I miss talking to someone and laughing

I threw out my razor blade today. I forced myself out of bed to drink some tea and eat some breakfast because it’s been days since I’ve had a /decent/ meal. I did my hair after a long shower. I shaved and wore something nice just because. I’m trying but there’s still something inside me that aches…

anonymous asked:

Hello, 11 12 17 19, for the ask thing :) love ya xx

Love you too xx This is the last  Message me numbers 💘 inbox I have to answer! If there’s anymore you’d like to send, this is the last night I’ll be doing them!

11: Best friend? I’m lucky to have two “best” friends, but one is a guy I’ve known since 2nd grade! We are like brother and sister honestly. We can talk for hours, and make each other laugh constantly. He got me into Supernatural!

12: Relationship status: Single as can be! I dated this one guy for almost two years and I haven’t really bounced back from that yet. At this point in my life I don’t really mind it! When the right guy comes along, I’ll be ready. 

17: Someone you miss: This one person I used to be really super close with when I was in Japan, and then they went back to their home state just totally dropped our friendship. It must not bother them, but I still miss them after all this time! I cherish the memories! We were what we needed in each other’s life for a time. He taught me some really important things about life. 

19: A fact about your personality: I’m a terrible public speaker! Everyone expects me to be eloquent because I write well, but I completely choke when I speak in front of people. I even get nervous reading my stories out loud to my own parents. I can’t control it at all, but I’m practicing! I get so red too… ugh :P

Summary of The 100 S01e01 watch (I’m probably missing a lot)

  • Ancient rocket plummeting towards foreign planet. Kids start unbuckling their seatbelts and floating around for funsies. *scoffs* Teenagers :p
  • Wells is underrated <3
  • Clarke’s obviously mum 
  • Bellamy is dad
  • Lol at Murphy’s snorting laugh
  • Who announces their plans to kill someone? Pfft! teenagers
  • Clarke! omg! Stop talking! Stop! Jfc
  • Gdi Bellamy you tool!
  • How the heck are you guys alive?
  • You’re lucky they dropped your butts in the wrong place
  • Sees strange creature in a strange forest they know nothing about. Let’s go swimming! I see no danger in that! Right? Right??? Right????? Teenagers! Jeez!
  • What are you doing Wells? Bad idea! You don’t trust these guys! Oh wth
  • *groaning*
  • Bellamy no stop bad dog! Not again! 
  • Shoots chancellor and incites a rebellion…. Classic Bellamy! 
  • oooh rain! 
  • Not even going to collect the rain? 
  • How the hell are you people alive???
I know we can’t be together anymore. I’m aware of the fact that I can’t make you love me and I can’t make you stay. I understand that you’re hurting and I think you know deep down that I didn’t mean to hurt you in the slightest, just the thought of you hurting makes me sick to my stomach and I just want you to know that I will always love and care for you, no matter what hatred you spit my way. It could be any time of the day, if you were falling apart and needed someone to talk to, I’d always be there. No matter what.
I miss you so much, all the memories and secrets and laughs and late nights and love we shared too. I think you know what I’m talking about when I say that it’s just out of the blue, whether it’s 3am or 1pm, you invade my thoughts at all times of the day. You have no mercy on my broken heart. And if you choose to stay away forever then I respect that, I don’t know if I’m okay with it, but I’ll do that for you if it’s what you truly want. I just hope that you don’t forget about me..
Years from now when you’re out of this place and you’ve built your own life and filled it with new magical memories and beautiful people I hope you will think back to me and feel no pain. Simply say to yourself ‘I used to love her’ and carry on with whatever you were doing, and I will do the same.
—  A letter I could never send you (Source: ingenue-inure)

Amazing how much a single exchange can change your perspective on someone. And I’m not even talking about anything technically wrong in the information just…

“Well, being fat didn’t give me the flu I’ve gone to see the doctor for.”

“But it can suppress the immune system.” Said with a sneer.

jack-of-hearts-fate asked:

Fate picked up his head from the book he was reading, eyes searching towards the entrance of the library. A young woman had entered the library, and by the clothing she wore, seemed like she was not from here. "Can I help you young miss?"

