2jerks

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Best of Roscoe Village Part 3
Four Treys 3333 N Damen Ave
Not to be confused with Four Moons, Four Treys is about a block away on the corner of Henderson and Damen. And where Four Moons caters to drinkers looking for unique craft beers and something to eat, Four Trey’s offers two terrible taps (Magners and Bud Light) and some other restaurant’s menu to look at. In case you get really hungry, I’ve heard rumors that if you yell “¡Tengo Hambre!” towards the heavens and then rub your stomach three times, the Tamales Guy will come running with as many tamales as your bloated drinking belly can handle. And if you get really desperate, beg the bartender for a Milkbone. Just don’t be surprised if you have to compete with two other dogs to get your treat. That’s right, since they lack the ability to feed you solids, you can bring dogs into the bar! I really think there is nothing better than getting drunk with your best friend next to you– You walk them there, and they walk you home.
Like I said before, The Four Treys beer selection is pretty awful; they have a couple different domestic bottles and random liquors behind the bar but the only thing I see people ordering are PBRs and shots of Jameson. But when you have a daily deal (except for Friday and Saturday) of $2.50 Pabsts and $3 shots of Jameson, who’d want to order anything else? Other highlights include a stuffed shark, a pool table and no crowds. My only issue with this bar is any time they show Bears games– a couple of regulars always mute the TV and blast the radio coverage– commericals included, which is ten times more annoying than listening to Joe Buck announce the game. As long as the Bears aren’t playing, or I’m supposed to be working, you can find me with a beer and a shot at The Four Treys.

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Blackies 755 S. Clark (South Loop/Printer’s Row)
 
In honor of Valentine’s Day coming up, we’re reviewing Blackie’s, quite possible the most romantic place in Chicago. Well, if Valentine’s Day decorations are romantic, then this place is Paris… or Venice… or Nick’s Uptown at 4 am (whatever’s the most romantic place in your heart).  We’ve never seen so many paper hearts hanging from a ceiling. It looked like a second grade teacher was left in charge of decorating the place, and it worked. They had us at the “Be Mine” cut-out heart. “We’re yours, Blackie’s, we’re all yours.”
 
This was our second trip back to the bar, and it was our sole mission to try the $7 burger and beer deal. The only stipulation with the special was that you had to order it before 7pm. We rolled up at 6:30, got seated right away and had our drinks at the table within 4 minutes. Awesome.
Ten minutes later we got our burgers. Fantastic.

Before we get started on the special, a little about the bar: It’s off the backside of Printer’s Row and seems like it’s only visited by locals. That said, it’s pretty low-key. You’re not gonna run into some loud drunks and wish you could smack the douche out of their bags. This the sort of place where you can take off your shoes and stay a while. (Don’t take off your shoes, that’s disgusting– even on an airplane.)

The service is exceptional and reminds of being in a small diner. The server is constantly walking past your table and asking if you need anything. And once you place an order, BAM! It’s there!

Now back to the burger: It was “better than average”. But what do you expect for $7, and it comes with fries and a beer? Actually, everything between the buns was great (You’ll never hear us say those words again, we promise). If only Blackie’s would throw in an extra nickle for a better bun, the burger would be exceptional. Speaking of exceptional, Blackie’s fries were the talk of the table. If they changed the burger special to a big basket of fries and a decent beer, we’d be just as happy.  Bad Dog Tavern might have some competition for Chicago’s best fries.

Blackie’s, you were trying to set the mood for V-Day and be Chicago’s Romance Headquarters. But in the end, we were the ones who fell head over heels for you. Don’t take this the wrong way: but if we’re in the South Loop and get the urge, would you mind if we stop by for a quicky? We know you don’t take long.

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Best of Roscoe Village Part 2
Four Moons Tavern 1847 W Roscoe St.
If you were to stand on Roscoe & Wolcott and look at the establishment, you would see two things: 1. The top-half of a building ready to collapse and 2. One really shitty logo. If I had any concern for my own well-being or was any more of an art fag (than I already am), I’d never step foot in that place. Fortunately for them, I’m incredibly lazy and only live a couple houses away. The inside of this place looks like a bar that you’d come across vacationing in the furthest outskirts of Wisconsin, except without all the un-ironic trucker hats and Miller Lite vinyl banners. While Four Moons does offer all the “excitement” of the Miller Lite vortex bottle, the bar counteracts it with an awesome selection of really great microbrews on tap like Two Bros, Lagunitas, Great Lakes and Ommegang.  There’s very few places in the city, where I can watch Da Bulls, play pool, listen to Scotland Yard Gospel Choir on the jukebox, and enjoy a great craft brew all at the same time.The one downside about this bar is its food. I’ve had people come up to me raving about it, but every time I order something, I end up wondering if I’ve lost the ability to discern what good food should taste like.  Eating their sweet potato fries was like chewing on a cold, stiff railroad ties, and on a couple different brunch outings, they served me the coldest fried eggs I’ve ever had the displeasure of tasting. Not one to leave a bad taste in your mouth, allow me to mention the best part of Four Moons Tavern– Sparky! This bartender extraordinaire is like a creature born to be behind a bar. He’s part man, part tavern. Wearing a collared shirt with a perfectly white bar apron, he’s a call back to a time where bartenders would only stop rubbing down the bar to ask “What ya’ll have Mac?”. You get the feeling that there’s a reason why this bar is so great, and I’m pretty sure he has a big part to play with it.