Coming to peace with the idea of ugliness has been the best thing to ever happen to me honestly.
It started off with just me hating same-face in art and examining why that was, and it turned from an artistic philosophy to a way of life. Fear of ugliness is so freaking insidious and poisonous and if you stop fearing it, you’re just free!!!
Just say to yourself “Ok, so, let’s say I’m ugly. Let’s just go there, I’m ugly, no question.” Then think…is your life any different? are YOU any different? No. Do you still have people who love you? Can you still love others? Can you still do the things you enjoy and experience personal and social fulfillment?
Beauty and ugliness are completely 100% constructed, objective, mutable, ever changing ideas, and yet so many of us are paralyzed with the thought that people might think we’re ugly? And???? like, so what if they do? Why do we feel like attractiveness is imperative for happiness and social well-being? We are not the sum of the people who find us physically attractive.
If you look in the mirror and feel ugly, my advice is too enjoy it. revel in it. Look at your face and look at every little perceived flaw and appreciate that it is there, existing just as it is, and everyone who loves you will see it and still love you, and that the people who don’t like you will see it and still not like you. You are you, exactly as you are, both changing and unchanging, a trillion tiny things happening all at once. You are made of all the same stuff as a forest fire, or a banana, or a lion, or a praying mantis, or a carnation or a star. You are a living thing, a creature.
Your true beauty is not “hiding” somewhere beneath blemishes and pimples and hair, waiting to be brought forth with a makeover sequence. You are always ever beautiful and ugly all at once in a million little ways. You get to decide which parts are which for you, and everyone else gets to decide which parts are which for them, and you’ll all be right!
Bottom line, you’re gonna be yourself forever so just get used to what that means already and you can laugh loud and smile big with your crooked yellow teeth and your crinkly eyes and know that you’re loved for them and despite them and because of them and regardless of them. Know that I saw that bit of spit fly from your mouth when you laughed and I still think the world of you and I hope you keep on laughing forever, you beautiful ugly perfect disaster. <3