The traveler wrote down things on her notebook.It was nice to keep things written down from her travels.  
“So far this place doesnt look… hostile. ”
“Thats what you say every time we fuck up and get almost murdered by someone, totally not saving your ass this time”
a voice said inside her head and the woman snorted loudly, talking out loud. 
OH cause you actually DO SO?! ”
After hearing a voice that came from a man at the distance she tensed and gulped. Then laughed nervously. 
“oh.. hey! no no just walking around actually, and if you wonder, no i have no idea of where am i”

87 Questions Tag

tagged by rheaxroxas

1. Last beverage: sparkling Water

2. Last phone call: to my mother

3. Last text: to my best friend about the upcoming weekend

4. Last song:  may it be

5. Last time you cried: Last wednessday

6. Dated someone twice: nah

7. Been cheated on: nope

8. Kissed anyone and regretted it: nopedynope

9. Lost someone special: yes and I miss her everyday

10. Been depressed: been/am…

11. Been drunk and threw up:  yes

12. List your favorite colors: dark red, dark blue, 

In the last year have you…

15. Made a new friend: yep

16. Fallen out of love: I thought I had, but then I hadn’t

17. Laughed until you cried: probalby

18. Met someone who changed you: Yeah

19. Found out who your true friends are: I already knew

20. Found out someone was talking about you: no bc what is there to say about me

21. Kissed anyone on your FB list: nah I don’t kiss

22. How many people do you know on your FB list: All of them. I dont friend strangers

23. Do you have any pets: two cat

24. Do you want to change your name: maybe to something unisex, but I’ll stick with dimi for now

25. What did you do for your last birthday party: I drank with some friends

26. What time did you wake up today: a few times between 4 am and 12 pm

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching tv

28. Something you cannot wait for: finishing my education and finishing my book

29. Last time you saw your mother: five minutes ago

30. One thing you wish you could change about your life: my belly

31. What are you listening to right now: my thoughts

32. Have you ever talked to a Tom: Um yeah 

33. What’s getting on your nerves right now: slow people

34. Most viewed webpage: tumblr

35. Nicknames: Dimi or the Bear

36. Relationship status: single and biding my time

37. Zodiac sign: cancer

40. College/University: local university Antwerp (in belgium it’s a different system though, there is no overall “better university)

41. Hair color: Dark brown

42. Long or short: in the middle?

43. Height: 6′1″

44. Do you have a crush on someone: getting over her… again…

45. What do you like about yourself: I can be nice

46. Tattoos: not yet 

47. Right or left handed: right

48. First piercings: none

49. First best friend: Tim from scouting

50. First sport you joined: skiing. still doing it

51. First vacation: south of france somewhere next to swiss

52. First pair of trainers: How should I know that?

53. Eating: nothing

54. Drinking: nothing

55. About to: do even less

56. Watching: me becoming an overall failure

57. Listening to: killer queen by queen

58. Waiting for: everything to be over

59. Want kids: maybe two?

60. Get married: Maybe if someone can tolerate me for that long

61. Career: Gonna be a teacher maybe even a writer

62. Lips or eyes: eyes

63. Hugs or kisses: love both of them

64. Shorter or taller: Shorter

65. Older or younger: Dont care

66. Romantic or spontaneous: both

67. Nice stomach or arms: ????????

68. Loud or sensitive: idk

69. Hook-up or relationship: relationship

70. Trouble maker or hesitant: Um both

71. Kissed a stranger: once

72. Drank hard liquor: yups

73. Lost glasses/contacts: just have them

74. Had sex on a first date: no sex 

75. Broken someone’s heart: don’t know

76. Been arrested: nope, not yet

77. Turned someone down: yeah

78. Cried when someone died: yeah

79. Fallen for a friend: yeah… that’s kinda my thing

Do you believe in…

80. Yourself: Not at all

81. Miracles: sometimes

82. Love at first sight: love takes time

83. Kisses on first dates: maybe a little one

84. Heaven: don’t know, don’t care

85. Santa Claus: What about my father

86. Angels: no

87. Favorite animal(s): Dragons bitch

I tag redheadinrustyshiningarmour, stelatum, and everyone who sees this muahahahahahaha sorry for doing this weeks too late

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to answer the 92 truths about you. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

I was tagged by: deans-colette (thank you babe!)

