52tolose

Looking back on the person I was 2 years ago is a bittersweet thing for me. You can see all over my face in the picture on the left (even with the fake ass smile) that I was not a happy person. I hated myself, everything about myself. Every time I looked in the mirror I was disgusted, ashamed and embarrassed by what was staring back at me. For years self hatred consumed me. It turned me into a miserable shell of a human being. And now I look at the picture on the right, and finally my smile is real. Losing weight has done so much more for me than just take me down a couple of clothing sizes. I’m a much more confident, energetic and all around happier person now than I have ever been. The greatest reward though? I’m finally learning to love myself.

It’s amazing to see what a huge difference 2 years can make :)

PLEASE HELP ME SAVE MY DOG!!!

8 years ago we adopted Rommel, and since then he’s been more than an important part of our family. He’s been a best friend, a loyal companion, a sleeping partner, a walking buddy, a playmate and the list goes on. He’s such a special dog, he’s got human like intelligence. When you talk to him you just know that he completely understands you.
I had my heart broken on 1.27.14 when he was rushed to the vet and I got the news that my boy had fluid in his lungs and was going into heart failure. Since then he’s seen a specialist and it was confirmed that he has large cell lymphoma. While lymphoma is treatable, it’s a very costly process and my family and I don’t know how we’re going to afford the treatments necessary to keep our dog alive. We are absolutely desperate for help.
To read his story and make a small donation please click on this link:

http://www.gofundme.com/6ip688

http://www.gofundme.com/6ip688

http://www.gofundme.com/6ip688

Please help me save my sleeping partner, I don’t know what I’d do if I knew there was a chance to save him and I couldn’t.
Please signal boost this, we need help. Thank you all in advance for reading, reblogging, and any small donations you are willing to contribute.

A very unattractive photo of my stomach. But I’m the best I’ve ever looked and the most confident that I have ever been. Those are MY rolls, MY stretch marks, MY love handles and MY thunder thighs and cellulite. And you know what? I am fucking proud of how far I’ve come. Those rolls, stretch marks, dimples and big old thighs have come a long way from what they used to be. I’m not done yet, but finally being able to start embracing my flaws and loving myself feels amazing :)

PLEASE HELP ME SAVE MY DOG

8 years ago we adopted Rommel

 

And he’s become more than an important part of our family. He’s been a playmate, a loyal companion, a sleeping partner, a walking buddy, and so much more. I had my heart broken when my parents rushed him to the vet on 1.27.14 and received the news that my boy had fluid in his lungs and was going into heart failure. The next day we had him brought to a specialist and it was confirmed that Rommel has large cell lymphoma. While lymphoma is treatable, my buddy here needs 15 chemo treatments adding up to about 10 grand in chemotherapy and vet bills.

My father works a seasonal job as a marine electrician. During the winter he is out of commission. My mother’s boss retired on Halloween and she was laid off and is now making not even half of what she used to on unemployment. And I work retail part time and don’t even make $10 an hour. We don’t know how we’re going to afford the treatments needed to keep our dog alive.

Every night Rommel curls up into my chest and we go to sleep. I can’t sleep without him. He’s my best friend, and I owe this to him. I’ve never been one to ask for a hand out but I am desperate to save his life. Please reblog this, please signal boost it. I need as many people to see this as possible.

If you would like to make a small donation my family and I would greatly appreciate it, even if you can’t please reblog this. I know tumblr has been successful in making some miracles happen so I’m hoping you all can help to make one happen for me to.

Donations can be made here:

http://www.gofundme.com/6ip688

http://www.gofundme.com/6ip688

http://www.gofundme.com/6ip688

Thank you to everyone who reblogs this post. And thank you to anyone who is willing to donate.

Holy shit you guys.
So this is me at 179LBS!!!
I know my official weigh day isn’t until Monday, but I was really antsy and wanted to see if I made any progress so I weighed myself early and 179 is what I clocked in at!
I couldn’t be happier :) I haven’t been able to break 180+ in FIVE YEARS. So seeing that number was amazing for me. I almost cried I was so happy.
I am so proud of myself! And this right here, is proof that losing weight is possible. I was the most unhealthy, unmotivated couch potato. And after my boyfriend left me and I went through a few weeks of wallowing, I decided that enough was enough and I needed a change in my life. And I’ve been running with it since and loving the journey. If I can do it, you can do it. You just have to want it.

