Hah. Dying to know what line of hers did you in. Every time she opens her mouth I either roll my eyes or cheer. And then roll my eyes again. This show can’t decide where it is or what it’s doing and I’m pretty lost myself.
I missed the episode on January 22nd (because SUNDANCE) and just never caught up, but apparently Mary got raped*, Catherine killed Diane de Poitiers with a chair**, Bash found out Kenna ratted Diane’s legitimization plan out to Catherine***, Francis and Mary scuffled and made up and scuffled again and Mary is now running around with Louis Conde the Bourbon prince who in Real History was a decade older and had a family and would have killed her rather than bedding her.
Oh, and you know that Francis and Lola had a baby, right? Francis? The little boy king who was 14 and basically impotent in real life had a baby with Lola?
And that apparently Marie de Guise has come back to visit and is dying of something and being rude to people— she inadvertently drugged Lola who basically had an epic acid trip and went Mama Bear on the Hapsburgs for their monobrows and something about her baby son being engaged to their daughter.
And Peppercorn lost his daughter in the first episode of the season to PLAAAAGUE and he and Greer are married but he’s disappeared and she’s now, apparently a madam in a brothel because Mary kicked her out of the castle because it turns out that Peppercorn (Castleroy) accidentally funded the rebels who broke into the castle looking for Francis and didn’t find him and rapedl Mary instead.
Which is kind of based on history because rebels tried to kidnap Francis and failed but in general it’s a big ol’ mess and now, NOW, they’re casting Elizabeth I. And since we’re going between the lines I want Elizabeth to ride up all “BITCH GET MY COAT OF ARMS OFF YOUR DRESS.” and then a scuffle to ensue. Mary lived with nuns but Elizabeth was Henry VIII’s daughter and would know how to fight dirty and therefore kick her arse. Trust.
And Narcisse and Antoine poisoned Henry. Or maybe it was just Antoine and Narcisse tried to… I’m so lost. Oh! And Antoine is trying to woo Kenna away from Bash.
I’m sure I missed something, but if right about now you’re staring at your screen like ‘LOL, WHUT?’ then at least you’re as caught up as I am and that’s good enough.
TL;DR: Between the lines, you say? WHAT LINES. WHAT. LINES.
*According to showrunner Laurie McCarthy it was going to happen at some point. Like from the beginning Mary being raped was The Plan, and Francis Dealing With It, etc.
**I literally just giggled as I typed that. WHAT IS THIS SHOW.
***And his eyes were murder-y. Pretty sure that’s not supposed to be as sexy as it was in the GIFs I saw.
ETA: Why can’t I stop laughing? Or stay on hiatus? THIS SHOW.