What was your:

Last Beverage: mocha
Last phone call: missed call from mum
Last text message: My friend Yoel saying I was working today :)

Last time you cried: Sunday after Mark Sheppard hugged me

Have you ever:

Dated someone twice: yes…
Been cheated on: yes
Been drunk and threw up: yes

List your:

Favourite colours: black, crimson, dark green

Last year have you:

Made a new friend: yes (yay tumblr!)
Fallen out of love: yes
Laughed until you cried: yes
Found out who your true friends were: yes
Found out someone was talking about you: I dont think so? Not negatively anyway


How many people do you know IRL on your fb friends list: All of them?


First surgery: orthodontic surgery
First piercing: ears
First best friend: Eva

First sport you joined: Karate
First vacation: Forster

Eating: French toast
Drinking: coffee
I am about to: keep watching Parks & Rec until my shift starts
Waiting for: s11 Supernatural ;)

Your future:

Want kids: eventually
Career: I’ve done a teaching degree but I don’t know anymore

Which is better:

Lips or eyes: eyes
Hugs or kisses: kisses
Older or younger: older
Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
Relationship or hook up: relationship
Trouble maker or hesitant: trouble maker, I’m kinda over hesitant

Have you ever:

Kissed a stranger: yes
Drunk hard liquor: yes
Lost contacts or lenses:  no
Sex on first date: no
Broke someone’s heart: yes
Arrested?: nope
Turned someone down: yes
Cried when someone died: fictional and real life, yes…
Fallen for a friend: yes

Do you believe in:

Yourself: never

Miracles: no but I still pray for them

Love at first sight: lust at first sight, definitely
Heaven: yes
Santa: not anymore
Kiss on first date: usually, depends how it went
Angels: yes

I tag: bovaria, crowleys-poppet-queen-of-asgard, nausicaa008, sassplaidandbulletholes, melanie-is-me and anyone else who’s interested!

anonymous asked:

Doh,somerholder is a shallow pathetic douchebag with such a big ego,just look at some interviews,seeing the way he talk,trying so hard to make us believe that what he speaks about is so deep when he just speak about shoes,overacting in real live and just playing with the eyes in tvd,also what type of person need to be to date a bitch who was going with you and nina at double dates,and by all that this piece of shit acts like he is a great person full of compassion and respect,let me laugh a bit

Oh come on, there’s no reason to get nasty. I agree that sometimes when he talks, he tries to sound really smart, which makes him miss the point completely. That’s true. Like when someone asks him a simple question, he wants to go all deep and complicated and that’s just so full of shit. xD But I don’t think that’s because of his ego or because he’s shallow or pathetic, I think he just doesn’t want to look bad - and he overdoes it. Kind of like the TVD writers don’t want DE to look dull or ridiculous, they want to make it epic - and they overdo it. Shit happens. xD

I’m also not very fond of his acting abilities, but in his defense, what does he have to work with? Not once has he been challenged in these six years. Not once. He’s Damon Salvatore, he’s the bad boy with the smirk who throws around oneliners. It’s what he did in season one, it’s what he’s still doing in season six. Cut ‘m some slack, I’ve been told he was much better on Lost (but I never watched that show, so I wouldn’t actually know).

I don’t appreciate you calling Nikki names like that, by the way. They fell for each other and they have every right to be together. Kind of like Caroline had every right to go out with Matt even though Elena dated him first. Sometimes relationships fall apart and if they can all move on, then why should anyone else make a problem of it? Nikki and Ian make each other happy, they care passionately about animals and about nature and about other human beings and I think that makes them wonderful people. If you want to hate on them, be my guest - but don’t do it in my inbox.

I miss you so much, not just the memory of you. When I saw you I just didn’t want you to leave, I wanted to talk to you and laugh with you and make things right. You might think you’re not what I need because we’re so different but all I need from someone is to know that they care and I always got this deep down from you. But I wish I was the one for you.

