s sick of my depression and anxiety. He tries to guilt me to do things and he tries to emotionally manipulate me. I’ve had nightmares of him beating me.

His abuse and neglect also applies to animals Because of him, my two dogs passed away in the summer of last year. I will keep out the details, but it broke my heart to experience two animal deaths within mere months of each other, and it hurt even more knowing I could have saved them if not for my father’s neglect.

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I know that my body is disgusting but I wish people would shut the fuck up about it. Leave me alone. Let me exist in my disgusting body. Just because you feel that I don’t have a right to exist doesn’t mean that I don’t. I’m so fucking tired of other people’s opinions on my body. I don’t give a shit if you hate it, I hate it too so it’s not like you’re telling me anything special, fuck off 


I’m talking about jedi anakin

the anakin who made a point of becoming the best he could at everything else he was taught

the anakin who was relocated after his formative years spent in slavery to an order of beings who had no ethical qualms at all about the use of casual mind control

the anakin who spent a decade under the tutelage of obi-wan “you don’t want to sell me deathsticks” kenobi

the anakin whose only known use of a jedi mind trick was several years into a psychologically shattering war as a last resort to get information to save two babies (and I quote, “well, do we have another choice?”)

and the thing is, though this wasn’t my initial point, that even after corruption, even after becoming darth vader, even after becoming an integral part of a fascist government, he’s guilty of a hell of a lot of things - stripping people of their rights, their lives, their comfort, but never their free will