Har-Har

So This Guy comes up to me while I'm cutting bamboo and tells a joke...

"A Panda and a Zookeeper go to a bar and orders chicken wings. Shortly after finishing the panda pulled out a gun, shot the man next to him and runs out. Bartender yells at the  zookeeper "ARENT YOU GOING TO DOING ANYTHING!?" the zookeeper responds "What thats what pandas do, eat shoots and leaves."

here’s something dumb i just wrote and most of it doesn’t make sense and it changes tenses like 40 billion times OH WELL it’s just for fun ok i’ll shut up now ~~

au where zayn is cursed by an evil warlock jealous of his extreme beauty. the warlock says that when zayn comes in contact with his soulmate, he’ll slowly turn to gold. true love’s kiss will reverse the curse BUT part of the curse is that he will not look desirable in the eyes of his soulmate. they will not see zayn’s true face, but an average face - meaning he’d have to find true love without his vast beauty to help him. zayn feels helpless due to it, always assuming his looks were the only desirable thing about him. he can’t imagine anyone actually falling in love with HIM, not without the
help of his face. therefore he never actively tries to find love because it would only end up with him as a fucking gold statue.

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