From earlier today. I CAN FINALLY FIT INTO SHORTS!!!!!!! I’m SO freaking happy asdlflskajjckapakdnflaichoaqlf!!!!!!! I ended up getting white ones instead, but I might have to go back for these😉 As for my cellulite, everybody has it and I worked damn hard to get to where I’m at right now so I’m not gonna let some stupid thing like dimples in my thighs bring down such an awesome non scale victory for me. Goodnight guys!

80 day weight loss challenge questions:

1. Write your current stats: height, current weight and goal weight. Why are you losing weight? 

2. Describe your dream/goal body. 

3. Is your UGW in an unhealthy range of BMI? 

4. Have a vegan day today. No meat, no eggs, no dairy, no animal products whatsoever. Give it a try! 

5. What is your favorite healthy food? 

6. What is your favorite unhealthy food? 

7. What is your least favorite healthy food? 

8. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

9. What is your favorite type of cardio? 

10. Do you count calories? If so, what is your daily limit? 

11. Today you will be cooking for your whole family. Find a healthy recipe online that they will also enjoy and show them how tasty healthy food can be! 

12. What is your least favorite type of cardio? 

13. What is your favorite type of strength exercise? 

14. What is your least favorite type of strength exercise? 

15. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

16. Which part of your body do you wish to change the most and why? 

17. Do you have a special event/date you want to lose the weight for? 

18. Try to use as little salt as possible today or maybe even none! Don’t buy microwave meals and don’t eat foods high in sodium. 

19. Are you losing weight the healthy or the unhealthy way? 

20. Who is your biggest weight loss inspiration and why? 

21. Do you focus more on getting lean and mean or tiny and fragile? 

22. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

23. How much water do you usually drink in a day? 

24. Have you ever had an eating disorder? 

25. Today you will try a new smoothie. Find a new healthy recipe online and mix & match fruits and veggies and enjoy! But it must be totally new and adventurous! 

26. Do your friends know about you wanting to lose weight? Do they support you? 

27. Does your family support you in your weight loss? 

28. What is your favorite type of snack? 

29. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

30. Are you a vegan or a vegetarian? 

31. What are your favorite workout clothes you own? 

32. Try a new fruit today. Learn how to cut/eat it and enjoy! How was it? 

33. Are you on a diet or are you making this a lifestyle? 

34. Do you take your meals from home to work? If so, what do you usually prepare? 

35. Have you ever fasted? What was the reason for it? 

36. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

37. Have you ever purged? If so, how did you feel afterwords? 

38. Have you ever binged? If so, what is your binge food? 

39. Try a new veggie today. Learn how to prepare it and enjoy! How was it? 

40. What is your body frame? Small, large or medium? 

41. Where are you from? Is your country’s diet healthy or unhealthy in general? 

42. How many meals do you usually have a day? 

43. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

44. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Does (s)he know about you losing weight? Does (s)he support you? 

45. Do you have a rest day when you don’t work out? Which day is it? 

46. Try changing your routine today. Don’t do the same exercises as the week before, learn a new move to cinch that waist or to tone those thighs! 

47. Have you forbidden yourself any type of food? 

48. Do you reward yourself when you reach your short-term goal? What are your rewards? 

49. What do you usually have for breakfast? 

50. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

51. Do you have a cheat day? 

52. What do you enjoy the most in your weight loss? What makes you happier than ever before? 

53. Try to eat nothing but raw food today. No cooking, no baking, no grilling. Eat raw carrots, canned tuna or smoked salmon, maybe even sushi! Just eat fresh, non-processed food. It might be weird and unnatural but that’s actually the healthiest way to eat. Enjoy your healthy day! 

54. What is your favorite weight loss blog? 

55. Will you continue to write your blog after you reach your UGW? 

56. Have you ever been on a low-carb diet? How was it for you? 

57. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

58. Do you believe in restriction or in moderation? 

59. Describe your dream outfit, the one you imagine yourself wearing once you reach UGW. 

60. Ditch sugar and ALL sweets today. For just one day promise yourself you won’t eat any candy, sugar, sweets or any similar food. 

61. Write your usual meal plan for one day. 

62. Watching TV, do you usually watch the food channels or movies/TV-shows/series? 

63. What are your fitness goals? (Splits, hand-stands, push-ups…) 

64. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

65. Post a picture of your goal body or a person you strive to look like. 

66. Do you have short-term goals too? What are they? 

67. Today is no Internet day. That’s right, you will try just one day to be off the Internet, post your progress/food log/training schedule tomorrow, because today, you are going back to basics! 