I miss having someone to talk to at night
I miss having someone to tell everything to
I miss having those deep conversations
I miss having those pointless conversations
I miss all the jokes we’ve had
I miss all the laughs we’ve had
I miss being able to feel like I know someone so well
I miss having a friendship everyone knows about and never questions
I miss our friendship we had
I miss you
What happened to us?
Please don’t leave me, I need you in my life

I was tagged by ashtonsturtlee​ and calumthaf​ and a few other people (thanks babes) for the 92 questions challenge

What was your:

Last Drink: water

Last Song You Listened To: Car Radio - 21 pilots

Last Time You Cried: yesterday

Have you ever: 

Dated Someone Twice: nah

Cheated On: no

Kissed Someone And Regretted It: no

Lost Someone Special: yes

Been Depressed: yes

Drunk And Thrown Up: no

List 3 favorite colors: blue, black and green

In the last year have you: 

Made A New Friend: yessss

Fallen out of Love: nah

Laughed Until You Cried: no. i miss this feeling

Met Someone Who Changed You: for the worse. yes

Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: not really

Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: kinda

Kissed Anyone On Your FB: don’t think so?


How Many People On Your FB Friends Do You Know IRL: most of them

Do You Have Any Pets: yesss

Do You Want To Change Your Name: nope

What Did You Do For Your Last B-day Party: celebrating in Japan yo B) with ramen, starbucks and night train lol

What Time Did You Wake Up Today: 6ish?

What Were You Doing At Midnight Last Night: looking for my contacts…

Name Something You CANNOT Wait For: getting out of here

Last Time You Saw Your Mother: this morning

What Is One Thing You Wish You Could Change About Your Life: i wish i wasn’t born here

What Are You Listening To Rn: my fan makes really loud noise (electric fan lol)

Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: i think so

What’s Getting On Your Nerves Rn: school shit

Blood Type: no idea

Nickname(s): Kris, Khanh, Gu, Ku-ri-su-tun

Relationship Status: married to Calum Thomas Hood

Zodiac Sign: Leo

Pronouns: she/her

Favorite TV Show: HIMYM, FOTB

Favorite movie: Moonrise Kingdom, Silver Lining Playbook, Ratatouille

High School: FLSS

College: a good one

Hair Color: dark brown, red-ish

Long Or Short: long

Do You Have A Crush On Someone: nah. prob Calum

What Do You Like About Yourself: i can give good advice

Tattoos: want one but not sure what

Righty Or Lefty: righty

First Surgery: haven’t had any

First Piercing: ears from like 4 years old

First Sport You Joined: swimming/sprinting


Eating: none

Drinking: none

I’m About To: do some SAT shit

Listening To: fan flapping 

Waiting For: dinner

Want Kids: not sure

Get Married: not sure

Career: i have a weird ass internship at an english centre

Which Is Better:

Lips Or Eyes: Eyes

Hugs or Kisses: Both

Shorter Or Taller: taller

Older Or Younger: older

Romantic Or Spontaneous: both

Nose, Stomach Or Nice Arms: arms

Sensitive Or Loud: mixed?

Hookup Or Relationship: both

Troublemaker Or Hesitant: troublemaker

Have you ever:

Kissed A Stranger: no

Drank Hard Liquor: yes

Lost Glasses/Contacts: just did last night…

Sex On First Date: no

Broke Someone’s Heart: prob not

Been Arrested: no

Turn Someone Down: nah

Cried When Someone Died: yes

Fallen For A Friend: sadly

Do you believe:

In Yourself: hardly

Miracles: yes

Love At First Sight: yes

Heaven: yes

Santa Claus: nah

Kiss At First Date: yes

Angels: not too much

I tag everyone who wants to do this !

caffeinelemur asked:

