30tc

30-DAY TV CHALLENGE | Day 04 - Your favorite show ever | Skins

“Do you know what hurts the most about a broken heart? Not being able to remember how you felt before. Try and keep that feeling, ‘cause if it goes, you’ll never get it back….Then you lay waste to the world, and everything in it!”

Had a semi-nightmare and woke up super early this morning. It had been a long time since I woke up while the sky is still dark. Taking advantage of the cool air, I went for a run in the park. I had fallen asleep yesterday thinking about all the messy matters, and woke up today with no less confusion. It doesn’t matter where I am, or how fast I run; until I deal with my feelings honestly, I can never escape it. I would like to think it’s all due to the hormone fluctuation, but I know better.

Yet I don’t know what to do about it, so I went running instead.

30-DAY TV CHALLENGE | Day 15 - Favorite female character | Effy Stonem from Skins

“If you close your eyes you see darkness. But if you keep them closed for long enough… you’ll see light”

30-DAY TV CHALLENGE | Day 01- A show that should have never been canceled  | My So-Called Life

“People are always saying you should be yourself, like yourself is this definite thing, like a toaster. Like you know what it is even. But every so often I’ll have, like, a moment, where just being myself in my life right where I am is, like, enough”

30-DAY TV CHALLENGE | Day 11 - A show that disappointed you | Hellcats

I love the characters, dancing and cheering, but the plot.. so boring and ridiculous! It could have been sooo much better

30-DAY TV CHALLENGE | Day 08 - A show everyone should watch   | Parks and Recreation

Leslie: What if he shows up with another woman? What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly. What if instead of tic tacs I accidentally pop a couple of Ambien and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?

Ann: Those are all insane hypotheticals and I promise you they won’t happen.

Leslie: They have happened. All of these have happened to me. Uh, no, there’s more. One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine. Once I went out with a guy who wore 3-D glasses the entire evening. Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy’s motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs. Another time I went to a really boring movie with a guy and while I was alseep he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literaly woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple times after that but then he got weird.


30-DAY TV CHALLENGE | Day 09 - Best scene ever | Skins 4.03 “The ending”

“Don’t be afraid, it’s only love
Love is simple
Don’t be afraid, you’re already dead…”

I could have picked soooo many other scenes for this category, but Im currently obsession over this episode in skins season 4, so I had to choose this one. It says so much about what feelings a girl goes through after losing her virginity - her “innocence” is gone, and she can never get it back.

30-DAY TV CHALLENGE

Im going to do the 30-day TV challenge!

  • Day 01- A show that should have never been canceled
  • Day 02 - A show that you wish more people were watching
  • Day 03 - Your favorite new show (aired this t.v season)
  • Day 04 - Your favorite show ever
  • Day 05 - A show you hate
  • Day 06 - Favorite episode of your favorite t.v show
  • Day 07 - Least favorite episode of your favorite t.v show
  • Day 08 - A show everyone should watch
  • Day 09 - Best scene ever
  • Day 10 - A show you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving
  • Day 11 - A show that disappointed you
  • Day 12 - An episode you’ve watched more than 5 times
  • Day 13 - Favorite childhood show
  • Day 14 - Favorite male character
  • Day 15 - Favorite female character
  • Day 16 - Your guilty pleasure show
  • Day 17 - Favorite mini series
  • Day 18 - Favorite title sequence
  • Day 19 - Best t.v show cast
  • Day 20 - Favorite kiss
  • Day 21 - Favorite ship
  • Day 22 - Favorite series finale
  • Day 23 - Most annoying character
  • Day 24 - Best quote
  • Day 25 - A show you plan on watching (old or new)
  • Day 26 - OMG WTF? Season finale
  • Day 27 - Best pilot episode
  • Day 28 - First t.v show obsession
  • Day 29 - Current t.v show obsession
  • Day 30 - Saddest character death

30-DAY TV CHALLENGE | Day 12 - An episode you’ve watched more than 5 times | One Tree Hill 2x22