68. What is your least favorite unhealthy food? 

69. Which part of your body do you like the most and why? 

70. Were you ever obese or underweight? 

71. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

72. Do you eat the same meal as your family or do you eat specially prepared food? 

73. What do you usually order when eating out in a restaurant or at someone else’s house? 

74. Today you won’t count calories. You won’t look at food labels. You will try to eat intuitively. What does that mean? Eat when you’re hungry, don’t look at the clock! Eat whatever your body desires! Just make sure it’s healthy. If you crave anything sweet, eat it! But a healthy amount. And remember, today you must forget all about calories! 

75. Do you have a trigger food? A type of food that is impossible for you to say no to or stop eating? 

76. Do you drink smoothies? If so, what is your favorite recipe? 

77. Do you enjoy eating healthy or do you find it being too expensive or that it takes too much of your time? 

78. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? 

79. What was the most recent compliment/comment about your body? 

80. Write your current weight. Have you lost anything in the past week? If not, what are your plans for this week? Today is the last day of this challenge. After writing your stats, describe how you’ll continue eating/exercising from now on!

Hi everyone! It’s been a VERY long time so let me give you a bit of an update…

I got VERY depressed and gained ALL of my weight back, which made me even more depressed. My dog passed away, my father had a heart attack and I was used by a lot of people that I considered to be my friends. But I’m back! And I’m ready to restart my journey and make 2015 the year of ME. I’m going to FINALLY get my shit together, get fit, get my drivers license, my pistol permit, and my fucking high school diploma! But most of all, I’m going to learn how to love myself and be happy. Bring it on 2015, I’m coming in swinging!

Insanely proud of myself right now.

So I haven’t eaten all day. Not because I was starving myself, I woke up at 4:30 this morning and puked my guts up 😞 so I wasn’t feeling good and even looking at food made me nauseous.
So about a half an hour ago I was finally hungry. I went in the fridge and found French fries. I popped them in the microwave and about 6 seconds in I stopped it and threw the fries in the garbage and got a small bowl of chex cereal instead. Really proud of myself because fries are one of my biggest weaknesses. So to throw them out is a huge step in the right direction for me 😊

I have stuff to say. Hi guys.

Today was GREAT. I’ve been giggling and laughing and smiling all day!! I’ve just been full of positive energy and did 2 things today that were HUGE steps for me.

1. I blocked my ex Mike on facebook.

Mike is a very confusing situation. We tried dating 4 times but were just sooooo toxic to eachother. We cared about eachother so much, but couldn’t stop fighting. But towards the end of the relationship, when I finally had given up on everything, he changed into something I never thought he would. He turned into such a complete and total asshole. Belittled me all the time. Made me depressed and miserable, but I held on for some stupid reason until one day he pushed me too far and I walked away. About a month later, we tried to be friends and things just weren’t sitting well with me. We were still fighting just like we were when we were dating. And he was still the same negative, unmovitivated douchebag I walked away from. He always had this type of hold on me though. And today I finally ended his chapter in the book that is my life.

2. I deleted Steven’s text messages.

I’m not going to be a slave to him and his words. Period. This is my time for me now, not to focus on me a little bit but still on him. I got so caught up in missing him and wanting him back that I almost lost the progress I’d made in taking these steps to be independent. And I see he’s still a jackass too, and that’s not something I want back in my life. I don’t need the stress.

It’s time for me to focus on only me and nobody else. And I think I’m going to do that with a month of solitude. No hanging out with anybody or sleepovers or any of that stuff. Yeah it’s gonna suck being cooped in the house, but it’s gonna give me some time to clear my head and really focus on me and eating clean and my new lifestyle without slipping up while it’s still in the very delicate beginning stages. Plus, I just really think I need to be alone for a bit. I need to really focus on getting my shit together. And I just really need a break from people to be honest.

Well, that’s all for this post. Bye fitties.

My first 5K

It was absolutely fantastic and it truly tested my mental strength. I ran it in 47 minutes, which I don’t see as too bad considering I’m not a runner. And I gave it my absolute ALL and didn’t stop ONCE. I’m so proud of myself.
I want to be a runner and this proved that I mentally have what it takes to get myself in gear and pick up the beautiful art that is running. Thank you everyone who wished me luck I appreciate it so much!!
I can’t wait to do another one. And I DEFINITELY wanna do the color run. Maybe when I finally do that, I’ll see some of you amazing, amazing people there :)