Reposting this one because I was super proud of the phil one I made but then I saw like 5 minutes later that it’s already been done *face desk* so I’ll think of a different, more creative one for phil. For now, just enjoy Dan and his uh…. outgoing ways.
And you! You are a certified whack job. Couldn’t go out of your house for two years. You take great pleasure in shoving fake penises up the butts of the men you love. You banged the husband of your only daughter. You adopted a bunch of Indian kids and who the fuck knows why, and I can not stand your unreasonably complicated cooking.