Brooke: George Bernard Shaw once wrote: “There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart’s desire. The other is to gain it.” Clearly, Shaw had his heart broken once or twice.
Nathan Scott: As far as I’m concerned, Shaw was a punk. Cause you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do, give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That’s life. The confusion and fear? That’s there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for.
Haley James: This year, I got everything I wanted and everything I wished for. But in a way, I lost even more.
Lucas Scott: Shaw was right. As we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things we think will make our lives better: money, popularity, fame… we ignore what truly matters, the simple things, like friendship, family, love. The things we probably already had.
Mouth McFadden: So Mr. Shaw thinks that getting your heart’s desire is a tragedy? I say he’s wrong. I mean, clearly Shaw never kissed Erica Marsh.
Peyton Sawyer: Yes, losing your heart’s desire is tragic. But gaining your heart’s desire? That’s all you can hope for. This year I wished for love… to immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn’t give it back for the world.

Having a panic attack now cuz seems like my travel plan may be disrupted by lots and lots of waiting time on public transport :((((( and so I just ate one sweet pastry and lots of mini biscuits ahhhhh

Ok relax relax. Gonna stick with my workout later at 6:15pm latest. No excuses!!!!!

Today

is a horrible day.

No joke. I ate badly at breakfast, skipped my workout in the morning because ‘I woke up late and it’s too hot to exercise outside now’.

Which is true. And the heat was honestly killing me that I stayed at home all day, reading crap chick lit, flicking through the channels and eating Ferrero Rocher. One by one by one, out of the box. And I finished about half a box. Even I’m disgusted by me.

I’ll go for a run at 6pm, I told myself, when it would be more shady and less hot. And when it started raining at about 5pm, I gave up altogether and decided today is just gonna be a bad day for me.

Denial denial denial. The truth is that lying to myself hurts. Telling myself that I love chocolate and I can stomach another one makes me unwell physically and mentally. I can feel myself slipping back to bad habits and it’s so very disappointing. But that doesn’t mean I’m not gonna change.

So, at 9pm, I put on my running shoes and went for a run. It was dark, there were not a lot of people in the park, and I just know that I need to get out of the house. I wouldn’t say the run torched off all the calories consumed today, but just moving my butt showed me that I CAN bring myself to do something, and that I feel MUCH better moving than wallow in self-pity and do nothing.

When I was lazing around at home earlier today, I was watching tons of Youtube videos where celebrities shared their skincare tips and weight loss methods. At first I was hooked, then I feel that they are simply reciting promotional lines and we are so different genetically and live in different environments, how could I possibly copy them and follow the same ways? It’d be impossible/ so hard that I’d give up/ not work at all (as my common sense and scientific knowledge tell me. Seriously. Sometimes the 'experts’ make no sense at all). I feel so silly for listening to their 'recommendations’ believing that I could do it. Additionally, there were some 'online quizzes’ I took which showed whether you could lose weight or not/ are you a lucky person based on the positions of your moles etc. According to them I have huge sexual demands, would end up in huge debts, have an unhappy marriage and is likely to gain weight in the second half of the year. I was freaked out, of course, but then again why am I letting all this nonsense affect me? Who can tell what will happen in my life, and whatever that will happen in my life will happen right, so shouldn’t I focus on learning how to face them with an open mind rather than worrying over it?

And this was what prompted me to go for my run at night. I’m tired of mindless absorbing what others think I should do while I take no action to live my life. I threw away the remaining box of chocolate. I feel sad that I have to resort to such wasteful habits but I know that’s the only way I could deal with things for now.

I can’t deal with being idle, really. Later I’m gonna make a list of things to do each day until I leave for Europe. FIGHT!

A packet of caramel corn and almond nougats for breakfast :(

I made a list of things I could do to work towards my goals yesterday, and now looking at them after this unplanned binge, i am reminded again that plans are only words until I put them to work.

Going for a run this evening, and I so need to pack my wardrobe. Or maybe watch a movie just to distract myself.