Crank-Yankers

anonymous asked:

MY MOM'S AFRAID OF MUPPETS!!! You rock btw!

Yo. Puppets are so fucking terrifying. And lemme tell you why. 

When I was about 10 years old I went to Lancaster with my family, and we went to this prank store. My brother was 12 and we decided to explore the store. We went down into the lower level and it was just FLOOR TO CEILING PUPPETS. I already didn’t like puppets because of the show Crank Yankers. So I was just so terrified, and ran into another room. But the next room was the same thing, except for one wall. WHICH WAS JUST A HUGE MIRROR. I started crying and screaming and thought the puppets were gonna kill me so my brother started laughing hysterically, and it made it worse. Finally I just ran upstairs. 

SO. Your mom is RIGHT to be afraid of them. They are SCARY AS HELL.

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Ya know, I can’t remember if I’ve posted Crank Yankers stuff before, so I’ll do it again if I’ve had.

"I COULD FUCK MY WAY OUT OF A CARDBOARD BOX."

Spoonie Luv places a personal ad in the Village Voice…

Spoonie Luv: OK, let’s keep it simple then, only hotties need apply must like long walks on the beach, nights in front of the fireplace and sushi. shouldn’t steal my stuff. I like my women hairy. must have titties and the budonkadonk butt. I don’t like a dirty ass. gotta have a clean ass. 

Cheryl: you obviously….have you read our personals? 

Spoonie Luv: yeah…I’m just puttin’ my personal, dis what I want! and last but not least, gotta have strong legs, especially at the knees. gonna spend a lot of time on the knees. 

Mister Richard Smoker original subission for Crank Yankers
  • Mister Richard Smoker original subission for Crank Yankers
  • Ween
Play

Grab it now if you want it. The links never last long.

via Mickey Melchiondo

I saw a post below of ween playing “fancypants” on Crank Yankers, originally we did “Mister Richard Smoker” for them and then they decided it was too much—-here is the Crank Yankers original version we submitted.

http://www.chocodog.com/chocodog/smoker.mp3

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A Look Back — Stephen on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

Way back in April 2004 then Daily Show correspondent Stephen Colbert made an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live to discuss his brushes (or lack thereof) with Candidate Greatness on the ’04 presidential campaign trail. We all remember his *one* question with Howard Dean, right? He also talks about his wife’s discomfort with a NSFW comedic piece he did on Kimmel’s Comedy Central show Crank Yankers. Stephen ends the interview with an edited piece about editing a piece, channeling tyrannical bits of what soon would become his character just a year and a half later.

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