I ATE LIKE 2

  • Me weighing myself:well i just ate a lot that's probably like 2 lbs and my clothes are kinda heavy so we'll call that 5 lbs and i bet if i shaved my hair off i'd be down 10 lbs and exfoliate all this dead skin and thats like 20 lbs easy
  • Me:
  • Me:
  • Me:Yass bitch im so thin
Why I wasn’t on tumblr?

I even don’t know where should I start….

This past 2 weeks 6 weeks was very hard for me but I think it was meant to be. Everything has started during easter. I was spending my time with family. Family who criticizes me at every moment of my life.

They said terrible things: You’re fat; You look like a man, Why are you even workout? You have cerebral palsy. You can’t workout; Don’t tell anyone that you have depression; Girls shouldn’t have muscles; You are lazy; You don’t study because you are lazy; Dietetics is a bad decision; 

YOU CAN’T YOU CAN’T YOU CAN’T

How it affected me??

I stopped workout, I have not been in the gym for more than 2 weeks 6 weeks, I ate like shit, I felt like shit, depressive symptoms appeared - I couldn’t sleep, poop, I had migraines, I forgot about medications and  I started to drink alcohol while I was on pills (one glass of whisky a day or 2 glass of vine but still…)

Last Sunday my cousin who always supports me asked me if I want to stay in her place for a few days, I said yeah, why not. I thought that it will rest for a few days… But she gave me a job for 3 days in her kindergarden I was working 8 - 10 hours a day. I was exhausted but happy because I have learn a few things from this sweet kids and my cousin gave me some money and I need money :D 

Then my cousin introduced me to her friend. Her friend gave me a dream job - health-blog related job. I was so excited and happy so I started work on this site about health etc. I thought that everything will work out but it didn’t… I thought that I was mentally ready for this… but I wasn’t. I stopped taking pills, I still don’t go to the gym. I feel terrible. I thought that I have to (and I can) deal with it on my own so I left my blog. 

I was wrong and I’m back now. I missed you so much thank you for all the messages. I don’t know what else should I say. 

I need help.

I did it!

I cooked the cupcakes and took them out and then ignored them until my husband said he was on his way home so I wouldn’t have to deal with being around them and the urge to binge. They did come out uneven but I had one that was small and one that was bigger, so I figure it’s even enough to not flip out over and I took some meds to help my anxiety with that. Then I frosted and ate the 2 of them like an almost normal person! It was awesome. I’ve missed cake.. a lot.

like my family is 100% a cheese family

we’ll eat cheese with everything, on everything, at all times

but here my brother and i never really buy cheese because there isn’t any good (cheap) cheese in this godforsaken land tbh.

my parents were here for a week and they bought us good (not that cheap) cheese. 

i ate a fucking block of cheese in like 2 days

《《《Guys….I haven’t had weed in like 2 months or something. And I just ate a weed brownie it is now 10:06pm on May 20th, 2015. So I consumed the brown edible now 57 minutes ago. Whoa. It just keeps getting you higher and higher doesn’t it? Or maybe I’ve always been this high. Idk anymore man…

Update: My body is tingling. 😱😍 “Awe woman, mamas back to the office…” -Leslie Knope (Okay it’s not an actual quote of hers, I made it up. But doesn’t it seems like something she would say though!) ^ Knowledge. Very factual. Because I’m Justin timber lake and did you ask for a ticket into my pants because ding ding you won the lottery" -Tom (Also not a actual quote but come on!) “What is everyone talking about?? Everyone else: Shut up. You don’t have to be so rude I just want my 2 years to be here then be gone”- Jerry (Me: “Aww poor Jerry” said from behind my computer screen as everyone on screen laughs at Jerry) “You guys are so weird” - April (Probably said, but I’m not sure if I just have a powerful imagination or just sounds like something she said, I’m not sure. May come back to this one.) “I’m a nurse” -Ann (Yup, fact.) “What the fuck?!! …….. [Two episodes later] No fuck you I’m just going to move.” - An’s Boyfriend After Andy “I no longer live in a Pit!” -Andy (Probably……he’s so adorable!) “Ok, everyone back to work.” -Ron Swanson (I’m like 88% positive that this was said) —BOOM that’s all my knowledge of Park & Recs so far, I’m on Season 2 Episode 22. Thanks Netflix!—