One day I had asked her how much she loved me.
We had been dating for a maximum of nine months and we hadn’t been able to truly utter those three magical words with our hectic lives keeping us busy, but still I had been curious or curious enough to ask out of the blue.
"Here," she answered slowly as she looked up from her book to bore her eyes into mine.
"Here," I repeated not fathoming what she meant by it and even more so puzzled when she stood abruptly closing her book as she did walking over to me a smile plastered on her face causing my heart to forget to beat.
"Yes, here," she answers again like it’s the most obvious answer in the world and that I should understand her meaning but had no time to voice it as she kisses me lightly on the lips ending the discussion there.
Six years later we are married and expecting our first child.
I’m pacing around rubbing soothing circles over my heavily pregnant belly unable to hone in on my emotions until I look up and see her standing in the doorway.
I feel my breath hitch like the first day I met her and it causes our little one to squirm inside me disarming me a moment as I emotionally asked how much she loved me.
"Here," she answered instantly unlike she did all those years ago and like last time I simply look at her stopping my pacing as I did.
"Here," I repeated with hurt, anger and confusion dripping in my voice. I didn’t understand her meaning or why she simply wouldn’t say anything more than ‘Here’.
She didn’t say anything more so she flinched at the tone in my voice and before I could say anything I felt a strong convulsion ripping through my body as water pooled at my feet.
Needless to say we did not discuss it for I had went into labor that very day.
We’ve been married now for a little over fifteen years with three very beautiful children. We had seen and done many things any normal family would do trying to be the best parents any two could be.
I had gotten a call from a police officer saying that there was an accident involving my wife. Telling me that they had rushed her to the hospital as he gave me his condolences.
Without thinking I hauled all three of our children into our minivan and got to the hospital in time for the doctors to say she doesn’t have much time and that I was allowed to see her.
It felt like my world was being pulled off of under my feet as I made my way to her room. Surprised to see her awake yet sad as realization rears it’s ugly little head into my emotions.
"We don’t have much time," she smiled faintly with tears in her eyes possibly recognizing the fear in mine.
"I know," I mumbled faintly a moment looking at her. Beautiful as I remember yet so very broken, "I know," I say again with tears threatening to spill out.
"Come here," she asked as she raised her hand for me to take.
Wordlessly I go to her grabbing her hand with both of my own. We stay like this for a moment already mourning yet she was still here and there was still time.
"I love you," I sobbed freely staring at her pleadingly a moment.
"How much do you love me," she asked me disregarding what I said as she bore her eyes into mine like she did that day I had asked her the same exact question.
"I -," I chocked unable to push the words out. How much do I love her? I love her to the universe and beyond. I fell in love with her the moment our eyes met at the little dinner that’s no longer there in a town we thought we’d never escape from. I had fallen in love with her each day after and more so the day I became her wife and yet I could not say them.
"Here," she said softly her eyes drifting further and further away as the monitor started to give that awful noise once someone’s heart had stopped.
"Here," I shouted out confused, hurt and lost as the nurses and doctors rushed in pulling my trembling form out of her room.
She had died two days before the day we had met.
I’m seventy two now.
Sitting under an Apple Tree next to a stone with a name, birth date and death date written on it.
"Here," I answer faintly rubbing my tired hand on the stone with a wrinkled smile. Finally understanding what she meant all those years ago when we just started out not even a year into our relationship when I asked a simple question.
"I have loved you to here and will every day after."
Love can not be measure for it is immeasurable. Therefore it is unknown just how much one person can love another.
- okay this was inspired by a tumblr post and it was bugging me so I had to write it down.
This was the end result. ;~;