or the one in which Eggsy unintentionally ruins his bulletproof suit. (In his defence, no one expressly told him not to machine wash it.)
You’d think that Kingsman suits, being bulletproof and all, could withstand a simple washing cycle in the machine.
As it turns out, they don’t, and Eggsy finds this out the hard way when he gets home one day, dead tired and caked in mud from head to toe after a very intense 12-hour mission right there in London.
Mum and Daisy are, thankfully, not at home when he gets there. He strips out of his suit and stuffs it in the washing machine and goes to take a very long and much-needed shower.
What he pulls out of the machine a while later after he’d cleaned up and had a cup of tea is a formless lump of expensive cloth and whatever super-secret type of kevlar the Kingsman tailors use to bulletproof their suits. He stretches it a bit, hoping to give it some shape but he quickly realises it’s a hopeless endeavour. Whatever that bulletproof material is, it can’t seem to make up its mind whether to shrink in the wash or go saggy and gross like leftover pasta.
Well, at the very least his suit is clean now.
And it’s a testament to how completely worn out Eggsy is that he doesn’t even panic that he ruined a stupendously expensive suit. He struggles a bit to get the ruined suit on a clothes hanger and then laughs at the pathetic sight of it until he’s doubled over on the floor, with tears on his face and no breath left in his lungs.
Then he snaps a picture of the suit and sends it to Roxy with the caption “bulletproof but not machine wash-proof”.
“you mean not idiot-proof”, is Roxy’s prompt reply, followed by “youre not supposed to just machine wash a bespoke suit anyway, thats what dry cleaners are for” and “merlin is going to have your head for that btw”.