Some of you may know how bad of a spot i’ve been in lately, and possibly what i (half) tried to do last night.
I went to school in so much pain and i was super low. But then fate happened and the certain high-authority teacher that’s recently become involved (lets call her M) ran into me during my study period and she spent some more of her time with me, being so incredible once again, opening up to me and giving me more of a purpose to stay. Although this sadness won’t go away, i’m going to try my hardest to stay. It seems like because my respect for her is so great, her words are very heavy. I don’t want to disappoint her.
I ended up having a nice last day (where we do classwork) of school.
Went to see my psych. Lied through my teeth. Came out feeling even more awful than when i went in. She means well but things just aren’t working with her. I want to stop seeing her, but then i’ll be alone and A won’t allow that.
Saw A afterwards and she cheered me up a decent amount.
Not sure what to do or feel. Quite numb and want to give up. But right now i’m basically just living for M (which is super fucking pathetic).
Now i have to study like hell which is difficult to do with an uneven mind.
Sorry i’m not entirely able to help you guys as much as you deserve. I’m trying but it’s so hard to when i feel so numb and misplaced.