808s&heartbreak

i wonder if in a few years, you’ll flinch whenever the calendar reads a date that reminds you of me. i wonder if i will ever be able to spend your birthday happy or i’ll always have to be sort of drunk. i wonder if we’ll both be in someone else’s arms, staring up at the moon, thinking, “this was when i said i love you,” i wonder if i will ever be able to fall asleep without thinking about you.

Some days I just miss you
and that’s all it is,
me,
missing you.
I’m tired of speaking through
poetry.
Because what I’m feeling
isn’t poetic.
It’s just the lingering
emptiness of someone you
love,
leaving.
It’s almost as if I died
but you keep me alive by
teasing me
with your presence
and I hate you for that.
—  ikb ‘no poetry’
I refuse to accept the fact that I miss you. the thought of you still runs through my veins, consuming my every thought. I turn up my music and drench myself in the sound of your voice at midnight. The only explanation I have for I doing this is just to have the slightest memory of how alive you made me feel just by your touch and I crave that feeling more than I crave the cigarettes and caffeine you gave me. I refuse to accept the fact that I miss you because falling for you again is more terrifying than any nightmare I’ll ever have.
—  Jaqlyn
I can’t promise very many things
Because after all we don’t really know what tomorrow brings
But I promise that I will always try
And will always remain faithful
And I will never flee
I promise to hold your hand when we are watching a movie
And rub my thumb on yours
I promise to remind you of your faith
When you feel like God has walked away
I promise to get up extra early and make you coffee
So you can get another twenty minutes of sleep
I promise to tell you that you’re amazing
And that you make me very happy
I promise to always remember the Gatorade
Whenever we go hiking
I promise to drive you home
When you had too much to drink
I promise to listen about your day
Without butting in
So you can get your two cents for a sec
I promise to steal your t shirts
And I promise to always give them back
I promise to encourage you daily
When your life seems to get off track
I promise to send you funny videos
To lighten up your day a little
I promise to call your sisters
And make sure they are okay
Because I know you’re really busy
And talking on the phone isn’t your thing
I promise to keep you on your toes
And never lose my sass
I promise to always let you touch my ass
I promise to support you
Even when I know you’re wrong
I promise to sing to you
While you endlessly work on your car
I promise to wake you up for work
When you’re insistent on staying in bed
I promise to kiss you every single damn day
I promise to carry the snacks in my bag
When we go see a movie
I promise to let you play with my hair
Right before we fall asleep
I promise to always let you
Beat me at cards
I promise to make love to you
And tell you how lucky we are
I promise to raise our children
The way that we were brought up
I promise to love them endlessly
Because you’ve loved me like that
I promise to dance with you
In the middle of the street
I promise to lay in the yard on a blanket
And watch the stars every summer
I promise to let you be little spoon
When you need a little more love
I promise to say see you later
Because you never liked goodbye
I promise to call you nicknames
And I promise you inside jokes
I promise you hard times
But the strength to endure them
I promise you my heart
And I promise you my soul
I promise you nights of singing in the car
And driving with no place to go
I promise to be faithful and I promise to be true
Because in you I found my bestfriend
My lover and it’s all in you
I’m blessed everyday
And I count my lucky stars
That I get to kiss you
And be the candy on your arm
—  ❤️
It has been about five months since I’ve lost you. Five months of sleepless nights crying my eyes out. Five months of longing to see your blueish-green eyes and perfect smile. Five months of wondering what I could’ve done to make you stay. I know you’ve moved on. It fucking kills me. I know you love her. I know it’s always really been her. But I also know that you still really care about me. That is what makes it so damn hard to let you go. The possibility that you will comeback. I never want to let you go. You gave me way too much to remember to let you go…
—  letting go of you is impossible