I'm-actually-proud-of-this-okay

1. some friends will leave you and you will find yourself in an auditorium seat literally looking up to them, but it’s okay because the ones you really care about are down in the pit with you
2. he could’ve broken your heart three years or two minutes ago and you will still want to throw something every time he texts you
 3. you’ll start to cry because songs and stories are there for you more than your own family, but once you stop crying those songs and stories will fix you
4. sometimes you need to just listen to static and pretend you don’t exist
5. real friends also have lives and priorities and problems, and you’ll be draped over your bed staring at your phone and realize that the only person you’ll always have with you is yourself
6. but a real friend will also stay up with you for hours on the phone and then wake up early the next morning while you’re still recovering and give you coffee and a smile
7. the answer to “are your parents good parents?” doesn’t have to be an immediate yes
8. sometimes it’s okay if you don’t go out, if you skip the party for starbucks and staring at the stars with your friends, realizing that you’re all so small but together you’re something so much more
9. but find new friends, make awkward small talk, make acquaintances, wave to people in the hallway, because they can’t like you if you don’t try to like them first
10. dying isn’t really sad and scary and sudden it’s more like piles of paper across an apartment, rotting food in a fridge, and a gated community where you can’t tell one building from the other
11. you are not the protagonist of this story and there are people who will always see you as a stereotype, but you get to decide what stereotype that is
12. sometimes you’ll lowkey want to die and sometimes you’ll highkey want to die but there’s always a little part of you that wants to live
13. it turns out wanderlust costs a lot of money but that doesn’t mean you can’t take it all in, learning as much as you can, seeing as much as you can see, and living as much as you can live in the little time you have here
14. suburbs are boring but being a girl in a suburb is far less eventful than being a girl in a city and for that i'm grateful
15. the person who locks themselves in bathroom stalls and doesn’t shower for a couple days and feels like they don’t exist sometimes is the same exact person who can make an entire room laugh, who feels life breathed into them as plants grow, who is thankful for what they have, who has finally learned what it’s like to be alive
—  15 things i’ve learned in 2015 (so far)

today was the first time in about five months that i felt excited about something i’d written and it’s only a couple of hundred words but it feels so amazing to be proud of it and to have actually felt the emotions i was supposed to be writing or even just to have felt something and i’m just so  goddamn proud of my 500 words

YOU GUYS idk if anyone is online rn but i’m so proud of me rn you guys okay look i’ve been saying for a LONG TIME that i’m gonna contact a therapist and today i FINALLY sat down and emailed the woman whose profile i’ve been looking at for months like! i actually WROTE HER AN EMAIL TELLING HER ABOUT MYSELF AND I SENT IT!

anyway that is all

okay so in high school i had a huge crush on the same guy for all four years. we had every single science class together and every year we would sit next to each other and i would flirt with him 24/7 but it never went anywhere, you know? but like a year after we graduated him and i were hanging out together and we hooked up and it was bomb af and all my high school dreams came true and anyways i never really hit him up after that. like i lost contact with him, but tonight out of nowhere he hit me up and was like, “hey we haven’t talked in a while and I’m super sorry about that. I hope all is good with you.” and my heart melted. i know it sounds so stupid, but we haven’t talked to each other in two years and it was just so sweet and unexpected and it felt good.

femmecrip asked:

I feel like Joan did get kind of sidelined in the finale, but at the same time she did so much? Like she went out and solved a crime and found and rescued Alfredo. All while trying to keep track of and worrying about Sherlock who was definitely putting himself at risk. I love Joan sooooo much. More Joan Watson for season 4 2k15.

yeah!!! i was so proud of her actually, how she and marcus just handled it while working against the clock and like keeping her cool and just doing so well even when two of her good friends were in danger, and also because she herself had experience with kidnapping before. she was spot on. i just. the bomb dot com joan watson i love her so much

i think some of the bad taste in my mouth is still like, it feels like that’s all joan’s there for? like i love feeling happy for her for coming so far with her detectiving but i also wish her detective skill isn’t the only thing that has progression and continuity and significance.

i want stories for joan watson, because i’m sure she has a lot of them.

thebetatohisalpha asked:

[ Bring up my muse's past, fuck them up, nothing is off limits ] "--how badly did it scar you, that derek pulled a similar move as your dad? throwing the glass at you?"

thebetatohisalpha

     Isaac flinched at the memories and nearly dropped
     the book he was holding. The memory that his once
     Alpha, the person he trusted, had done that to him
     was not one he WANTED to think about. Of course,
     Isaac understood now why Derek had done it but
     that didn’t change anything. Maybe that’s why he
     can’t bring himself to answer the question aloud,
     because it hurt him so bad. Such a simple little
     thing that scared him so badly the first time,
     was haunting him to this very day.

              He had forgiven Derek after awhile but it took a lot.
              The older man had known just how horrified he was
               of anything relating to the abuse in his past. He had
               been his ALPHA, how could he not have known? Yet,
               that had been used against him.

     When Isaac accepted the bite and became a
     werewolf he thought it would all change. But
     all that faded were the scars on his body- not
     the ones on his mind. Sometimes he had nightmares
     where he would be back in that house, being shoved
     into that damned freezer once more- but his father
     was not the one doing it, instead it was Derek.

             Isaac wouldn’t admit to having trust issues after that
             because it was too unbearable to consider or even 
             talk about. Derek never apologized, but Isaac forgave
             him still. There was no point in holding a grudge, nor
             was there time. Boyd had been killed, Erica too.

                     ❝I try NOT to think about it that much.❞

    Not really a lie, not really the truth. But Isaac couldn’t
    tell the TRUTH. What was he going to say? That it haunted
    him and he wished the memories would all just go AWAY?
    No. No one could know.