Can we just take a sec to talk about this book here

Even ignoring the fact it’s by TERRY PRATCHETT who is an amazing human being, it’s pretty much the best thing ever.

  • Strong female characters turning the damsel in distress trope on its head? check
  • Addresses issues of gender roles/transgender/sexuality (but without making a big deal about it)? check
  • Addresses the consequences of war and propaganda? check
  • extremely funny but also deep? check

I want more people to know about this book. It’s ten years old now and I think it is largely unheard of. Well, I think everyone should read it. Especially people who say they want to see more of things like this. Tumblr seems to have a community that is mostly supportive of feminism, GLBTQ, etc. Well go buy this book (and if you don’t want to give Amazon your money there are used copies but as we know, buying power is one way regular people can express approval or disapproval).

Side note: Yes this is considered part of the Discworld series, but it stands on its own; you don’t have to read any other Discworld books to enjoy this one (though the rest of the Discworld series is worth reading as well!) - this was actually the first Pratchett book I ever read, I picked it up at an airport because I needed something to get me through a five hour flight. I really don’t understand why Terry Pratchett is so little-known in the U.S. though.

Good evening, gentlemen! Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violence does not come easily to me. It’s not tearing your throats out that doesn’t come easily to me. Please don’t make it any harder.
—  Maladict, from Terry Pratchett, Monstrous Regiment (2003)

In case you needed even more reasons to go read Monstrous Regiment, there is also a canon lesbian couple in the book, Tonker (Magda) and Lofty (Tilda).

Together they escaped from the Girls’ Working School–an institution where “Bad Girls” [aka anyone who breaks the absolutely ridiculous religious rules in Belgravia] go–and joined the army, intent on putting it as far behind them as possible. They’re absolute sweethearts and totally in love, always holding hands whenever they’re on patrol together.

Tonker is intensely protective of Lofty, and seems to be the only one who can get past how quiet the other girl is; Lofty, for her part, mostly keeps to herself and finds joy in fire…as in, she always seems to find matches and can make explosives from anything.

They disappear after the main events of the book, but the last Polly hears, the Girls’ Working School is burnt down and two slim hooded figures robbed the nearby bank…

(also I’ve been drawing the ladies in the tailored uniforms they get at the end because the book doesn’t really clarify if everyone gets every piece of regalia from the army stores, as it’s all shoddy and pilfered off of already dead soldiers x: )

u want a comedy novel that’s funny without being offensive?

you want a comedy novel where the main character is a woman? and the primary characters are all women? and the title of the book itself is a reference to women’s rights?


and religious/war commentary?? while still being absolutely shitfaced hilarious?????

There was an explosion from Tonker, but it was an explosion of tears. They came out accompanied by a long, mournful wail, as she threw herself onto the floor.
“We walked so-oo far! We lay in ditches to hide from soldiers! There’s no food! We want to work! You called us boys! Why are you so-oo cruel?”
Polly knelt down and half picked her up, patting her on the back as Tonker’s shoulders heaved with the force of her sobs.
“It’s been very hard for all of us,” she said to the red-faced captain.
“If you can take him down I can garrotte the other one with my apron string,” whispered Tonker in her ear, between howls.

Monstrous Regiment - Terry Pratchett


I just finished Monstrous Regiment by Terry Pratchett and it stirred some art in me

These two are Polly Perks, the main character/narrator, and Maladicta

From the start, their country of Belgravia is at war; basically every able bodied young man they’ve got is either missing, dead, or wounded. Polly, intending to find her brother, decides to masquerade as a man and join the company that he had the year previous.

She runs from home and joins a small band of other recruits–similarly green, similarly tiny and unfamiliar with weapons, ‘farmboys’–aaand it turns out that the entire regiment of recruits are women who dressed up as men to join the army. And then they proceed to outmaneuver everyone they meet (for the most part) and kick some serious ass.

Anyway, as for these two–Maladicta spends much of the book teasing and grinning at Polly, and Polly, for her part, expresses concern for Maladicta once she starts going kinda out of it (she’s a vampire–and has taken a pledge not to drink blood [hence the black ribbon on her chest] but she replaced that addiction with coffee…which gets stolen on the way to battle and Bad Things Happen)

The book ends with the pair of them pretty much sailing off into the sunset to continue adventuring together–the only girls from the regiment to do so–and Polly winks at Maladicta HOW AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO SHIP THIS

Anyway it’s a good book, you should check it out, and this totally counts as my first contribution to Femslash February okay

ladies who take care of each other!!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who are resourceful and clever!!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who are gentle!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who can kick ass!!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who want romance!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who don’t need a man!!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who love other ladies!!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who trust and rely on each other!!!!!  (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who learn their femininity can be used as a weapon!!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

ladies who learn to fuck societal constructs and do whatever they need to do whether it’s ‘feminine’ or 'masculine’ or somewhere in between!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧


The thing about Monstrous Regiment is that in trying to explain why it’s so good you have to skirt around one of the best reveals in the book.  It happens pretty early on and is by no means the most important part of the book, but it’s still not something you want to spoil if you can help it and it’s SO FRUSTRATING.

I often wonder how one might handle said reveal in a film adaptation.  You would either have to make it plain from the get-go or be really REALLY sneaky about some things…

You know what I fucking love about Discworld?

The fact that Terry Pratchett doesn’t stop at metaphors for representation. A lot of fantasy writers or series think they can pull that shit, like, ‘oh, the discrimination against (fantasy race) is an important social allegory, but let’s not have any actual POC in the books.’


Terry Pratchett writes about ethnic tensions between dwarves and trolls, yeah, but he doesn’t stop there, because hey, let’s talk about real racism. He writes about dwarves discovering themselves outside of a monogender world, but he doesn’t stop there, because hey, let’s have some real queers! He writes about vampires giving up blood and living by the pledge of temperance, but he doesn’t stop there, because hey, let’s have an actual alcoholic who manages to overcome his addiction and then kick a- prod buttock in every direction known to mankind and then some. 


“The captain looks bad,” he said. “What did he try to do to poor little you?”
“Patronize me,” said Polly, glaring at Maladict.
“Ah.” said the vampire.
—  the absolute best part of Monstrous Regiment, by Terry Pratchett.