30 Days of TAH - Day 23 - Beyond Belief Quotes
Okay, it’s been awhile since Day 12 when we did Sparks Nevada quotes, but you’ve now had eleven days to prepare for today, since you knew it was coming. It’s time for your favorite Beyond Belief quotes! Pick at least three, but go for as many as you want!
Today’s artwork was once again provided by the awesome groglog. Thank you, yet again! You rock!
No problem FYTAH, it’s been tons of fun conceptualizing designs. I love the quote posts, because they give me the opportunity to think back on all the great episodes and laugh all over again. The quotes that appear here are in no particular order with the exception of my favorite quote which I will save for last and bookend with an alternative take on today’s cover image. So without further adieu…
5. Pterodactyl on Third
Pterodactyle Jones: I began delivering packages for men in ties and jackets.
Sadie Doyle: The Maafeeuh!
(Sadie Doyle’s mispronunciations are often some of my favorite moments in a Beyond Belief segment, this quote in particular I feel encompasses how her well timed interpretations of a word can make me burst out laughing. Amazing!)
4. Wishing Hell Or The Haunting of Howard Schreder
Frank Doyle: Sadie, please. Do not taunt the nightmare clown monster.
Sadie Doyle: Or what? He’ll get in his small car with all his other friends and drive away? They can use the high occupancy vehicle lane!
Nightmares the Clown: Really, I’m not that kind of clown.
Sadie Doyle: Oh, oh. No clown friends? Sad clown.
Nightmares the Clown: I AM NOT A SAD CLOWN!
Sadie Doyle: Cloooown, clown, your male patten baldness is hilarious.
(All of the Sadie/Nightmares dialogue could be included here, but I think these quotes sum up their relationship quite nicely. There are a ton of particularly great one’s in ‘The Haunting of Howard Schroeder’ but I want to save more discussion of that episode for my final quote…).
3 & 2. The Bloodsucker Proxy
Johnny Vampire: Vampire names being what they are, the only limit is your imagination.
Frank Doyle: Alright, Johnny Vampire.
Frank Doyle: Yes, and your competition is essentially a pair of Italian greyhounds, a stiff breeze could take them. You’re a shoe in to win in a truel.
Johnny Vampire: What’s a truel?
Frank Doyle: Three person duel, read a book.
(Quotes 3 and 4 come from the same episode because with Bloodsucker Proxy everyone is in top form, but especially Paul F. Tompkins and John Hodgman. Their dialogues as Johnny Vampire and Frank Doyle provide some of the funniest moments.)
1. The Haunting of Howard Schroeder
Sadie Doyle: There is simply nothing in the world that could possibly frighten Frank and Sadie D.. Uh *Gasp* Oh! Frank look!
Frank Doyle: What is it, What Darling!
Sadie Doyle: A bee got in here!
Frank Doyle: What? NOOOO!!!
Frank Doyle: This bee is indoors! Circling like a very small air shark!
Sadie Doyle: He has a knife for a bottom and he can at any time tooshie-stab any one of us!
(I have a feeling this one is going to end up on a couple of lists, I adore this quote because it is a joke set up a few episodes back about the Doyle’s shared melissophobia and is one of the few moments we see them lose their cool. The whole exchange with the bee is hilarious, but I extracted these parts because they still make me laugh the hardest every time I listen. Also, tooshie-stab, the greatest word to describe a bee sting ever conceived.)