answer every third question

I didn’t get to answer them yesterday as had planned, sorry ^^

  • 3. Last text message
    The last message I received was in a group chat, the last one I wrote was in a group chat as well. As for only one person chats, that was Lies, both the last one I got and the last one I sent :3
  • 6. Dated someone twice
    Pff, nah 
  • 9. Lost someone special
    Hmm idk, I don’t think so?
  • 12. had sex
  • 17. Laughed until you cried (wtf, 14 and 16 are missing? o.O)
    Probably ^^
  • 20. Found out someone was talking about you
    Most likely, but not necessarily in a bad way, or even anything important ^^
    July 5 :3
  • 32. What are you listening to right now
    The sound of my computer almost overheating bc of all the Eurovision liveblogging
  • 35. Most visited webpage
    Probably Tumblr or FF idek
  • 38. Relationship Status
    I didn’t expect myself to ever be able to say this, but: taken!
  • 41. Primary school
    I have… no idea what this question wants from me tbh xD I doubt the name of my former school would be any use for you anyway ^^
  • 44. Eye color
  • 48. What do you like about yourself
    Uhh, my ability to get along with animals? (Horses and dogs, mostly)
  • 51. Righty or lefty
  • 55. First hookup
    No hookups
  • 60. Drinking
  • 63. Waiting for
    Me to actually understand the stuff for tomorrow’s chemistry test
  • 66. Career
    … *throws smoke-bomb to distract you* *runs away quickly*
  •  69. Shorter or taller
    Both have their pros and cons
  • 72. Nice stomach or nice arms
    I don’t even know xD
  • 76. Kissed a stranger
  • 79. Had sex
  • 83. Turned someone down
    Not in a someone-asked-me-out-but-I-don’t-wanna wa, no
  • 86. Yourself
    Depends on where
  • 89. Heaven
    Not heaven in that traditional sense, no
  • 92. Angels
    Not really (mom does though)
  • 95. Did you sing today
    Yeah, in the shower :>
  • 98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For
    Right now, I’d like to have Lies with me
  • 25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
  • I wouldn’t know what to say actually 
  • 26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
  • Yes! 
  • 27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
  • I don’t need them to have me roaring with laughter constantly but having them make me laugh every now and then sure is nice! 
  • 28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
  • a tumblr post the ‘yourejustasbad’ blog was replying to 
  • 29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
  • Yeah. :\
  • 30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
  • It depends on the case. 
  • 31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
  • I don’t, I’m rooming with him this summer sooo
  • 32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
  • She does <3
  • 33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
  • I do drink soda! 
  • 34. Listening to?
  • Nothing at the moment
  • 35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
  • I take all my notes in pencil

anonymous asked:

11, 13, 17, 29, 28, 74 and 82 :3

11 - How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? - 3!

13 - What are you going to do Sat. Night? - I’m going to go watch this one dance show at Northwestern Univ, got some friends performing :)

17 -  Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? - My friend Mark, we just get each other

28 -  What was the last thing that made you laugh? - Actually this Anon ask that i answered before this post here

29 -  Do you really, truly miss someone right now? - Think i’m going to go see them now so i’m excited

74 - Fav book? - The Magicians by Lev Grossman 

82 - Snickerdoodle with chocolate chips!

anonymous asked:


Ah, now this one I have someone for. 

A girl who was best friends with my current crush’s sister. Ms. Sarah Curtis. I never talked to her PERSONALLY, mind you. Because she didn’t go to my school, and neither did his sister.

But this Sarah, she went missing. And I’m fairly sure she still IS missing. There’s still a missing poster tacked up on the Laughing Ogre comic book store, near my house.

Here’s one of the missing posters, and if you’ve seen her, you should probably call the police as I’m fairly sure she’s still missing. I’m not 100% on it though, as it appears from her Facebook that she’s communicated with some people like her best friend through E-mail, but it also appears that still, no one has seen her.

Some Weird Tag Thing

~What Was Your:

Last Drink: Water 

Last Phone Call: My Mother (I had to check) 

Last Text Message: Katie 

Last Song You Listened To: Miss Jackson by Panic! At The Disco

Last time you cried: Thursday I believe

~Have You Ever:

Dated Someone Twice: Nope

Been Cheated On: Not too my knowledge

Kissed Someone and Regretted it: Never kissed anyone at all

Lost Someone Special: Yep

Been Depressed: Yes

Been Drunk and Thrown Up: Never had alcohol 

List Three Favorite Colors: Purple Black Red

~In The Last Year Have You:

