I was probably at the [Olympic] Games because I was running away from a
lot of things. Very, very proud of the accomplishment. I don’t want to
diminish that accomplishment. The last few days, in doing this shoot,
was about my life and who I am as a person. It’s not about the fanfare.
It’s not about people cheering in the stadium. It’s not about going down
the street and everybody giving me a ‘That a boy, Bruce!’ pat on the
back. This is about your life, Caitlyn doesn’t have any secrets. As soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out, I’m free.“
Bruce Jenner introduced the world to Caitlyn, the Olympian’s female identity, on the new cover of Vanity Fair on Monday.
Jenner, 65, wears her hair in loose curls and poses in a white bustier corset in her first portrait since transitioning from male to female.
“If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life,’ ” she tells Vanity Fair.
Jenner – who says she has not undergone genital surgery – also reveals she had a panic attack after undergoing a facial feminization surgery for 10 hours March 15, thinking, “What did I just do? What did I just do to myself?”
In a video for the magazine, Jenner discusses why she’s sharing her story.
“I was probably at the [Olympic] games because I was running away from a lot of things. [I’m] very, very proud of the accomplishment,” she says. “I don’t want to diminish that accomplishment. The last few days of doing this shoot was about my life and who I am as a person.
"It’s not about the fanfare, it’s not about people cheering in the stadium, it’s not about going down the street and everybody giving you a 'That a boy, Bruce’ pat on the back, okay? This is about your life. Bruce always had to tell a lie. He was always living that lie. Every day he always had a secret, from morning til night. Caitlyn doesn’t have any secrets. As soon as the Vanity Fair cover comes out, I’m free.”
Her son Burt, 36, tells Vanity Fair that he was taken aback when Jenner showed him her new chest after completing a breast augmentation, reminding Jenner, “Whoa, I’m still your son.”
“I have high hopes that Caitlyn is a better person than Bruce,” he says. “I’m very much looking forward to that.”
The Keeping Up with the Kardashians star has chronicled her journey with TV specials, first in a 20/20 interview with Diane Sawyer in April and later on the E! reality show.
“Obviously as you grow up, no one’s ever 100 percent proud of every decision that they’ve made, and that’s OK. I think as long as you learn from your mistakes, and don’t make them over and over again, you’re on the right path.”
I think I like the paradox of looking at a ‘bad’ character – or a character that does bad things. I had a crack at Macbeth once, and I remember seeing him as a heroic figure that just diverged onto the wrong path and then made all the wrong decisions. I feel like we all have the potential to do that. (x)