GUYS HE'S SO CUTE

Admin Sei Rants 

 So remember my crush, who played this horror game with me We’ve been bros since the first semester, especially when I started liking this gay guy ((I know he is gay but he is so cute)) and he started liking the gay guy’s really pretty best friend 

And we used to text and call each other whenever we saw them together bc they’re best friends so they’re always with each other 

And that we’d shift to their course, as a joke, to be with them in classes 

But haha 

Second semester, I now have a crush on him 

The him who still pines for this pretty and really smart girl 

And he still texts and calls me about her 

And I don’t know what to do I keep asking my friends to tell me things about him that’d make me like him less, to search for things I’d hate 

But he is so kind to me 

He is smart and funny I can’t find anything, they can’t find anything

Except for one 


 That he doesn’t like me back

okay, hold up. i have been so upset about this. do you see this young man? his name is suraj sharma and he deserves a goddamn nomination if not being handed the fucking oscar for life of pi, okay. here’s why:

1. this fucker had never acted before. he only was at the auditions because his brother was auditioning and he BRIBED him to come for A MOTHERFUCKING SUBWAY SANDWICH.

2. i don’t know if you know this, but there was NO tiger in any damn scene when he is on that damn boat. HE IS LOOKING AT AIR AND I BELIEVED THERE WAS A FUCKING TIGER IN THE MOVIE UNTIL AFTER I WATCHED AN INTERVIEW WHERE HE SAYS THERE’S NO DAMN TIGER. HE WAS SUCH A GOOD ACTOR I THOUGHT THERE WAS AN ACTUAL TIGER.

3. HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SWIM. look, this kid lied about being able to stay afloat, but HE LEARNED AT LIKE 18 TO SWIM FOR THIS MOVIE. HIS PART IN THE MOVIE IS SURROUNDED BY WATER. MAN, I’VE BEEN SWIMMING SINCE I WAS TWO AND I WOULD STILL BE DYING IF I WAS DOING HALF THE SHIT HE PUT UP WITH IN THAT WATER. HE COULDN’T SWIM. LIKE WATER WAS CONSTANTLY DROWNING HIM. I WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF HE NEVER GOES NEAR THE WATER AGAIN AFTER THE AMOUNT OF TIME HE WAS ALMOST DROWNED.

4. if this is not enough to convince you, also look how cute he is and keep in mind that he NEVER GOT THAT FUCKING SUBWAY SANDWICH.

thank you for your time and if you haven’t seen the movie, go see it because it is amazing and i am very passionate about it as you can see.

never imagine your favorite male character becoming a dad

don’t picture him seeing the baby for the first time

refrain from thinking about how he worries and frets over his significant other during labor

abstain from notions of him realizing that he helped make this tiny squishy potato-person and holy shit how cool is that

and above all, eschew ideas about him holding his new child and excitedly whispering “i have a son/daughter” over and over again between giggles as the dorkiest grin spreads across his face

the xkit guy is like a friend who volunteers his house to host the party, decorates the whole thing himself, makes sure to buy everyone’s favorite albums so the party mix is as bangin as possible, pays for the keg and an open bar, stays sober so he can take care of you when you pass out, cleans up your puke, makes everyone breakfast, and then apologizes profusely because he doesn’t have the one kind of poptart you really like even after you tell him it’s totally okay and brown sugar cinnamon is just as good