in memoriam

I remember not remembering
we’re not friends anymore,
I remember picking up the phone only to find
your number gone,
buried under ‘get well soon’
messages and promises.
I remember your birthday and your favorite color
and I won’t do a damn thing about it,
your parents loved me,
maybe I did too but at some point
I poisoned our lifeline and
got this sick,
our love died, we survived and
who the hell cares?
I had a dream we were an ocean on fire
like a story a girl told me:
we are impossibly impossible,
we cannot exist until we are existing
and we would never have run out of oxygen.
I remember your face perfectly
under my fingertips, cold
like the morning I woke up with you and
we were laughing like
we never would again.
I remember you.