ok but if I’m gonna be real fuckin honest rn, the number of cute guys that like my selfies on here and the number of guys that ignore me in real life just does not fucking correlate like what is this shit why are you playing these GAMES with me

  • guy:let's play truth or dare
  • me:sure
  • guy:alright I ask first, truth or dare?
  • me:truth
  • guy:have u ever done anal
  • me:no. truth or dare?
  • guy:uh... truth
  • me:ok what's your debit card number, expiration date and 3 digit security code?

“Cas, don’t touch my beer.”

“I have a question. Why does Y/N get to go on ‘guy’s night out’ with you both every week? If I’m not mistaken, she’s not male.”

“Because she doesn’t ask questions… and she doesn’t touch my beer.”

“I just think that a more gender neutral name for this event would be more appropriate. I mean, without this vessel I am neither male or female…”

“Cas… if you don’t shut up and drink your beer, I’m fairly sure this will be your first and last ‘gender neutral’ night out.”

anonymous asked:

The sweat was at one with their flesh, for as he thrust further and further, it acted as lubrication and as a symbollic osmosis for their undying love united under slime and flesh. The squirms of his whimsy made a slushing noise inside the bowels of his partner, the thrusting getting faster and faster as heated howled honed through the house and into the night, causing nary an owl to not hear and fall from their perch at such a cacophany. cont'd

The shutters shudded, and the cows came home as, Kuueater unleashed his torrential monsoon of yogurt gushing forth; content and smirking at his work of white on green, he yawned, and placed the bowl of jello back into the fridge for another night.

4548) Whenever I get selfconscious/dysphoric over how high my singing voice I try to think of guy's like Mitch from Pentatonix rocking notes I can't even hit

shout out my otherkin friends and familiars out there !!!!!

you’re rly great and amazing and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise okay ?
you matter a lot and you deserve loads of love please don’t let anyone else on here or anywhere else tell you otherwise

Silly headcanon time!

When it comes to being unabashedly nerdy, Arthur and Vivi take the cake, much to Lewis’ embarrassment.  Vivi has no shame, and Arthur just likes to be a little shit.  Poor Lewis, fresh out of high school (comparatively) and still feeling the sting of social stigma, can only plead with them to be quieter come on guys people are staring.  Arthur’s excuse is he did his time in high school, what does he care what people think now?  His friends like him just the way he is.

“Are you two quite done being embarrassing?”

Arthur‘s grin only widened as he caught Vivi’s eye, before he burst out loudly, “When the moon hits your eye like this big beefy guy, that’s amore~”  He held his hands out to exaggeratedly showcase Lewis, who’s face was slowly turning red. 

Vivi picked it up without a pause, giving Lewis a leering once over.  “When dat ass moves on past makes me skip my next class, that amore!”

Hyena laughter would be an apt description for the sound that escaped the two as they cackled at their friend’s mortification.  Lewis’ only defense was to put his head in his hands and pray the ground swallowed him whole.

Whenever I hang out with my one friend all she does is drag me like half of the things she laughs at are how ugly I am and I’m always the butt of her jokes and ever since I introduced her to this guy who’s my friend she and him have been using me as a bonding tool or whatever so they just shit on me and laugh together like all they do is take ugly pics of me and laugh and then call me annoying and stupid and a bitch and I feel so ugly and unwanted all the time now

Okay so yesterday when I got my new phone the guy who was helping me was the manager but he was a younger guy. He’s kind of nerdy but really cute and he was talking to me so casually about a lot of things. And because it took so long to switch everything over I was there with him for like two hours and we just talked about everything.
And so just now I get this text and he’s like hey Emily. How are you enjoying your new phone? And signed off with his name and -manager from sprint
And so I responded and then I was like “do you do this with all new customers or am I special?” And he said “I’ve actually never done this before but I just really enjoyed talking to you and wanted to see if you’d want to go out sometime?!”
Alfalfa ajrjwjdjsj!!

It’s really cute that someone on my street gave their toddler one of those oversized kiddy megaphones and they’re singing and dancing. It’s like a little jigglypuff.

But seriously it’s been going on for over three hours now.

Come on guys it’s midday don’t you know some of us are trying to sleep?

tyffanyblews asked:

so my crush is this guy who's in a band... he has the sweetest smile and is great with kids and he's hilarious and just has a darling personality. he dyes his hair a lot and is really spooky and he's josh dun. i have a crush on josh dun.

we all have crushes on josh dun

Polaris Woods Wild Pokemon Population Poll

Alrighty guys, let’s figure out which Pokemon will inhabit the Polaris Woods! You get ONE vote per CATEGORY! Similar to the March Madness bracket polls you will vote in this format: “A1, B2.. etc.”

Note: Some suggestions were not included in the poll because they did not fit for an early Pokemon (Ruasith, Murkrow, etc.) or they have been decided they will be put in a cave/other enviornment (Spydirt, Molner, etc.). We hope you understand!

Your Choices:

Common Bugs
A1. Caterpie
A2. Venonat
A3. Scatterbug
A4. Kricketot
A5. Burmy
A6. Wurmple
A7. Spinarak
A8. Combee
A9. Ledyba
A10. Paras
A11. Sewaddle
A12. Joltik
A13. Pineco
A14. Venipede
A15. Yanma
A16. Weedle

Common Birds
B1. Spearow
B2. Starly
B3. Taillow
B4. Pidove
B5. Hoothoot
B6. Fletchling
B7. Pidgey

Common Rodents / Early Common Normal Types
C1. Sentret
C2. Bidoof
C3. Bunnelby
C4. Zigzagoon
C5. Lillipup
C6. Whismur
C7. Patrat
C8. Rattata
C9. Azurill

Uncommon Early Pokemon
D1. Teddiursa
D2. Alchemask
D3. Equillna
D4. Peppout
D5. Deerling
D6. Slakoth
D7. Shroomish
D8. Pikachu
D9. Farfetch’d
D10. Cleffa
D11. Ralts
D12. Stunky
D13. Skitty
D14. Litleo
D15. Tangela
D16. Natu
D17. Buneary
D18. Aipom
D19. Bellsprout
D20. Timburr
D21. Houndour
D22. Abra
D23. Hoppip
D24. Nidoran♂
D25. Nidoran♀
D26. Shinx
D27. Phantump
D28. Snubbull
D29. Oddish

Which do you vote for!?