Made A New Friend: Yes

Fallen Out Of Love: Yes

Laughed Until You Cried: Yes

Met Someone Who Changed You: Yes

Found Out Who Your True Friends Are: Not particularly 

Found Out Someone Was Talking About You: I don’t think so

Kissed Someone on Your FB List: I don’t have facebook


How Many People On Your FB list do you know IRL: Again, no facebook

Do You Have Any Pets: 2 dogs, one lizard

Do You Want To Change Your Name: Maybe, Sarah is a bit boring

What Did You Do For Your Last B-Day: I went to Texas for a book signing but it wasn’t specifically for my birthday

What Time Did You Wake Up Today: 5 am

What Were You Doing At Midnight Last night: sleeping i believe

Name Something You Cannot Wait For: August to go to LA and visit Liz!! <3

Last Time You Saw Your Mother: Literally like 2 minutes ago

What is one thing you wish you could change about you life: Just one? the chemical balance in my brain so I was happy at least some of the time. Probably.

What Are You Listening To RN: Rain on my window

Have You Ever Talked To A Person Named Tom: Yes, my uncles name is tom

What’s getting on your nerves RN: This hella weeb in my class. (Katie knows who I mean, sister wives to the rescue)

Blood Type: Not sure

Nickname(s): Don’t have any

Relationship Status:  Single

Zodiac Sign: Pisces

Pronouns: she/her

Favorite TV Show(s): Grey’s Anatomy, Game of Thrones, Girl Meets World, Awkward, Faking it, Adventure Time, any and all reality shows, Pretty Little Liars, The Fosters (etc)

High-School: Currently living it

College: Someday

Hair Color: Purple (Dyed) Naturally Black

Long or Short: Mediumish, to at least my shoulder blades, maybe longer

Height: 5′2

Do You Have A Crush On Someone: One large crush, millions of little ones

What Do You Like About Yourself: Physical; nothing Personality; I guess I’m funny

Tattoos: None atm but someday, lots

Righty or lefty: Righty

First Surgery: Never had surgery, wisdom teeth soon though

First Piercing: My ears, i was 2 I believe

First Best Friend: Jordyn probably

First Sport You Joined: Soccer (futbol for non-americans)

First VACA: Georgia

First Pair of Sneakers: I honestly have no clue


 Eating: Stuffed Shells

 Drinking: Ice Water

I’m About To: Wash my face and take a nap

Listening To: The rain

Waiting For: my life to begin

Want Kids: Yes at least 2 maybe more

Get Married: If someone will have me

Career: Interior Designer or a hobo idk my options are broad

~Which is Better:

Lips or Eyes: Eyes

Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

Shorter or Taller: Taller

Romantic or Spontaneous: both

Nose, Stomach, Nice Arms: Collar Bones are better than all of those combined

Sensitive or Loud: Sensitive 

Hookup or Relationship: Relationship

Trouble Maker or Hesitant: Both

~Have you ever

Kissed a Stranger: Nope

Drank Hard Liquor: Nope

Lost Glasses/Contacts: Nope

 Sex On First Date: I’m ace, I don’t sex ever

Broke Someone’s Heart: I don’t think I broke his heart, but I’m sure I hurt him

Been Arrested: Nah

Turn Someone Down: Yep

Cried When Someone Died: Yep

Fallen For A Friend: So many times I lost count

~Do You Believe In 

In Yourself: No

Miracles: No

Love At First Sight: I would like to

Heaven: Not really

Santa Clause: I did, but not anymore

Kiss at First Date: If you’re that type of person

Angels: No

Time Alone

I always have a tendency to be a deep person whenever I am alone. When I am alone, I always caught myself overthinking over things/happenings, even petty ones.

Just like this time. I wanted to talk to someone; to share thoughts, to laugh at my jokes, to squeeze my hands, and to savor the moment. That’s the reason why I decided to go blogging again.

manonecar.tumblr.com was my blog and I decided to stop posting on my blog last week as I wanted to forget everything about my ex. I wanted to move forward for me not to be unfair with my present.

I am really so carried away and moved by the posts that I was able to read here on tumblr and I kinda miss all those, another reason why I decided to blog again.

I am a person who never shares what I feel and I know blogging is one way of expressing my thoughts. I have other social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter) where I could spill my thoughts but Tumblr offers not just spilling my thoughts but spilling inks and artistry.

So yeah, this is a start of something new. This is a start of my new self. But this is still my “Ruined Puzzle”.